2013 Year in Review

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1. What did you do in 2013 that you’d never done before?

I ran away from home. Never tried that before.

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

My 2013 resolutions were to read better books from time to time, take more bubble baths, keep taking my meds, dress better and make it to Indiana at least once. I read a lot, mostly better books. I didn’t go great at taking bubble baths 🙁 , I stopped taking all meds except Ambien (this is doctor approved, or at least when I visited the doctor I’d been unmedicated for at least a couple months, so after the fact doctor approved) and made it to Indiana three times! In 2014, I want to take more bubble baths and stop feeling so fucking guilty all the time.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
YES! My friend Julie gave birth to her sweet baby M. YAY! YESS!! HOORAY!!

4. Did anyone close to you die?

5. What countries did you visit?

7. What date from 2013 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

April 1, the day I got my new-new-new (?) job.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Being selected for my new job, even though there were two candidates and two available positions. (What I’m trying to say is that I was a given for the job and the job was a given for me).

9. What was your biggest failure?

Not feeling able to call out people when they are wrong. In the fight or flight response, I nearly always vote flight.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I slipped a disc in my back during the summer, which led to all manner of hilarious shenanigans (see question 1).

11. What was the best thing you bought?

My purse. I finally got my dream purse. And it is lovely and it needs to see me through the remains of my 30s.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Mine, dammit.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
I really can’t recall if we had any puta estupida antics in 2013. So, yay. But, just in case, fuck her.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Feeding ourselves. We spend a ridiculous amount of money to feed ourselves.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Breaking Bad, Hunger Games: Catching Fire, seeing Book of Mormon.

16. What song will always remind you of 2013?

Blurred Lines, Get Lucky, Thrift Shop, all of those Pink love songs like Just Give Me a Reason.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder?

Happier. I have no idea why or how.

18. Thinner or fatter?

Fat, fat, fat. A thousand times fat. My new fitness goal is to just weigh less than Rebel Wilson but I haven’t had the heart to google it because I just don’t want to know.

19. Richer or poorer?

We’re doing OK. I try not to think about it because if I find we have $5 extra in the checking account, I will spend it.

20. What do you wish you’d done more of?

I wish I’d spent more time with the Almighty D.

21. What do you wish you’d done less of?

I wish I’d spent less time hating my job.

22. How will you be spending Christmas? Xmas 2013: at home, just Gene and I and the dogs. Christmas is on a Wednesday this year so, whatever. Christmas is just Gateway to Year End so the hoopla just makes me sad.

23. Did you fall in love in 2013?


24. Any one night stands?

I’m on the hunt for a one night stand. No, kidding, I’m on the hunt for one nightstand. And a bed. (The nightstand joke never gets old).

25. What was your favorite TV program?

Scandal, Mindy Project, Revenge. A little sick of Glee. Loved the hell out of the final season of Breaking Bad. Ambivalent about Homeland.

26. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

No one new

27. What was the best book you read?

Where’d you Go, Bernadette? and Reconstructing Amelia were both good. Did not particularly like Seating Arrangements, the Engagements or Bridget Jones Mad about the Boy (mainly because I am pissed Helen Fielding killed off Mark Darcy. WTF?)

28. What was your greatest musical discovery?

I don’t think I discovered any amazing new music this year.

29. What did you want and get?

The Louis Vuitton Madeleine PM handbag. YAY. This is last year’s What did you want and NOT get item. Thank you eBay!

30. What did you want and not get?

I’m still a little bummed we didn’t go to Vegas for Thanksgiving. Next year!

31. What was your favorite film of this year?

Hunger Games: Catching Fire. Is it time for Mockingjay: Part 1 yet?

32. What did you do on your birthday?

OMG my birthday sucked! I made a cake that I only liked a little and Gene liked not at all. I think I will try to re-celebrate my 36th in 2014.

33. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

This is where I usually post about how much nicer my year would have been if I’d been able to get pregnant. Figuring out that it’s never going to happen is a multi step process and comes and goes in waves.

34. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2013?

Blouses, knit shirts, Danskos, beloved Ugg boots and new this year, Duo Boots. And boring ass pants. Believe it or not I generally don’t wear my crappy Old Navy tshirts to work anymore.

35. What kept you sane?

The Internet in general. Playing Canasta on Pogo, Words with Friends. But also the daily Ambien o’clock. My favorite time of day. (Scratch that, my favorite time of day is 6 PM because I have my work ethic’s blessing to, as we say on my team, AMF for the day). (Adios Motherfucker).

36. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Blah blah blah Henley c. 1991. I would still hit that if given the chance.

37. What political issue stirred you the most?

May not be political, per se, but I’d like to put a fork in the “keeping Christ in Christmas” discussion each year. Even the Pope says atheists are OK.

38. Who did you miss?

I miss my grandma. I miss my MIL. I miss the Boy.

39. Who was the best new person you met?

I can’t think of anyone new I met in 2013 but I have seen new dimensions of my boss and he is a bad ass. I don’t particularly like my job (or working for a living) but I totally would go to war for my boss.

40. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2013:

Save yourself or you remain unsaved. And going back <> failure. (<> is SQL for ‘does not equal’). (I am such a geek loser).

41. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

Just a second we’re not broken just bent

And we will try to love again

-Pink, Just Give Me a Reason

Thankful ’13

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Okay, this is my second swing at this. The first was getting too maudlin and vaguebloggy and blah.

Anyway, I love all of you and I am thankful for all of you and your influence on my life. It’s been a year of laughter and tears and I am freaking glad it’s nearly over!

I am well (well stuffed with Thanksgiving food!), hope you are well (stuffed) too!

So, what else is going on?

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Hmm, apparently I started this post at least a week ago. Except, I thought I’d finished it and posted it. In reality, I only wrote the post title.


Anyway, things here at home are pretty good. Ups and downs but nothing that makes me want to load up the car and flee.

Today I replaced our clothes dryer. The old model wasn’t entirely broken or anything but it was definitely fading fast and I wanted to replace it to take advantage of a pretty good sale at Home Depot.

A week or two ago we replaced the HVAC in the house. Apparently 13 years is a pretty good lifespan for it.

Mentally trying to prepare for the party known as Year End. So far all I can think is “OMG why does year end keep happening??” My coworker pointed out that this year we didn’t really have the lull one expects after year end. That plus a very stressful summer leads me to feel that there’s just no respite. I have enough time in my time off bank to take a week off, but my other coworker is a robot and never takes time off so I don’t want to look bad in comparison. (It doesn’t help that kicks way more ass at work than I do).

Summer 2013

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So, I didn’t mean to disappear. I didn’t really disappear at all, I was always here in the odd phone call, a random text, Facebook status update, or sometimes by showing up on your doorstep late on a Sunday with two bags of dirty clothes and no toothbrush.

I’d started to live by the edict of “If you can’t say something nice, say nothing” except my version was “If you can’t say something that won’t worry your mother, say nothing”. And I had nothing to say that wouldn’t worry my mother, so I said nothing.

And, well, there was a lot of pressure here at home, a lot of stress. We weren’t communicating as we should. I injured my back, felt uncomforted, he felt deep stress and anxiety and felt uncomforted. Some yelling. Some leaving. I literally took a bag of clean clothes, a bag of dirty clothes and my laptop and took off for my parents’ house. The dogs were so wigged out they literally wouldn’t leave the back yard.

At mom and dad’s, things were good. Low drama. Low stress. Just being near (most of) the people who love me best, talking, watching cable TV. But I couldn’t stay forever so I left a few days later and came back home to Cheesecake City. And we talked. Not tons, but we talked. And things were so much better. We’re so much happier. We hold hands. We laugh. We take care of each other.

True Story.


The Longest Week

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So! Cheesecake City Restaurant Week has begun. We have tentatively scheduled a culinary adventure for every night between yesterday and next Sunday night. I say “tentatively” because we’ve given ourselves an out if work is too busy, too stressful, goes too late etc or if we’d rather just stay at home and eat pizza. Considering that we skipped Restaurant Week altogether in the winter this is definitely progress.

Last night we started the week at the Melting Pot. We’d recently gone there so it was interesting to compare the food and service during Restaurant Week against during the week. Bottom line, the food is always delicious (there’s a course entirely dedicated to cheese, what is not to love??) but during Restaurant Week we definitely felt rushed. Also our waiter was not as accommodating as the guy we had last time. I suspect that the staff is used to people getting the food off the Restaurant Week menu (I know a couple that splits a meal off the Restaurant Week menu. WTF?? Am I wrong to think that is really cheap?) so they don’t do a lot of extras that are always nice and add to the experience.

Anyway, we started with a mixed cheese with the usual bread, fruit and vegetables. Yummy. The the salad course. Then, blah blah blah entree of chicken, shrimp, beef. I described the vegetable portion of the entree as being the socks and underwear part of the meal because you eat it out of duty. Finally chocolate! We had the s’mores chocolate, with graham crackers and marshmallow fluff.

Typically we decide whose food was better at each restaurant but we ordered one of both entree options and tried everything so it is a tie.

Indiaaaaana, you old banana….

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So! I just got back from my visit to Indianapolis. I cannot even put into words how wonderful it was. I hadn’t been home in so, so long. A ridiculously long time. How did I go nearly 2 years without seeing my family in Indiana? And it wasn’t enough time, even though I could have crammed more activities into the days.

Friday, I worked all morning and then Gene took me to lunch at PF Changs and then to the airport. My original flight was delayed (due to weather?) and if I’d taken the flight from Cheesecake to NYC I would have been stuck for the night in NYC (which wouldn’t have been bad except for the whole no hotel reservation thing there) so Delta rerouted me through Minneapolis. (Wrong. Damn. -Apolis Delta!!). If the original flight was delayed due to weather I don’t know what they expected to find in Minnesota but it was snowing hard and blowing sideways.

Eventually, I made it to Indianapolis and figured out that my GPS from home was slightly outclassed by whatever-the-heck was done to the freeway. (Well, it was either my GPS or my natural ability to get lost driving places and I didn’t have any trouble getting to the airport this morning using the GPS…sooooo!!). And then I made it to my parents’ house. And my mom was all “YAY” and I was all “WOOHOO!” and I was home.

Do Payroll

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(This is one of the reasons why I don’t write here as often anymore…almost my only topic of conversation is work. Good days at work, bad days at work, promotions, hating my job, loving my job, the devil known as year-end, etc. Boooooring).

Anyway, today was a crappy day. Really, the last week has been fairly tough due to a client with technical difficulties. At work, we deal with various types of clients. We do payroll (ugh, Do Payroll) for companies and we provide technical solutions for companies who (ugh) Do Payroll for companies and we provide software for companies who (ugh) Do Payroll for companies who (double ugh) Do Payroll. The problematic client is both of the last two categories.

First up, clients who do payroll for companies are supposed to have Certain Technical Abilities. We don’t expect greatness but we do expect them to install software for themselves. At the very least I shouldn’t have to spend an entire afternoon downloading Windows Updates so we can move forward.

Second, clients who do payroll for companies who do payroll for companies should be Payroll Technical Demigods. Their IT guy should not be a frat buddy of the company’s owner who refuses to get involved (and also has an hourly rate). Their IT guy should know what the fuck a server is. They should not point the client at a drive and say “Yeah, your database is in there somewhere, I think…”

(A Small Aside… why am I always dealing with servers? Waitresses…computers…servers! Pfffhhht).

Third, I shouldn’t have to spend days of my time trying to get software to load and then install. In the real world, these people are at least payroll geniuses and don’t need to involve us at all when they need an installation. These people are (twirls finger in tight circle at ear level – this doesn’t count as defamation does it?) and I spent most of the day trying to fix them up.

All the while, I’m just dying inside. I could be helping my team. I could be trying to fix the time clock client’s time clock (client is now threatening to pull their business). A major direct client’s payroll was FUBAR and I didn’t have time to research it. I could have been working on my 80+ cases. I have a million and a half things to do but instead of sitting on a fucking web conference being this company’s IT bitch. And questioning my technical abilities. And my time and problem management abilities.