Oh, my

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I just realized that one of my cousins is a grandmother (maybe more than one, I have some cousins I wouldn’t recognize if I were to see them). Granted, my mom is 49 years old the youngest of five children and the oldest of the grandchildren may be in their 50s but…Wow. The time, it flies. I’m just going to shuffle off and eat some soup now, don’t mind me.


Indiaaaaana, you old banana….

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So! I just got back from my visit to Indianapolis. I cannot even put into words how wonderful it was. I hadn’t been home in so, so long. A ridiculously long time. How did I go nearly 2 years without seeing my family in Indiana? And it wasn’t enough time, even though I could have crammed more activities into the days.

Friday, I worked all morning and then Gene took me to lunch at PF Changs and then to the airport. My original flight was delayed (due to weather?) and if I’d taken the flight from Cheesecake to NYC I would have been stuck for the night in NYC (which wouldn’t have been bad except for the whole no hotel reservation thing there) so Delta rerouted me through Minneapolis. (Wrong. Damn. -Apolis Delta!!). If the original flight was delayed due to weather I don’t know what they expected to find in Minnesota but it was snowing hard and blowing sideways.

Eventually, I made it to Indianapolis and figured out that my GPS from home was slightly outclassed by whatever-the-heck was done to the freeway. (Well, it was either my GPS or my natural ability to get lost driving places and I didn’t have any trouble getting to the airport this morning using the GPS…sooooo!!). And then I made it to my parents’ house. And my mom was all “YAY” and I was all “WOOHOO!” and I was home.


2012 Year in Review

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1. What did you do in 2012 that you’d never done before?

I attended the midnight premiere of a movie (The Hunger Games), I watched the Twilight movies (so bad, so very very bad), I ate and enjoyed avocado/guacamole and I watched many many episodes of Star Trek The Next Generation.

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
My 2012 resolutions were to read more books and worry less. I read more books, but I also re-read a lot of books. What is it about the Mumble Mumble Shades of Grey books that force me to re-read them compulsively? Seriously. It’s like a Merry-Go-Round that I can’t get the eff off of. My 2013 resolutions are to read better books from time to time, take more bubble baths, keep taking my meds, dress better and make it to Indiana at least once.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
One of my coworkers and a colleague on another team at work.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No. (I’m writing this on 11/21/12 and I hope this stays true for at least the next 40 days).

5. What countries did you visit?
None

7. What date from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

July 14, 2012, my 10th wedding anniversary.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

No one’s fired me from my most recent side-motion at work so I guess that’s a success. Inexplicable, too!

9. What was your biggest failure?
Ugh, I suck at returning phone calls at work. The number of times I say “I’ll call you right back!” does not equal the number of times I actually call someone back. Not by far.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nope. A pretty healthy year. Ooh I got LASIK!! YAY.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

My beautiful anniversary ring.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Gene’s. And Denise’s, for getting out of a crappy work situation and ending up in a very cool work situation (well, I think it’s cool but she may disagree). (Update: she disagrees. Sorry D).

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Someone’s ex-something. Puta estupida. (Same answer since at least 2008)

14. Where did most of your money go?
Doctors

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

I got really excited about my anniversary band

16. What song will always remind you of 2012?

“Some Nights” by Fun. I’m always so glad when it comes on the radio, even if I’ve just heard it a few minutes before (I have 6 preset stations in the car, about 1/2 play this song). I even looked up the video on YouTube, which is pretty rare for me.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder?

Happier I think. I honestly can’t tell you how much getting decent rest has improved my well being.

18. Thinner or fatter?

Bitch, please. Fatter. I am one pie away from looking like Honey Boo Boo’s mom.

19. Richer or poorer?
Grumble, grumble.

20. What do you wish you’d done more of?
I wish I’d traveled more. I want to go to Indiana, I want to go on a vacation, I want to stretch out in a chaise lounge on a beach somewhere and chill out.

21. What do you wish you’d done less of?
I wish I’d spent less time reading garbage, but as of right now one of my plans is to hang out here on the sofa and keep reading Fifty Shades of Mumble Mumble. (edited to say that I have now finished Fifty Shades of Mumble Mumble and now I’m not reading anything pretty much).

22. How will you be spending Christmas? Xmas 2012: at home, just Gene and I and the dogs. Christmas is on a Tuesday this year so, whatever.

23. Did you fall in love in 2012?

No

24. Any one night stands?

All new bedroom furniture someday, baby!

25. What was your favorite TV program?

Gossip Girl, Community, Revenge

26. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

No one new

27. What was the best book you read?

I read Fifty Shades of Mumble Mumble and the other books in the trilogy, the first two books that are supposed to be “The Next! Fifty! Shades!”, various Gossip Girl books, half of Gone Girl before I got bored and a half dozen Sweet Valley Twin short ebooks. It has not been a great literary year for me. I did, however, have a dream that solved the plot conundrum in the book I’m writing so maybe the best book I’ll read in 2013 will also be the book I’m writing.

28. What was your greatest musical discovery?

That Top 40 radio doesn’t always suck. I have also discovered that I really want to be able to use the iPod to play music in the car again.

29. What did you want and get?

My beautiful anniversary ring.

30. What did you want and not get?

The Louis Vuitton Madeleine PM handbag. If I hadn’t found my anniversary band, this handbag was my second choice. I found a bag a lot like it for about 1% of the LV’s price.

31. What was your favorite film of this year?

The Hunger Games

32. What did you do on your birthday? Took two days (!!!!) off work, saw The Hunger Games, went out for a fancy dinner, ate cake, went to the LASIK place, shopped at the Talbots outlet. Those were some fan-tabulous days off!

33. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

GETTING PREGNANT. My feelings about getting pregnant have receded over the last two years, but it never, ever goes away. This is the third year I’ve written this.

34. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2012?
“How to look terrible and remain upright” (on the bright side, I have thrown out a number of my random Old Navy tshirts, so maybe things will improve?)

35. What kept you sane?
Pharmacuetically speaking, Viibryd and Ambien. Recreationally speaking, Words With Friends Named Denise, SongPop, Sunday nights and Monday nights, Gossip Girl on Netflix, leaving the building on my lunch hour for some peace and quiet.

36. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Blah blah blah Henley c. 1991. I would still hit that if given the chance.

37. What political issue stirred you the most?
I’m glad for how the election went but I’m also worried that for all of the discussion about the Twinkie Bankruptcy and how someone’s going to buy the Twinkie formula no one’s mentioning the Hostess Cupcake. Whatever will become of the Hostess Cupcake??? Fix this, Mr. President!!

38. Who did you miss?
I miss the 27 year old I met in 1997.

39. Who was the best new person you met?

The lady at McDonald’s drive through. She is so nice to me.

40. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012:

Don’t stop taking your medication and mix with wine. But for fuck’s sake don’t drink too much at your office holiday party!

41. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

So this is it? I sold my soul for this?
Washed my hands of that* for this?
I miss my mom and dad for this?
-Fun “Some Nights”

* Okay, every lyric source I found on the internet has this lyric written this way but I’m still kind of convinced that he sings “Washed my hands of God for this?” which THEN worries me that I have been accidentally been exposed to Stealth Christian Music which is the worst kind of music because THEN I worry that people will be all “Mmm, listening to Christian music are we?”, all smugly like “HA I knew you wouldn’t be an atheist forever!” and THEN I have to be all “Umm, no, 100% atheist 4-eva” and then they’re “Ha ha, the singer said God so YOU just got back door converted!” and THEN I’m all grumble grumble and I hate that.


Foaming…

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Remember the situation I alluded to in my previous post? About how we got bad news and it made a sad situation worse? OMG, now it’s even worse. Incomparably, nauseatingly, shatteringly (is that a word? Spellcheck approved it, so…) worse. I don’t even know how to describe it, really I don’t. I need this to get better, I need this to go away.



25 lbs of owie

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So, I picked up Scooby briefly the other day. Gene thinks that’s how I hurt my back but I disagree. However, what the hell, he’s probably right. I still love picking up my Scooby-Doo, even if he currently smells like a petting zoo.

(Rhymes totally unintended)


20 years ago

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Yes, its time for another serving of Tales of Little LaineyD…
20 years ago, my mom and I went to see Fleetwood Mac perform in Indianapolis. Except for the shoes, I remember every stitch I had on. Before the show we had dinner at the restaurant attached to the venue, where we had the honor of hearing the roadies do the sound check.
I’ve always preferred Christine McVie, the Melanie to Stevie Nicks’s Scarlett O’Hara
(Did you see what I did there? It’s a Fleetwood Mac slash Gone With the Wind casserole, just for you).
(Ok, nevermind, it’s probably just a thing only a huge dweeb like me gets).
The concert was so awesome. I saw them again about 10 years ago and it was good but not as exciting. I think it was me, not them. Something like a concert is the biggest thing when you’re 14 and whacked out on hormones (and a little extra crazy besides).

Hmm. Wait a minute…I saw them in 1990, not 1991. Did I just lose an entire year?? LOL. Maybe my 4 days of pretending to be retired has given me early onset Alzheimers.


More Fox News

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Since we don’t have cable at home, I have really enjoyed watching tv at grandpa’s house. We watch a lot of Fox News (he’s old and there’s a law – do you know any 89 year olds who watch MSNBC? No, because there are none) and I have realized that all of the women on the channel have crazy eyes. Possibly due to Botox.

In other related news, grandpa calls Greta Van Susteren his girlfriend. I don’t care what happens but I’ll never call her grandma. I’ve debated telling him she’s a Scientologist but I’m not sure if I’m up for explaining why that’s bad or what that even is.

I will post more later when I make my triumphant return to Cheesecake City. Typing long words on a virtual keyboard is hard…do you know how many tries it took to get Susteren and Scientologist spelled right? A lot.

The good news is that I brought White Dog with me on this trip and Gene fixed Silver Dog. Then again, did he fix it by loading Windows 7 on it? Shudder.


A few words on journalism…

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So, I’ve been reading a bit about the News of the World scandal in the UK (that seems to be spreading to the US) and it just occurred to me…after all of this is over, do you think there will be room for ethical, decent journalists? Not liberal, not conservative, but interested in reporting stories properly? The way I was taught journalism back in college.

Yeah, I know, good luck right?


once in awhile…

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A few times a year I get an email from the photography company who takes the pictures of theme park guests, advertising some great new special. It includes a picture of the Boy and I, taken on a theme park day in (I think) 2007. I usually don’t even open the emails but today I decided to look.

In the picture, we’re both smiling but he’s leaning a good 45 degrees away from me. I think there’s some foreshadowing in that picture. Could I have ever kept him from no longer wanting to be in our lives? Probably not; no one is blameless for it but it was never about me anyway. Wondering about it is a waste of time.