Well, that was silly

Posted on

Crazy shit I have done lately:

1) Posted 8 month old draft on blog for no conceivable reason

2) Lost my mind and good manners and was extremely rude to someone in a customer service position. (Seriously rude. And now I have to attend the Best Picture Showcase in disguise).

I’m blaming point #1 on being cracked out on Ambien. I really think that the zombies on the Walking Dead aren’t really zombies, they just took their Ambien and decided to go for a walk. Sooner or later they’ll get tired and wake up 8 hours feeling refreshed. We should all just be glad that they don’t have laptops or else who knows what crazy stuff they’d buy?

Point #2 is due to work stress. This has actually been the least stressful year end I’ve had during my career in payroll. In my old job, year end was an 11 on a 10 point scale for 3 months a year. In this job the entire year is a 7 on a 10 point scale. Some of it’s just ridiculous but none of it’s as ridiculous as it could be.


Dear Immune System…

Posted on

Dear My Immune System:

It’s December, so it’s time for me to make my annual reminder: There is no getting sick in December. There is altogether too much to do!

(Sidebar: People of Earth! Can we please move Christmas to July for real? I get that you want to decorate your house, your car, your kids, buy presents, take a week off, enjoy the snow, do the Elf on the Shelf thing and sing along to Debbie Gibson’s immortal version of Sleigh Ride but year end is on the way so this is seriously inconvenient).

Anyway. So no getting sick in December. I’m out of sick days anyway.

And none in January because that’s Year End.

February is absolutely a no go on illness because I need that month to catch up on the stuff that I didn’t get done in December and January.

March? Only if absolutely necessary. I have a week off scheduled but I really do not want to spend it sick.

Maybe April. Okay, immune system, you can wreak some havoc in April but only if my boss is in town and my robot coworker is around too.

And noooo, immune system, I will not do anything to make this easier. I got a flu shot what more do you want? I will not stay hydrated, I will not take vitamins, I will not get 8 hours of sleep. I will wash my hands frequently but that’s it.

Fight the good fight, immune system.


Breed All About It

Posted on

First things first: Gene has informed me that our next dog should be named Patrice, after the much maligned character on How I Met Your Mother. Considering that three dogs puts us above capacity, I assume that he will have forgotten this whim by the time we’re in the market for a new dog. (I also expect THAT to not happen for many years as Betty and Scooby are merely middle aged and have a lot of life in them).

Secondly, a month or so ago, the website Woot had a deal of the day for the Wisdom Panel Dog DNA kit. The exact item had been on my Amazon wish list for about a year but Woot’s price was about 40% cheaper than Amazon. Since we had to buy three I was eager to get it as cheaply as possible.

(And now that we know the results, I feel a little foolish about paying even the discount price. Not that swabbing your dog’s mouth doesn’t make you look like a jackass anyway, but I digress).

(#FirstWorldProblems)

Back in the day, when my Grandma M and I would talk about the dogs she would always say “And you have beagle hounds, right Elaine?” and I’d say Yes.

Anyway. The votes are in and we are zero for three in terms of “I wonder what breed the dogs are?”.

Scooby – Scooby was listed on Petfinder as a beagle mix and to look at him, I completely believed it. I was 1000% sure that the test results would say “Beagle and shepherd. Have you even looked at your dog before?”. So imagine my surprise when the results stated he’s a “Chihuahua, German Wirehaired Pointer, Pekingese, Shetland Sheepdog, Tibetan Spaniel Mix”. The best parts were the chihuahua and pekingese, which are purse dog breeds and Scooby is absolutely a 100-lb German Shepherd in the body of a 25-lb dog. He loves to tangle with big dogs.

Betty – Betty was also listed as a beagle mix, I think. To be honest, when I saw her on Petfinder I knew she was our dog and the description could have said she was a Pit bull mixed with killer bee and I still would have oohed and aahed and ponied up the $80 to bring her home. After 10-ish years of ownership, Gene and I have assumed beagle and corgi and Luis Guzman’s forehead. So again…imagine my surprise when the results say she’s a “Chow chow, Pomeranian, Rhodesian Ridgeback, Samoyed, Vizsla Mix”. In retrospect, the pomeranian and Chow Chow parts don’t surprise me as they look like exceptionally sheddy dogs but Rhodesian Ridgebacks and Vizslas are long legged and short haired. Betty is…umm, furry and longer haired and has the shortest legs and most adorable paws ever.

Sadie Pot Pie: Sadie has always been our big question mark. Even the pet rescuer we adopted her from politely dodged our breed questions with “Umm, there’s  lot of things in her!”. (The question was, “We think she looks a lot like our other girl dog, who we think is Beagle and Corgi”). We’ve posited a ton of theories about Sadie’s lineage but have mostly given up (“Sure, Corgi, golden retriever. Why not?”). So once again, imagine my surprise when the results came back to reveal: Beagle and Labrador Retriever. (And a lot of other things. At least half of her lineage is still listed as “Mixed Breed”, a/k/a who knows?).

So all in all, we thought we had a bepherd, a corgle and a whatever and it turns out we have a 25 lb purse dog, a 35 lb large breed dog and a 55 lb beagle. We have the melting pot of doggies and I maintain that all three of them can out badass anything at Westminster. Genetics are amazing things.


So, what else is going on?

Posted on

Hmm, apparently I started this post at least a week ago. Except, I thought I’d finished it and posted it. In reality, I only wrote the post title.

Whoops!

Anyway, things here at home are pretty good. Ups and downs but nothing that makes me want to load up the car and flee.

Today I replaced our clothes dryer. The old model wasn’t entirely broken or anything but it was definitely fading fast and I wanted to replace it to take advantage of a pretty good sale at Home Depot.

A week or two ago we replaced the HVAC in the house. Apparently 13 years is a pretty good lifespan for it.

Mentally trying to prepare for the party known as Year End. So far all I can think is “OMG why does year end keep happening??” My coworker pointed out that this year we didn’t really have the lull one expects after year end. That plus a very stressful summer leads me to feel that there’s just no respite. I have enough time in my time off bank to take a week off, but my other coworker is a robot and never takes time off so I don’t want to look bad in comparison. (It doesn’t help that kicks way more ass at work than I do).




Just write, just wrong

Posted on

“So what are you good at?” she asked me.

Almost without hesitation, I replied “I’m an excellent writer.”

A few minutes later, she asked me, “How would you feel if you’d been able to have a child?”

With hesitation, I told her that I thought I’d be a good Mom, but had reservations and have come to embrace childlessness. Mostly.

She said, “When you talk about writing, you light up, no shame, no sadness. Your homework this week is to write.”

It was an exhausting hour of therapy.


Restaurant Weak

Posted on

Remember when I used to post about each night of Restaurant Week on each night of Restaurant Week? Remember when we used to actually go to real restaurants each night and not take the slacker way out with carryout from pizza places and sandwich shops?

Yeah, me too.

Anyway.

Sunday: Pizza, carryout.

Monday: Sandwiches. Oh boy, a chicken salad sandwich from the place I eat a chicken salad sandwich 51 other weeks of the year? YAY.

Tuesday: Italian food at a restaurant two exits up the highway. I started with meatballs, Gene started with risotto balls. Ha ha, balls. Entrees: Gene had some kind of eggplant pasta thing (eew, eggplant?) and I had super yummy chicken with mashed potatoes, green beans, some kind of fabulous sauce and mushrooms. Dessert: I had a cannoli, Gene had tiramisu. Verdict: I win. We didn’t actually discuss an actual verdict but fuck it, this is my blog and I say that I won. Nyah-nyah.

Wednesday: Gene had to work, I got carryout and ate with a coworker at her house. Big fun but I’m preeeetty sure I overstayed my welcome. I won because my coworker gave me a nice glass of musca-something wine. Yum.

Thursday (today): dinner from a little burger joint known as McDonalds. No one wins, but I’m going to go nuke some  s’mores in a few minutes.

Tomorrow: either dinner at a steakhouse nearish my old office or Burger King or maybe carryout Thai.

Saturday: some restaurant down in the city

Sunday: ditto


Restaurant Week: Saturday

Posted on

So, Saturday we went to a restaurant down in the city. Very far in the city. Our house is 6-7 miles from the northernmost spot in the county; the restaurant was a few miles from the southernmost point in the county. The drive was 45 minutes each direction.

Starters: Gene had fried green tomatoes (hmm, if they are called green, why were the actual tomatoes red?) and I had fried potato salad. It wasn’t what you were thinking, but it was topped with a soft boiled egg. Poached egg? Shrug.

Entrees: Gene had bacon wrapped trout and I had meat loaf. Bacon wrapped anything is good but I thought my entree was better. Gene felt just the opposite.

Dessert: I had what I thought was chocolate cake but it was actually chocolate torte. Torte is delicious but I was really banking on something with some frosting. Gene had some sort of bread pudding. The third dessert option had no chocolate and was made of poundcake. It was notable because one of us thinks the other agreed to order it instead of chocolate cake, which is ridiculous because I agreed to that for starters not desserts. One of us is having an issue being rational and we are both having trouble making conversation.

Bottom Line: No one wins Saturday – the food was OK, the drive was stupid and the company was not in the mood to party. And Sunday we ordered pizza and ate at home. And today I picked up carry out dinner from a sandwich shop near the house. Tomorrow (Tuesday) we’re supposed to have reservations at an Italian place two exits up on the interstate. I don’t know what we’ll do.


The Longest Week

Posted on

So! Cheesecake City Restaurant Week has begun. We have tentatively scheduled a culinary adventure for every night between yesterday and next Sunday night. I say “tentatively” because we’ve given ourselves an out if work is too busy, too stressful, goes too late etc or if we’d rather just stay at home and eat pizza. Considering that we skipped Restaurant Week altogether in the winter this is definitely progress.

Last night we started the week at the Melting Pot. We’d recently gone there so it was interesting to compare the food and service during Restaurant Week against during the week. Bottom line, the food is always delicious (there’s a course entirely dedicated to cheese, what is not to love??) but during Restaurant Week we definitely felt rushed. Also our waiter was not as accommodating as the guy we had last time. I suspect that the staff is used to people getting the food off the Restaurant Week menu (I know a couple that splits a meal off the Restaurant Week menu. WTF?? Am I wrong to think that is really cheap?) so they don’t do a lot of extras that are always nice and add to the experience.

Anyway, we started with a mixed cheese with the usual bread, fruit and vegetables. Yummy. The the salad course. Then, blah blah blah entree of chicken, shrimp, beef. I described the vegetable portion of the entree as being the socks and underwear part of the meal because you eat it out of duty. Finally chocolate! We had the s’mores chocolate, with graham crackers and marshmallow fluff.

Typically we decide whose food was better at each restaurant but we ordered one of both entree options and tried everything so it is a tie.