So, that happened

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Much as predicted, we have a new furry member of the family. Literally, the same day I wrote the last post, we went to a small town near us to a non-no-kill shelter and adopted our new dog, Bourby. It hasn’t been the turnkey experience that I was hoping for, but so far things are moving along. I don’t think he’s bonded with Scooby or Sadie yet, but they all seem to get along okay. These things take time I guess.


New dog, maybe?

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So, I don’t know.

I’m thinking it may be time to add to the family. It’s been nearly 1 year since Betty passed away, so nearly 1 year since we moved to Texas. And what nicer way to cap off this (very good, very bad, very weird, all in one) year than by adopting a new dog?

That’s just it. I don’t know.

There are so many places to find the right dog. And it has to be the right dog, I’m on a 3 dog winning streak. And I don’t want to adopt the wrong dog.

(So often I do that – hem and haw and think about it and then buy the first shirt/shoe/sofa/house that I see)

(Proof: 3 wedding dresses. An impulse pair of ankle boots, eventually returned and transformed into two pairs, both of which I adore)

(Also: that stupid dryer in the NC house, bought during some sort of energy rebate weekend even though it didn’t qualify because no dryer qualified but hey! Dryer acquired!)

(Furthermore: every mobile phone I’ve ever purchased, ugh)

Here’s what I want in a prospective third (fourth) dog:

  1. Male – Scooby is too old to care, but Sadie’s younger and I think she would see a male as less competition. (Basically, I’m trying to prepare for a post-Scooby universe)
  2. Older – Ideally around 5 or 6. Still younger than Sadie (who is 7 or 8?) but not a puppy and not a full senior
  3. Not too large – 50 lbs maximum, but even someone Scooby’s size (25 lbs) would work. There are a ton of rescue chihuahuas here and I’m not interested in little dogs. There are also a ton of pit bulls (and other breeds like that) and I don’t want a dog I have to explain to the vet, the insurance company and the neighbors.
  4. Maybe from a not-no-kill shelter in my area.
  5. Gets along with Scooby and especially Sadie.

Basically, I want a turn-key dog.

We’ll see.

 


It’s All Over Now, Betty Boop

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So. The terrible awful thing that happened the day after we got to TX.

(Hideous Spoiler Alert: As of today, we only have two dogs now)

Anyway. Early in 2016, Betty was taking a long time to pee. I’d noticed it even in Cheesecake City but chalked it up to her being old. Eating like a champ, able to get up on the sofa, etc. Eventually, the groomer pointed out to me that Betty had peed a lot at the groomers and I realized that it wasn’t just old age.

The vet diagnosed her with a bladder infection and gave us antibiotics. Dutifully, we gave them to her. She began peeing in her kennel at night, and in the house at all times. We’d moved the dogs to my old office so the dining room could be a dining room again and the dog room smelled just terrible 🙁 Still drinking water like normal, still eating like a boss, still the most loving dog anywhere.

And we were days from moving to TX. A 20 hour drive, stretched over 3 days so the dogs wouldn’t be too uncomfortable.

Back to the vet’s on moving day. Infection not gone. More meds, stronger ones.

Moving day was freezing cold outside and we had to leave the dogs in the back yard while the movers were moving. Poor Booper was freezing cold and sick, huddled against the side of the house because it was out of the wind and a little warmer. My incredibly sick dog, just desperate to get a tiny bit warmer. I will never forget doing this to her.

The first day, we drove to Atlanta and stayed at an Embassy Suites. We gave them all they wanted to drink, and oh my Betty wanted to drink so much water. If I’d let her at the swimming pool, she would have dried it up. Just a few minutes later though, she forcibly ejected it all. We decided that she wasn’t keeping down the new antibiotics so we stopped giving them to her temporarily.

Her illness in Atlanta was repeated at our next stop. By our last stop in east Texas, I’d taken to holding her at night (despite the protests of Scooby and Sadie) and trying to decide what we needed to do. Finally, the day before we hit our new home town, I called a vet in the new town and begged for an appointment as early as possible the next day. Our poor little girl wasn’t getting any better. If we gave her water to drink, she drank with intensity only to get rid of it quickly.

At the hotel in the new home town, we arrived around noon, unloaded everything and then Gene took Betty to the new vet. I did not expect good news. I honestly didn’t even think she’d come “home” again, but she did. For the night.

Bladder cancer. My poor baby had bladder cancer, and there was nothing to be done. The massive tumor was blocking her bladder so none of the ocean of water she’d been drinking actually went anywhere, which is why she lost all of it. “You have the best dog, with the worst disease” the vet told us.

Dutifully we went back to the vet’s office to begin the process. They did the first shot and then the second shot. When dogs go to sleep like this, they don’t close their eyes. They just aren’t awake. And then that’s it.

We elected to have her cremated, with her ashes buried at a memorial park for animals here in Texas. We still have her collar and leash and her kennel. I desperately want a third dog again, but mostly I want my Booper back.


Breed All About It

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First things first: Gene has informed me that our next dog should be named Patrice, after the much maligned character on How I Met Your Mother. Considering that three dogs puts us above capacity, I assume that he will have forgotten this whim by the time we’re in the market for a new dog. (I also expect THAT to not happen for many years as Betty and Scooby are merely middle aged and have a lot of life in them).

Secondly, a month or so ago, the website Woot had a deal of the day for the Wisdom Panel Dog DNA kit. The exact item had been on my Amazon wish list for about a year but Woot’s price was about 40% cheaper than Amazon. Since we had to buy three I was eager to get it as cheaply as possible.

(And now that we know the results, I feel a little foolish about paying even the discount price. Not that swabbing your dog’s mouth doesn’t make you look like a jackass anyway, but I digress).

(#FirstWorldProblems)

Back in the day, when my Grandma M and I would talk about the dogs she would always say “And you have beagle hounds, right Elaine?” and I’d say Yes.

Anyway. The votes are in and we are zero for three in terms of “I wonder what breed the dogs are?”.

Scooby – Scooby was listed on Petfinder as a beagle mix and to look at him, I completely believed it. I was 1000% sure that the test results would say “Beagle and shepherd. Have you even looked at your dog before?”. So imagine my surprise when the results stated he’s a “Chihuahua, German Wirehaired Pointer, Pekingese, Shetland Sheepdog, Tibetan Spaniel Mix”. The best parts were the chihuahua and pekingese, which are purse dog breeds and Scooby is absolutely a 100-lb German Shepherd in the body of a 25-lb dog. He loves to tangle with big dogs.

Betty – Betty was also listed as a beagle mix, I think. To be honest, when I saw her on Petfinder I knew she was our dog and the description could have said she was a Pit bull mixed with killer bee and I still would have oohed and aahed and ponied up the $80 to bring her home. After 10-ish years of ownership, Gene and I have assumed beagle and corgi and Luis Guzman’s forehead. So again…imagine my surprise when the results say she’s a “Chow chow, Pomeranian, Rhodesian Ridgeback, Samoyed, Vizsla Mix”. In retrospect, the pomeranian and Chow Chow parts don’t surprise me as they look like exceptionally sheddy dogs but Rhodesian Ridgebacks and Vizslas are long legged and short haired. Betty is…umm, furry and longer haired and has the shortest legs and most adorable paws ever.

Sadie Pot Pie: Sadie has always been our big question mark. Even the pet rescuer we adopted her from politely dodged our breed questions with “Umm, there’s  lot of things in her!”. (The question was, “We think she looks a lot like our other girl dog, who we think is Beagle and Corgi”). We’ve posited a ton of theories about Sadie’s lineage but have mostly given up (“Sure, Corgi, golden retriever. Why not?”). So once again, imagine my surprise when the results came back to reveal: Beagle and Labrador Retriever. (And a lot of other things. At least half of her lineage is still listed as “Mixed Breed”, a/k/a who knows?).

So all in all, we thought we had a bepherd, a corgle and a whatever and it turns out we have a 25 lb purse dog, a 35 lb large breed dog and a 55 lb beagle. We have the melting pot of doggies and I maintain that all three of them can out badass anything at Westminster. Genetics are amazing things.


Pyle

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So, a week or so ago I had a dream that my mom gave us a dog. It was a dachshund/yorkie mix (a dorkie). I was upset because I didn’t really want a fourth dog and if we got one I wanted a corgi (which is true, I want a corgi so bad!). And as I woke up, I was trying to decide what to name this Dorkie Dog and came up with Pyle, in honor of Ernie Pyle.

 


Negative Girl…

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So, yesterday we finally got the dogs to the vet’s office to get them caught up on the various and sundry medical things that needed to be done.

(Speaking of which… I, LaineyD, solemnly swear to get my dogs to the vet’s office when they are actually due for things and not 1-3 months later).

1) All three dogs were due for the kennel cough vaccine (which is only a big deal if they were going to be boarded anytime soon, which they aren’t, so I felt OK about putting that one off).

2) Betty got her ear looked at finally, which makes me feel like a total asshole as she had not one but two kinds of ear infection. I knew she had an issue and I’d been cleaning her ears out at home every few days just biding my time until  I wasn’t working on a Saturday 🙁

3) Sadie got her heart worm bloodwork (as she came to us heartworm positive, she has to be tested every 6 months) and it was NEEEEEEEEEGGGGGGAAAATIVVVVE!!!!! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY. I won’t lie, I teared up right there in front of the vet (Dr. Babytalk), who looked at me like I was cuh-ray-zee until I reminded her that Sadie was heartworm positive as of the last time they’d tested her.

4) Sadie also has a spot on her hind leg that we wanted them to look at. Dr. Babytalk determined it is a lick granuloma. Basically, this is what happens when a dog licks at a spot frequently enough that it gets inflamed. Why do dogs do this? Anxiety. What a shock that Gene and I would have a dog with anxiety (Elaine types, while nibbling a finger)! The vet gave us some stuff to put around the spot to keep her from licking at it – it’s bitter apple flavored. So far, I think Sadie may like the flavor of bitter apple. Sigh.

5) And hooray, the vet bill came in way under what I was concerned it would! YAY. (It does kind of make all that stupid overtime worth it though!)


2012 Year in Review

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1. What did you do in 2012 that you’d never done before?

I attended the midnight premiere of a movie (The Hunger Games), I watched the Twilight movies (so bad, so very very bad), I ate and enjoyed avocado/guacamole and I watched many many episodes of Star Trek The Next Generation.

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
My 2012 resolutions were to read more books and worry less. I read more books, but I also re-read a lot of books. What is it about the Mumble Mumble Shades of Grey books that force me to re-read them compulsively? Seriously. It’s like a Merry-Go-Round that I can’t get the eff off of. My 2013 resolutions are to read better books from time to time, take more bubble baths, keep taking my meds, dress better and make it to Indiana at least once.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
One of my coworkers and a colleague on another team at work.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No. (I’m writing this on 11/21/12 and I hope this stays true for at least the next 40 days).

5. What countries did you visit?
None

7. What date from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

July 14, 2012, my 10th wedding anniversary.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

No one’s fired me from my most recent side-motion at work so I guess that’s a success. Inexplicable, too!

9. What was your biggest failure?
Ugh, I suck at returning phone calls at work. The number of times I say “I’ll call you right back!” does not equal the number of times I actually call someone back. Not by far.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nope. A pretty healthy year. Ooh I got LASIK!! YAY.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

My beautiful anniversary ring.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Gene’s. And Denise’s, for getting out of a crappy work situation and ending up in a very cool work situation (well, I think it’s cool but she may disagree). (Update: she disagrees. Sorry D).

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Someone’s ex-something. Puta estupida. (Same answer since at least 2008)

14. Where did most of your money go?
Doctors

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

I got really excited about my anniversary band

16. What song will always remind you of 2012?

“Some Nights” by Fun. I’m always so glad when it comes on the radio, even if I’ve just heard it a few minutes before (I have 6 preset stations in the car, about 1/2 play this song). I even looked up the video on YouTube, which is pretty rare for me.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder?

Happier I think. I honestly can’t tell you how much getting decent rest has improved my well being.

18. Thinner or fatter?

Bitch, please. Fatter. I am one pie away from looking like Honey Boo Boo’s mom.

19. Richer or poorer?
Grumble, grumble.

20. What do you wish you’d done more of?
I wish I’d traveled more. I want to go to Indiana, I want to go on a vacation, I want to stretch out in a chaise lounge on a beach somewhere and chill out.

21. What do you wish you’d done less of?
I wish I’d spent less time reading garbage, but as of right now one of my plans is to hang out here on the sofa and keep reading Fifty Shades of Mumble Mumble. (edited to say that I have now finished Fifty Shades of Mumble Mumble and now I’m not reading anything pretty much).

22. How will you be spending Christmas? Xmas 2012: at home, just Gene and I and the dogs. Christmas is on a Tuesday this year so, whatever.

23. Did you fall in love in 2012?

No

24. Any one night stands?

All new bedroom furniture someday, baby!

25. What was your favorite TV program?

Gossip Girl, Community, Revenge

26. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

No one new

27. What was the best book you read?

I read Fifty Shades of Mumble Mumble and the other books in the trilogy, the first two books that are supposed to be “The Next! Fifty! Shades!”, various Gossip Girl books, half of Gone Girl before I got bored and a half dozen Sweet Valley Twin short ebooks. It has not been a great literary year for me. I did, however, have a dream that solved the plot conundrum in the book I’m writing so maybe the best book I’ll read in 2013 will also be the book I’m writing.

28. What was your greatest musical discovery?

That Top 40 radio doesn’t always suck. I have also discovered that I really want to be able to use the iPod to play music in the car again.

29. What did you want and get?

My beautiful anniversary ring.

30. What did you want and not get?

The Louis Vuitton Madeleine PM handbag. If I hadn’t found my anniversary band, this handbag was my second choice. I found a bag a lot like it for about 1% of the LV’s price.

31. What was your favorite film of this year?

The Hunger Games

32. What did you do on your birthday? Took two days (!!!!) off work, saw The Hunger Games, went out for a fancy dinner, ate cake, went to the LASIK place, shopped at the Talbots outlet. Those were some fan-tabulous days off!

33. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

GETTING PREGNANT. My feelings about getting pregnant have receded over the last two years, but it never, ever goes away. This is the third year I’ve written this.

34. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2012?
“How to look terrible and remain upright” (on the bright side, I have thrown out a number of my random Old Navy tshirts, so maybe things will improve?)

35. What kept you sane?
Pharmacuetically speaking, Viibryd and Ambien. Recreationally speaking, Words With Friends Named Denise, SongPop, Sunday nights and Monday nights, Gossip Girl on Netflix, leaving the building on my lunch hour for some peace and quiet.

36. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Blah blah blah Henley c. 1991. I would still hit that if given the chance.

37. What political issue stirred you the most?
I’m glad for how the election went but I’m also worried that for all of the discussion about the Twinkie Bankruptcy and how someone’s going to buy the Twinkie formula no one’s mentioning the Hostess Cupcake. Whatever will become of the Hostess Cupcake??? Fix this, Mr. President!!

38. Who did you miss?
I miss the 27 year old I met in 1997.

39. Who was the best new person you met?

The lady at McDonald’s drive through. She is so nice to me.

40. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012:

Don’t stop taking your medication and mix with wine. But for fuck’s sake don’t drink too much at your office holiday party!

41. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

So this is it? I sold my soul for this?
Washed my hands of that* for this?
I miss my mom and dad for this?
-Fun “Some Nights”

* Okay, every lyric source I found on the internet has this lyric written this way but I’m still kind of convinced that he sings “Washed my hands of God for this?” which THEN worries me that I have been accidentally been exposed to Stealth Christian Music which is the worst kind of music because THEN I worry that people will be all “Mmm, listening to Christian music are we?”, all smugly like “HA I knew you wouldn’t be an atheist forever!” and THEN I have to be all “Umm, no, 100% atheist 4-eva” and then they’re “Ha ha, the singer said God so YOU just got back door converted!” and THEN I’m all grumble grumble and I hate that.


Hack, hack, hack….

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Sadie’s been coughing a lot this week. I feel like it’s time to take her to the vet’s office. They will probably recommend doing another round of ‘fast kill’ to try and get rid of whatever heart worms are in her lungs still. I’m going to push hard to do this – maybe after vacation so she can be kept relaxed at home. She just seems so woebegone, yet intermittently energetic. I’d like to go find her previous owners and break their ankles for neglecting her medical care so badly and letting her have at least one litter of puppies. She’s such a sweet, loving puppy and she deserves so much better.


Easter 2013 is Also Cancelled…

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(Skip if you’re squeamish, this is unbelievably gross).

Remember last April when I post that April 2012 was cancelled because my dog killed the Easter Bunny?

AIEEEEEEEEE.

In other news, guess what happened this morning?

I guess this explains why we had such a hard time getting Betty to come in the house, despite the rain. (Technically, I think both girls had a paw in this one, so to speak).

EEEEEW.


Yuck…just, yuck

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Tonight, after dinner, I sat in the backyard and relaxed with the dogs. While outside, two things happened:

1) I saw two of my dogs eat something I’ve heard of dogs eating but I’ve never seen MY dogs eat. Eeeeeewwww.

2) A wooly worm landed on my shoulder. Aaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeee.

In other important news, Bob Evans still has sliced mush on the menu. I apologize for the incorrect information. Mush fans, please resume eating at Bob Evans.

That is all.

(Actually, PS: Sunglasses are awesome).