Lazy AND crazy…

Not really in the mood to ‘blog tonight. Gene’s back in ATL through Thursday evening. We become the proud owners of a new car Friday. It’s all so anti-climatic…last time (when I bought my car) it was more like a beauty pageant and less like an arranged marriage.

At work today, I asked my old boss for some payroll advice. I got an answer and soon after I was pulling something off the printer when I noticed my new boss was reading a long email from Old Boss about me, titled “Questions from Elaine” or something. I’m not really sure but I think it pissed her off that I came to her (the HR director with years of experience) instead of New Boss (Elevated Accts. Payable clerk who seems to think I have a clue). It really, really broke my heart that Old Boss would do that. I don’t really understand what I did wrong and since no one has spoken to me about any of it, I guess nothing will come of it. Unfortunately, new boss’s desk is highly visible and I would definitely be noticed snooping. (Or snooping again, anyway. Why am I so nosy?). I really wish I had some prospects for other companies. I feel like I have squandered nearly 5 years of my life at this company. I AM NOT A BAD PERSON. I AM NOT EVEN A BAD EMPLOYEE. IT IS NOT MY FAULT THAT YOU STRUNG THE NEW HR GIRL ALONG SO LONG SHE DECIDED TO BOLT BEFORE SHE EVEN STARTED SO NOW YOU HAVE TOO MUCH TO DO. DO NOT MAKE ME YOUR SCAPEGOAT, DAMN YOU. IN ADDITION, I AM NOT YOUR WHIPPING GIRL SO BUGGER THE HELL OFF.

Ooh, typing in all caps is even more cathartic than Stupid Elaine haiku.

BTW, I know we’re doing the right thing about the car because I called the dealership today and was put on hold — the hold music was Steely Dan — NEW(ish) SD. I couldn’t identify what song it was, but let’s just say it’s this one: Janie Runaway, since that’s the song I like best on that album. Anyway, I think it’s probably destiny. (In my youth, I only bought CD holders where the case had pictures of CDs I already owned…whatanerd).

Elsewhere on the Internet…

I’m currently #1 in WordRounds (with double hundreds, even…):

Current Round: 1236
#1 Laineyd 100% in 46.358 s.
#2 Snowman20 90% in 36.630 s.
#3 Froggi999 80% in 60.954 s.
#4 Shearstyle 80% in 113.389 s.
Minutes Until Round 1237
Here are your results for Round 1236:
Attempt #1 of 2:
63.266 seconds
Attempt #2 of 2:
46.358 seconds*

actually, I may no longer be #1 for the round…I haven’t hit refresh until I could immortalize this moment in ‘blog (and I’m also trying to print the screen)

Hello, world…

I really liked that Simpsons quote where Bart tells Homer that he preferred Homer’s half ass underparenting to his half-assed overparenting. Ha ha ha. Been reading a lot of kick ass mommy blogs (I especially like – she is hysterical), all of whom are commenting about the book excerpted in Newsweek about loony over parenting type mommies. Appears I’m damned no matter what I do (when the time comes. Everyone already knows that over-dog-parenting is just sad).

Really feeling too lazy to blog tonight. Sploofus is still a lot of fun. I went from being #5 among the Level One folks to being #Whothehellknows among the Level 2 folks. I think I have to score another 20,000 points before I get on the leader board. Boo. That’s what I get for knowing the answer to today’s question of the day (What state is Madonna from? Geez. I was very nearly born knowing she’s from Michigan).

Speaking of the dogs…I was on my way back from lunch yesterday when I saw a dog trotting around a parking lot. I wasn’t driving, but I damn near made the person driving (my boss) stop. If it had been me driving, we’d have 3 dogs now. I stopped in at the pet store near this place after work to see if they’d seen the dog. They had the dog, actually. They’d given him 3 baths (3?) and the person who brought him to the pet store (rescued him, so to speak) was supposed to call for him and pick him up. I hope all’s well. I’m tempted to call over there and make sure he found a home. If this were to happen, I’d want to name the dog either Kyoto or Monty (after the two restaurants in the shopping center, Kyoto Japanese Cuisine and Monterrey Mexican Restaurant).

I think we’ve finally figured out what we’re doing about replacing the Taurus. (For those not in the know, the ‘buy new car soon’ light is on). I think we’re going to buy either a 2004 or 2005 Infiniti G35. I know, we’re suuuuuch yuppies. I hate car shopping. All of a sudden, when it’s dealing time, the nicey-nice stuff is gone and the jokey salesperson turns into a demon. Ick. The salesperson yesterday even suggested we write a check for the downpayment and let them keep it in their safe until the money’s there. Ummmmmmm…. and what happens if something happens and the money ISN’T there? Uck, I hate car shopping.

Hey, guess I felt like blogging after all.

Oh, goody…

Today wasn’t a bad day. Technical issues processing payroll are basically expected anymore. I have a new computer at work so I — yippee! — get to map to my printers, type up a .sig line for email and find all the little kinks and let our IT dope know about them.

Such as that my email didn’t work. Told IT dope this. “Yes, it does. I had your email up yesterday”. So I reboot and try it again. “I really don’t think it’s working,” I voicemail the guy.

HA! Victory is mine (the price of victory is just too much to think of right now). Something is all screwed up with my profile. Seems to me the problem is with the fucking idiot in IT.

Anyway. Get home, step on Scooby’s paw (He’s fine). Gene calls for me from his home office. “Don’t freak out, but Scooby got loose.” Despite the fact that we have a 5 foot fence, somehow this freaking beagle got out of it. I walked the fence after this, and I don’t see any possible way for this to have happened. Then he tries to do it again. Our fence has half-moon dips, and one is over our HVAC unit (on the opposite side of the fence). My theory is that that is how Scoob did it – heck, he didn’t even have to fall too far on the other side. My theory as to motive is simple: both neighbors on one side of us have big dogs tied out in the yard and Scooby loves to play with big dogs. Our next door neighbor (the one I bitch about so much for ignoring her own dog) got Scooby – he went right to her.

Rotten beagle. He didn’t successfully jump it again because both of us yelled “NO” and I rush over there and yell and point and whack the hell out of him. He cowers for awhile. Gene thinks that will be the end of it, but I just don’t know. I really worry that it’ll take a few more whacks to get the point across and what if I’m not here? Gene doesn’t run as fast as I do, and we all know I’m no Olympian.

And that’s the party, party people…

I cancelled AOL this evening. It was quite a feat. I’ve still got my AOL screenames through March 14. I thought my billing day was the 23rd. Oh, whatever. So you call AOL to cancel and you go through all these voice prompts and THEN you have to talk to a person. In my case, it was someone in their foreign call center who’d never heard of why I wanted to cancel AOL. (“You watch the news? We have the news on AOL…” “NO, NewsGROUPS! Like messageboards”). He dropped the monthly fee to $9.95. No go. He tried to give me a free month and THEN I could cancel. “I’d have to call BACK to cancel?” “Yes” “Just cancel me NOW”.

Yes, I was quite the biotch.

So now I’m on my way to being a former AOL-er…and I’m just stunned, folks. I really love my screename (Cynarae -was Cynara, has also been Fleetmac, Clamfeet, Hooch Du Jour, MaddstCow) and I never, ever thought I’d ever cancel AOL. It hasn’t always been great, but it’s always been home. And we all know how much I love change. I want it all back like it was, dammit. Dammit, dammit, dammit.

more poaching from other blogs…

1. What time did you get up this morning? A sore subject; I was up at 3 something until 5 something (watched Whose Wedding is it Anyway and an episode of Passport to Europe). Woke up for good somewhere after 9, before 10. Mmm.
2. Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds. Pearls when I’m older
3 What was the last film you saw at the cinema? In Good Company
4. What is your favorite TV show? Don’t tell, but I love the episodes of Daria that I’ve PVR’d on Noggin. Also South Park.
5. What did you have for breakfast? Breakfast? Slim Fast bar
6. What is your middle name? I was born Ruth Elaine, ditched Ruth when I got married, now I’m Elaine (maiden name) (married last name)
7. What is your favorite cuisine? I had awesome sushi for lunch today
8. What foods do you dislike? Fucked up southern food (grits, deep fried okra, etc)
9. What is your favorite chip flavor? I don’t usually eat potato chips, but I will gladly lick all the salt off an entire tube of Pringles. (Yeah, I usually eat them once I’ve disposed of the salt)
10. What is your favorite CD at the moment? I have absolutely no idea. The IPod is ruining me.
11. What type of car do you drive? ’99 Ford Contour. Did you know that it was in a wreck before I bought it? Me neither.
12. Favorite sandwich? Chicken? No! Peanut Butter and bananas.
13. What characteristic do you despise? Imperfection (in self). No, you’re fine.
14. Favorite item of clothing? My awesome Coach purse. It cost enough, but it’s lasted since Valentine’s Day 2000 (bought it myself, though) and it’s continued to last.
15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Wherever Samantha on Passport to Europe is. She looks like she has so much fun! And the French didn’t even kick her ass for trying to speak the language!
16. What color is your bathroom? Cream walls
17. Favorite brand of clothing? Levi’s jeans, Nike sneakers, rock concert tour Tshirts.
18. Where would you retire to? Eehhh, wherever. Gene wants to buy an RV when we retire. Um, no.
19. Favorite time of the day? Anytime I get to sleep!
20. What was your most memorable birthday? 21st birthday sucked (Vegas), 22nd was fun (Chinese food with Tracy, ended with us trying to do cartwheels in the courtyard of our apartment building), 23rd was great (San Diego), 24th was very cool (in Indiana), 25th-27th were blurs. I think I took the day off for my 27th and we went to go see…that Jim Carrey movie.
21. Where were you born? Indianapolis (again, I’ll break your jaw if you call it India-no-place), in the great state of Indiana.
22. Favorite sport to watch on TV? Dog show.
23. Who do you least expect to send this back to you? No one, i’m not sending it to anyone.
24. Who do you think will send this back first? Same as above.
25. What fabric detergent do you use? Tide and some fancy stuff from Nordies for delicate items.
26. Coke or Pepsi? Pepsi. with grenadine.
27. Are you a morning person or a night owl? I used to be a night owl, but now I’m never really all that peppy.
28. What is your shoe size? 7.5
29. Do you have any pets? The world’s cutest beagles, Scooby and Betty.
30. Any good news you would like to share with family or friends? Nope!
31. What did you want to be when you were little? A teacher, a comic strip writer, a singer,
32. What are you meant to be doing now? Not this, lemme tell ya.
33. Which of the following could you live without if you had to choose- Sweet, sour, salty, spicy? Salty. I really don’t like salt. I don’t salt most foods. When I crave salt, I end up eating sushi because the soy sauce is so delicious.

what a loony…

I should apologize to the girl at work who was looking forward to a Keanu Reeves movie.

Well, maybe not, but now I can empathize. On (wait for it…), one of the things I can do is play WordRounds, which is like the hardest questions ever, like on the verbal portion of the SAT. I mean, the first time I played WordRounds, I thought that it was the weirdest, most random thing ever. Anyway. there is a new round every hour or so and I can play twice per round (two different sets of 10 questions).

And I, who often calls a dish washer the washing machine and once told Gene there were two moons (and that was BEFORE he married me), just scored 100% on both rounds. In fact, I’m going to cut and paste it here because it’ll never happen again:

Here are your results for Round 1076:
Attempt #1 of 2:
54.386 seconds
Attempt #2 of 2:
64.785 seconds

I mean, REALLY!

PS: If you’ve never heard the two moons story, just ask. It’s pretty funny.

PPS: Even with 100%, I’m still only in 5th place for this wordround, which ends in (hits refresh) 32 minutes. Maybe there will be a power outage where all the smart people live. I think the highest I’ve scored so far is 11th. I’m fairly certain I’ve never been Top Ten before.

Continued progress…

I’m now at 1710 points from the quizzes I created. Yippee! I’m also #338 for the month of February. My goal is now to be in the top 10% for February and stay in the top half for all-time ranking.

But all this quiz nonsense has been at the price of getting a lot of other things done. Like posting in my blog, cleaning the house, watching movies, hanging with the hounds, reading anything…

Scooby came back from Barkin Buddies the other day with a bite mark on his face. It wasn’t bleeding and it didn’t look too bad, so I’m going to take a wait and see attitude toward the thing. I think it’s healing and maybe that’ll teach Scoob to play with dogs that weigh over 100 pounds.

Gene’s home now and I’m really glad. He got home about 9 on Thursday. I missed him and I hope I’ve been nicer to him than the PMS monster he left before he went to VA. The latest is that he may have to go somewhere at the end of February for a few days.

We watched Harold and Kumar go to White Castle last night. It was one of the movies I rented last weekend. I made sure to get the unrated version and it was freaking hysterical. Doogie Howser was in it as…himself, stoned on X. Ha ha ha. Even the screenshots when you load the DVD into the player were hysterical.

Gene’s game on tonight. I really, really, REALLY have to watch The Terminal and Raising Helen before noon Sunday so I can return the movies without late fees. (Yeah, I know. Blockbuster doesn’t have late fees). You’d think I’d be all over Raising Helen…yummy John Corbett is in it. Mmmmm. He’s who I picture for the male lead in the movie version of my novel. Let me say again, Mmmmmmm. One of the girls at work met him at some meet and greet thing back when he was on Northern Exposure. She even has a picture. Mmmmmm.

Another of the acctg girls said that she was going to go see Constantine because, “Keanu’s in it and he’ll make it good.” WTF? I had no idea anyone on the planet felt that way. Wow. A shock to my system.