I Ain’t Got Nobody!

Posted on

Gene’s in VA.
Dogs are at the kennel.
CAR is still in shop.

So, internet, it’s just you, me and the Altima. I take back my earlier dismissal of the Altima. While I’m still relieved I didn’t buy one, it’s kind of fun to drive a car with a little pep. The Murano is too big and heavy and unwieldy to do anything really silly, but the Altima makes acceleration fun.

I did tell you that I told D the other day that I wouldn’t mind driving something lower to the ground, right?

I am a damn liar! Maybe it’s just that the # of SUVs in Cheesecake City has tripled since I got the Murano, but I feel like I’m driving a Big Wheel around town. I can’t imagine what the people who switch their H2s for their 911s feel when summer comes. Wow. (Actually, they usually switch into their Boxsters, which is a shame as the Boxster is super fugly).

Mmm, did you click on that 911 link? Excuse me while I compose myself. Gene said that if I’d skip the whole Plan B thing he’d buy me one. Ha. I guess we’d go from Plan B to Plan P (for Prostitute, which is the job I’d have to moonlight with as I hear the oil changes on those puppies cost around $500). He said this awhile ago – definitely before we bought OR sold the M! He’s on board the Plan B thing now. I mean, did you see the part where he sold his car so we could pay off our bills so I can fucking quit my crappy job and stay home?

(Actually, no, you didn’t, because I don’t think I mentioned it. Suffice it to say that the M is no longer ours and everytime I see one I am compelled to shout the F word. The upside is that we’ve paid off one credit card, we’re close to paying off the other one and then we pay off the Murano and then we save up and pay off my 401k loan and then…then, I get knocked up.)

Mmmm, one more look at the 911…

Movie Reviews

Posted on

1) Brokeback Mountain : ***1/2 out of 4. I enjoyed it very much. I was impressed at how quiet and spare it was. There were a lot of gay cowboy jokes out there because of the movie. It was the point of the movie, but I didn’t feel it was especially overstated. Effing A, it was an R-rated movie, not a gay porno. I did find it a little hard to believe Jake Gyllenhall or Heath Ledger as cowboys and frankly, the topless scene with the Princess Diaries girl was just trippy.
2) Capote: ***1/2. Another good movie. We saw this one today. I really like Phillip Seymour Hoffman and Catherine Keener. I’d heard enough Truman Capote imitations to not be surprised by the voice. I’d read an article in Vanity Fair a few months ago about the time when he wrote In Cold Blood. I wish I still had that issue so I could re-read it. Great performances all around. I present this one as the Oscar alternative.

We’re hoping to see Good Night and Good Luck tomorrow. If we manage that, then at least one of us will have seen every Best Picture nominee this year except Crash. Gene saw Munich one day while I was at work. Scrolling through the nominees for this year’s Oscars, it looks like we’ll have done well this year. The exception looks like Best Actress, but at least we saw Walk the Line, which was very good. Everyone says that she’s the front runner this year.

So, on the topic of Plan B…

Posted on

Gene and I were talking yesterday night and he said the most surprising thing: He said that he had thought about eliminating the rest of the waiting time to start the whole Plan B thing (mekkin’ zee bebbies). He admitted that his motivations were the absolute worst: he was hoping that Plan B would come to fruition before his mother passes away. I’d had the same idea but dismissed it because my motivations were wrong, too. I think that if we were guaranteed that she’d get to meet Plan B it would be worth it, but there are no guarantees. I mean, anything can happen but windows are closing as well.

While I’m mentioning MIL, there’s nothing new on that front. I believe she has an appointment this coming week with a primo cancer clinic. Hopefully they will be more aware of treatments and possibilities in her case.

Hell on Earth…

Posted on

This morning I had a dream I was auditioning for American Idol and I forgot the words and titles of every song I know. I don’t know what’s worse, the auditioning for AI part or the forgetting the words part. I don’t even watch the show and have a dislike that reaches violent by the end of each season. (If we’re all so damned critical of musicians here lately, then please explain the Simpson girls careers?)

Speaking of, my car is in the shop. Wahhhh. They gave me a loaner car, which is a Nissan Altima. I am so glad I didn’t cheap out and buy one. The Murano is a freaking Porsche compared to this hunk of shit. My car’s problem is that it doesn’t always start. I took it in today for an oil change and an annual inspection and they FINALLY couldn’t get it to start. It’s been there twice for this problem and they think we’re crackwhores (dirty ones?) because they couldn’t replicate it. Wahoo! So, they’re working on it. The car is still covered by the bumper to bumper warranty so really the timing is good. I don’t know when I’ll get my car back. It’s after 4 now so I guess things are looking a little dim.

Stupid Things I’ve Done Today…

Posted on

Actually, it’s a stupid thing I did yesterday. It was so mortifying that I actually couldn’t talk about it at all yesterday. When I fuck up, I fuck up and when I fuck up to the point where I actually feel guilty or embarassed or whatever, it goes like this: “Oh FUCK I shouldn’t have done that can I please go play in traffic/run away from home/quit my job/go back to bed/die?” And when it floats back up to the top of my conscious (and when you spend so much time doing trained monkey crap at work, you have a lot of time to think) it feels white hot painful and the cycle starts anew.

Life is a lot better for me when I fuck up and can blame it on someone else. Don’t think I haven’t tried. I’ve tried to spin this one, tried to play it off, tried to forget all about it, thought about apologizing, thought about ack! White hot pain! I think the only answer is to (sigh) own up to my fuck up and apologize to the person I’ve upset.

So, here’s the basics: My grandmother died of the same thing that Blanche will (Grandma died in 1989, when I was 12). I asked my grandfather about it and I think it really bothered him. The only thing else it could have been was that he was upset that I was upset, but I think that’s just blame shifting because this is my fuck up. It was stupid stupid stupid to even have the conversation. It seemed like a good idea (on what fucking planet??) but it was a horrible, awful, terrible no-good idea. When it finally penetrated my dumb-ass skull, the horribleness of the idea, I just couldn’t talk anymore and I think I apologized to him and told him I was sorry I asked. I will have to call back soon and apologize to Grandpa and his wife Sally. I hope I didn’t cause havoc but I think I probably did.

I had called Grandpa while I was on the road home from work and when I got home I eventually told Gene. He’s a fixer kinda guy and just wanted me to be happy again. He took a problem call last evening and I finally just told him, “You know how you fixed that? You can’t fix this.” I have to fix this. I want to make my Grandfather feel better and I want to make myself feel better. That crushing feeling has just got to go.

I think…

Posted on

I may ask for a year of Typepad for my birthday. Their basic service is $50 a year. My concern is that there’s no way to transfer all of my Blogger posts over to a new site. If Blogger would only let me catagorize (and imagine the catagories! “Stupid posts about dogs” “Mahjobiscrappis” “Family Stuff” “Baby Mania”, etc) I’d totally stay. And you know what else? I’d even pay for the priviledge.

Any thoughts?