First off, I miss watching the Colbert Report. More about that later.
The following things/people/concepts are “On Notice”:
1) Tori Amos – so fucking precious. (Hey, Stephen Colbert has BEARS as something he is afraid of, I have T.A.)
2) Reverse Snobs – in particular, my boss and Her Toady. Today’s Reverse Snob comment: Boss: “Those rich people who dress up their DOGS for Halloween”
Toady: “They probably spend more than I make in a year!” (um, I cut her paycheck, and I know what she makes in a year and not even Paris Hilton spends that on her dog).
3) Efficient People – Jeez, slack off awhile. Your stupid efficiency ruins my inefficiency. If you have always done something on Friday and all of a sudden start to do this on Thursdays, do not be surprised when my part of this isn’t ready until – guess! – Friday (actually, or Tuesday – oops)
4) Adelphia Internet – our internet is changing. My new email address is Elaine.firstname.lastname@example.org. Do you know how many places have my old email? A lot. Stupid corrupt company.
5) Sites I can’t read – is it me or is the Internet slower than usual? I blame this on the Adelphia jerks, more computers eating up bandwidth or perhaps my reputation proceeding me. Dear internet: If you do not want me on your message board, please email. Thanks
6) The “C” word – just a tasteless, vulgar word.
7) A/V Company – HURRY UP! I want a TV in my bedroom so I can watch the Colbert Report. Do you know that I missed George Lucas supposedly on the show as a guest? (Or better yet, can you believe that I’m upset???)
8 ) Baseball – a.k.a, “Hellllooo Michigan!” – but also, ya know, the less baseball there is on TV, the more new Family Guy episodes there would be room for. (It may not even be baseball causing this. Perhaps hockey? Curling? Jousting? Oooh, the luge!)