Let’s All Go to the Movies

Posted on

I can’t believe it’s been nearly a month since Gene and I attended AMC’s Best Picture Showcase. I think this is the fourth year that we’ve attended. Midway through the second Saturday of the showcase, I realized that nine movies is a ridiculous number of Best Picture nominees and that the Academy should really stop nominating third rate films for the award. We watched nine movies and I’m pretty sure that if anyone had asked me I could have cut it down to 5. Or even 4.

That said, here are my nominees:

1) Les Miz – the Academy looooves their gigantic big spectacular musicals.

2) Lincoln – ditto gigantic big historical epics.

3) Argo – and who doesn’t love a pro-America heist film? Not the Academy! (Plus hilarious 1970s haircuts). USA! USA! USA!

4) Zero Dark Thirty – ditto pro-America war film?  USA! USA! USA!

That even leaves a spot for a fifth nominee, which I think is really the minimum for the category. You can have your kooky dramedy (Silver Linings Playbook), your 3D eye-popping spectacle (Life of Pi), or the hyperviolent reimagined Western (Django Unchained). My vote – Silver Linings Playbook, which was interesting, well performed yet a little uncomfortable for various reasons.

And then there are the remainders, Beasts of the Southern Wild and Amour. Amour is the movie that kicked off the showcase this year and it was touching, shocking, depressing, about 44 hours long (no really, more like 90 minutes) and subtitled. Did I mention it was depressing? It’s the story of an elderly couple and their life together as the wife’s health declines. I don’t really need to think about how the last 10 years of my life will go (hint: I’m childless so it’s bound to go badly) so except for that one twist near the end Amour was just not for me.

Beasts of the Southern Wild was again, about 44 hours long (or maybe 90 minutes). The little girl was adorable but the movie was just unwatchable. Surely the only reason to watch this movie is to feel good about having watched it? I really can’t put into words here how gross I felt when it ended, so instead I will link to the Wikipedia article on Othering, my absolute favorite philosophical concept. (Hint: Bring on ye white man’s burden and rent this on Blu-Ray!)

Okay, so lately

Posted on

So, here’s what’s new

1) In Indiana 3/15-3/20. YAY. No special plans, just spending time with my family. (And yes, I’m also going to spend some time alone. I need some time alone.)

2) Mom and Dad visit 4/1-4/3. Waaaait. Is this an elaborate April Fools prank? Uh oh! No one’s coming to town are they? 🙁

3) Work is…work. I vacillate between wanting to be a Big Payroll lifer and wanting to be an Anything Else lifer. Some days I feel like I own that place, I have all the answers. Other days, I sit at my desk and wonder why on Earth they hired me and when they’ll come and give me the wave off so I can go home.

4) Friday was both. In the morning was my job interview for my new role, which I know I’m going to get (for them, it’s an airline food vs hospital food decision, and I’m the airline food AND the hospital food). But interviewing still sucks. I mean, do you have to wear a suit for an interview for a job that you’re 99.999% guaranteed to get? I thought the upside to the internal posting is not having to go for pomp, circumstance, sturm, drang and bullshit. Did they seriously have to get HR involved in this one? Couldn’t future boss S and future boss/God of Payroll D just taken me to Starbucks (or better yet, lunchtime drinks!) and skipped the stupid “Where do you want to be in three years?” line of questioning? I once again stated that my heart does not lead me to be a manager of people*. I couldn’t politely explain it’s because I hate meetings, authority and spreadsheets, because HR was in the room and I think those 3 things are how HR people are made. In three years, I want to doing this exact work. I just want to be 10,000 times better at it. I want to be a God of Payroll and S and D are the people to help me with this.

Anyway, and then this afternoon I ran a study group for colleagues taking a certification exam this season. My topic was on benefits – 401k, imputed fringe wages, relocation expenses, de minimis fringe benefits, etc. The only thing more boring than writing that last sentence was helping my colleagues study for an hour on this topic. What’s impressive (to me) is that I knew all the answers.

Sometimes, maybe I do have all the answers.

(* I instead said I wanted to be a manager of ideas. Note to self: Sometime in the next three years figure out what the fuck a manager of ideas is).


Posted on

This week has sucked.

1) Mehh! My coworker had a week plus a day off, forcing me to go rogue looking for help.

2) Grrrr. Client with a time clock problem and I’m useless to help (mostly due to issue #1 above). Have been avoiding his call for 2 days now, plus the prior 2 weeks. I’m an asshole.

3) Arrrrrrrgh. Last call of the day was another client whose client is having technical issues. “If it worked yesterday and didn’t work today, what changed?” “Nothing!” “Really?” “NOTHING, but I’ll call the client”. She calls the client, who reports that nothing changed but the offsite IT guy was changing something-or-other on their computers and denying them access to Pandora. That. Is. NOT. Nothing. The client’s IT guy jacked something up, please make him fix it.

4) I have entirely planned out the first 3 hours of my day tomorrow. Call client with security issues, call timeclock client (invent excuse for not calling sooner…laryngitis? temporary insanity? my usual “Oh my gosh! I thought we fixed that!”?), 401k files, team meeting, more 401k files, meeting with client with bizarre printing issue, more 401k files (why are so many people hell bent on investing in retirement?!!), make more insane phone calls that try to play off a lack of response in 6-8 weeks as no big deal, cross fingers that client (see #3 above) loses my number, teammates forget my name and management agrees that 6-8 weeks is really not bad.

5) The car refused to start this morning, so I had to call AAA for a jump or possibly a tow (only a jump was necessary, plus the driver gave me the amazing advice that I had a bad ground …?… which was causing a… oh, hell, I don’t know, a problem and thank you AAA!), then to the dealership to fix the whatever (plus an oil change, an inspection, and two bonus whatchamacalits because Cheesecake City Nissan knows we’re car stupid…after I write this I’ll go see if the new flux capacitor is shiny) and then to Enterprise for a loaner car and then to work all day and then a trip to put gas in the loaner car (am I the only one for whom putting gas in an unknown car is always amateur night on an Indy 500 pit crew? yes) and then to pick up the car while dropping off 85% of my paycheck with Cheesecake City Nissan. And then to pick up dinner, at which point I remembered I bought a Groupon for the car inspection and forgot all about it, dammit. And then home.

And when I got out of the car, the stupid thing shocked me. What. The. Hell? Ugh, the battery needs to last another month because I am out of Saturdays until then. (In this order, I will be occupied doing the following on Saturdays: Movies*. Vet’s office**. Massage***. Indiana+. Day after Birthday++. Parents visiting+++)

* Best Picture Showcase, films 5-9

** Wasn’t I just at the vet’s office? Why am I going there? Someone needs a something, I guess.



++ Ehh. I’ve got a coworker who’s delaying grad school a semester for her birthday. Speaking of WTF.

+++ YAY!!!!!

More random thoughts…

Posted on

1) Why do they even bother to make single stuf Oreo cookies? Who says “Gosh, I couldn’t eat all the frosting in the middle of a Double Stuf Oreo!”

2) I really worry that someday they’ll rename psoriasis “Kardashian disease.” Is it not bad enough that I have itchy flaky spots on my elbows, knees, HANDS, etc and get the “what the hell is wrong with you?” side-eye from the guy behind the counter at the fast casual Mexican restaurant? If the medical community pulls a Lou Gehrig’s Disease with this…ugh, I have got to figure out a way to become legitimately lifelong famous so I can be the most famous person on Earth with psoriasis. Maybe I’ll luck out and she’ll get the plague sometime instead.

And in better news…

1) Best Picture Showcase is coming up on the next two Saturdays! Movie nerd Paradise!

2) Still going to Indy right before my birthday!

3) My parents are coming to town in April! YAY!!! So so so excited.

4) Applied for a promotion at work. Is it possible all of my work dreams could come true?

Q: How many year-ends…

Posted on

Does it take for me to finally start sprouting gray hair?

A: 13. Thanks a lot, 2012!

Yes, I’m vain (as vain as a woman who owns neither makeup nor curling iron) but I have always been proud that I didn’t have any gray hairs yet. Imagine my shock when I found one peeking out amongst the brunette hairs. Unlike the other random white hairs I’ve found, this one was attached to me (usually I have dog hair all over me). It goes without saying that I tweezed it off my head quickly!

Now the question is, how long do I wait before calling the salon for an appointment for highlights? I haven’t colored my hair in years but it’s time to start it again. The mall opens today at 12, is today too early or should I wait until March?

Ugh, I’m oooooooooooold.


Posted on

1) Upgrade wardrobe – kind of done. I ordered a bunch of stuff from Lands End but I’m returning half of it. (new item on to-do list: Put together Lands End return) –done!

2) Upgrade cell phone new phone on the way – done!

3) Go to dentist – trying to get this scheduled. Dentist’s office is closed for lunch when I’m at lunch and by the time I think about calling again it’s either too late in the day or on Friday, when they are closed. Lucked out, made an appointment for tomorrow morning! Done!

4) Go to vet’s office done!

5) Go to Chiropractor forget it!

6) Order flea treatment goo for dogs done! (Thanks drugstore.com 15% off code!)

7) Order or otherwise procure tickets for Best Picture Showcase – done!

8) Order more Ambien (did you hear that someone, the FDA or someone, has cut the recommended dose of Ambien to 5 mg daily instead of 10? Who do I write to in protest?) – done

9) Shoes? – done x2! (new Danskos coming to the house this week, old shoes already in garbage!) (the other new shoes are a mega cute pair of copper wedges, perfect for casual Fridays)

10) Book travel for Indiana trip in March

11) Straighten out Bookmooch book list – done!

12) Read one more not terrible book before birthday

13) Request time off for parents’ visit in April. Figure out how to tell Gene about same (shhh).

14) Yell at Apple about yet another shredded power cable for laptop – done! (Thank you Wes @ Genius Bar)

15) Order birthday cake for my birthday

16) Arrange dog sitters for Best Picture Showcase

17) Schedule car detailing, oil change and inspection

18) Get new pants and red coat to someplace for alterations/repairs.


Posted on

As an aside, there’s a Stevie Nicks song whose lyrics include the word “phony”, spelled “phoney”. Hyper-critical me, even as a 14 year old, totally saw that in the CD liner notes, brushed the black tulle out of my face (don’t ask), and thought, “Stevie, please! There is no E in phony!”

(Actually, let’s go even further aside and discuss the hat, which looked a little like the hat on the cover of Stevie Nicks’s album Rock A Little but with a foot of black tulle protuding from the back. Saw it in a hat store at the mall back in 1992-ish, spent my Christmas money on it, was scared Mom would think I wasted my Christmas money, got it home, Mom thought it was the most badass hat in the history of millinery and to this day refers to it as a chapeau*. The hat has retired to either Indianapolis or the closet in my home office, but if it’s retired to Goodwill, that’s OK).

Anyway, bought a new cell phone because it “was time” (psst, it wasn’t quite time yet, don’t tell anyone). Have spent most of the last 24 hours trying to get all the saved phone numbers from old phone to new phone (next time, I will do this before activating the new phone). It actually rang while I was out picking up dinner tonight. AT&T has made it very difficult to answer a ringing phone while driving, but…not made it any harder to dial the phone while driving. I also haven’t bought a case for it yet so I’m considering keeping it in a Ziploc for right now or maybe just not using it yet, but it feels silly not to use it as I was all “I’ve been eligible for an upgrade for 3 hours let’s order a new phone for me RIGHT NOW!” but then again it will feel far far worse if I drop the damned thing. Shudder.

To-Do List Progress

Posted on

For my own self interest, here is my progress on the to-do list…

1) Upgrade wardrobe – kind of done. I ordered a bunch of stuff from Lands End but I’m returning half of it. (new item on to-do list: Put together Lands End return)

2) Upgrade cell phone new phone on the way

3) Go to dentist – trying to get this scheduled. Dentist’s office is closed for lunch when I’m at lunch and by the time I think about calling again it’s either too late in the day or on Friday, when they are closed.

4) Go to vet’s office done!

5) Go to Chiropractor

6) Order flea treatment goo for dogs

7) Order or otherwise procure tickets for Best Picture Showcase – done!

8) Order more Ambien (did you hear that someone, the FDA or someone, has cut the recommended dose of Ambien to 5 mg daily instead of 10? Who do I write to in protest?) – done

9) Shoes?

10) Book travel for Indiana trip in March

11) Straighten out Bookmooch book list – done!

12) Read one more not terrible book before birthday

13) Request time off for parents’ visit in April. Figure out how to tell Gene about same (shhh).

14) Yell at Apple about yet another shredded power cable for laptop

15) Order birthday cake for my birthday

Negative Girl…

Posted on

So, yesterday we finally got the dogs to the vet’s office to get them caught up on the various and sundry medical things that needed to be done.

(Speaking of which… I, LaineyD, solemnly swear to get my dogs to the vet’s office when they are actually due for things and not 1-3 months later).

1) All three dogs were due for the kennel cough vaccine (which is only a big deal if they were going to be boarded anytime soon, which they aren’t, so I felt OK about putting that one off).

2) Betty got her ear looked at finally, which makes me feel like a total asshole as she had not one but two kinds of ear infection. I knew she had an issue and I’d been cleaning her ears out at home every few days just biding my time until  I wasn’t working on a Saturday 🙁

3) Sadie got her heart worm bloodwork (as she came to us heartworm positive, she has to be tested every 6 months) and it was NEEEEEEEEEGGGGGGAAAATIVVVVE!!!!! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY. I won’t lie, I teared up right there in front of the vet (Dr. Babytalk), who looked at me like I was cuh-ray-zee until I reminded her that Sadie was heartworm positive as of the last time they’d tested her.

4) Sadie also has a spot on her hind leg that we wanted them to look at. Dr. Babytalk determined it is a lick granuloma. Basically, this is what happens when a dog licks at a spot frequently enough that it gets inflamed. Why do dogs do this? Anxiety. What a shock that Gene and I would have a dog with anxiety (Elaine types, while nibbling a finger)! The vet gave us some stuff to put around the spot to keep her from licking at it – it’s bitter apple flavored. So far, I think Sadie may like the flavor of bitter apple. Sigh.

5) And hooray, the vet bill came in way under what I was concerned it would! YAY. (It does kind of make all that stupid overtime worth it though!)

Renaming myself

Posted on

And I know this can be done because another blog I used to read, all of a sudden the blogger added a bio that said something like “Suzy Blogger, recently nicknamed Dreamy McSteamy, has been blogging about walnuts since 1997” and I was all “What the hell? YOU chose that nickname! You can’t nickname yourself! It’s like how you can’t throw your own bridal shower. This is bullshit!” and before you ask, I’ve been Lainey since I was a wee little pain in the ass and I’ve been LaineyD for ten years. You can’t give yourself a nickname. That shit is thrust. upon. you. (Preferably by your grandmother and a marriage license).

Anyway. I wasn’t really going anywhere with this, I just felt like venting about when people make up their own nicknames.