1. I have never seen an episode of Oprah. Never, ever. Not even when the topic was interesting to me.
2. My laptop at home has MS Publisher installed (I demanded it) because whenever I write something it makes me pathetically happy.
3. I have a secret baby registry on BabyAge. (When Plan B comes around, I will register somewhere else, but I use this as a place to include stuff I like).
4. The “somewhere else” in Thing 3 will probably be Target and USA Baby because I am boycotting ToysRUs and BabiesRUs because I remember the Xmas Massacre of 1999 on TRU.com and because the company sucked ass, at least to a subcontracted phone jockey.
5. My dream job is Curator of the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame.
6. Or, if time travel were possible, a backup singer for a certain someone, circa 1991. (My theory was that the band got first crack at the talent after the show).
7. Even if they didn’t get first crack at him, it would be so cool to be them. They’re so pretty and well dressed and they sing so nice.
8. Whenever I see Henley solo now, I look to the part of the stage where they used to stand and think “I miss the dancing bimbos.” Once the Eagles all got married, the dancing bimbos disappeared. I think that means Thing 6 was probably pretty close!
9. I have been blogging for 2 years. The goal was to examine my feelings about Plan B.
10. My favorite song of all time is still Fleetwood Mac’s As Long As You Follow, but when it comes on the iPod, I don’t usually listen to it. I think the first 10,000 listens probably were enough for now.
11. I didn’t start dating until the summer before senior year of high school.
12. My dating career went like this: 1) Alkie 2) Geek 3) Loser 4) Blind Date Loser #1 5) Blind Date Loser #2 6) Gene 7) Oklahoma Pervert #8 Gene again. Lovely – 3/8 of my dating career was spent with Losers of some variety, 1/8 was spent with someone who is a convicted felon and 1/4 of it was with my husband. I am so pleased to have finally gotten it right.
13. All of the people in Thing 12 were met on AOL except #3, #4 and #5. The blind dates were because I was trying to find a date for a sorority dance and neither boy liked me enough to spend a second evening with me. Ouch. I ended up taking a stuffed Banana in Pajamas B2 doll as my date (and his brother B1 as the date of my friend Julie – while I definitely consider her husband Joe a tradeup, I think B1 had his appeal, ha ha ha).
14. Did you see the word “sorority” in #13? Yep. Tri-Delta. I’ve tried to join an alum chapter here in Cheesecake two times. The local contact won’t respond to my emails (update: I’m actually an official member of an alum group). I hope someone from there finds this. Bitches. I PAID for you! (I’m leaving this part in even though I have updated the rest, because it makes me laugh very hard)
15. I will do anything it takes to avoid having to write or sometimes read the things I have written. Even write in the blog (which doesn’t count).
16. I have two dogs, Betty and Scooby.
17. I don’t know what’s more annoying: the fact that Betty is the beauty of the family or that she fucking KNOWS she’s the beauty of the family.
18. I have also never seen an episode of Charlie’s Angels, Fantasy Island or the Love Boat. My mom was pretty devotedly anti-Aaron Spelling. (Come to think of it, I’ve seen only 1 episode of 90210 and no Melrose Place).
19. I chew my fingers (cuticles – or what’s left of them?). I always feel better after I do that – I equate it to those girls that cut themselves, though. I don’t know what to do about this, but I will fix it before Plan B comes around.
20. I snuck into the office today (a Sunday) for the simple reason that I needed to send a fax and the Parcel Plus across from my house is closed on Sundays.
21. My favorite word is fuck. Sorry, Mom. You tried. (I’ll get it all back with Plan B, though, so revenge is sweet!)
22. If you wake me up between the hours of 11 pm and 8 am, I will probably try to shank you. This is a current bone of contention between Gene and I. He likes to go to breakfast on the weekends, but the good places fill up early, so his solution is to leave the house at 6 AM. I no longer believe in the Tooth Fairy, so I sures to hell do not believe in 6 AM.
24. I should probably delete Thing 23.
25. Also redacted
26. My real first name is Ruth. My mother intentionally named me that and then never, ever called me that. WTF??
27. I can fit an entire Peanut Butter Cup in my mouth. The 2-pack of them lasts me about 2 minutes.
28. I never, ever wear makeup. When I was growing up, Mom and I said every summer that that would be the year I’d learn to wear makeup. Never happened.
29. It’s probably time to learn, though. Pretty soon I’m going to look old. And not mature-old, but “ack, you’re old!” old.
30. The second anniversary of my 29th birthday is in March. I looked, and I turn 29 for the second time on a Thursday.
31. My idea of a perfect day is a day where I don’t have to go to work and I’m alone in my house. The weekends while Gene and the boy were in OH would have been perfect but I was still in a daze and in a snit.
32. I’d read all my favorite blogs, or save some to read while I’m avoiding writing.
33. An integral part of my perfect day used to be the Patty-cure but Patty has retired to an office job, so no more Patty-cures 🙁 I have a new place now for pedicures, so maybe I’d go there.
34. And after I got home, I’d write a dozen brilliant pages and a short, non-insane blog post.
35. I spent many years planning my wedding (from approx. 1998-2002 but not full time!). I even had three wedding dresses.
36. A Bill Levkoff white bridesmaid gown, a David’s Bridal cheapie, and finally my gorgeous Jasmine Collection gown.
37. Hysterically, I had torn the picture of the Jasmine gown out of a magazine back in 1998.
38. Imagine the $ I could have saved. It boggles my mind.
39. Brides of the world: Do not think you need to buy your gown four years early. You will only get fat.
40. Wow, Thing 39 would make an awesome fortune for a fortune cookie!
am was pre-diabetic.
42. It’s like pre-engaged, without the ring, but with an instrument designed to make you bleed.
43. Hmm, sounds more like marriage!
44. Anyway, since the diagnosis of pre-diabetes, I’ve really cut back on a lot of things: sugar in the form of Pepsi, sugar in the form of Chocolate.
45. I miss Pepsi and Chocolate. Sugar free peanut butter cups are terrible, but I’ve finally gotten over my dislike of Diet Coke.
46. I have also lost 10% of my original body weight (was: 223, is: somewhere between
198-202 195 185).
47. Some of the medication I am on makes it even harder for me to get an entire night’s rest. Or maybe I just need less sleep.
48. This has actually facilitated some good things. I’m writing more (not in the blog, though)
49. But even better, it’s made me want to write more and I love that. It was such a big part of my life for years and years and when I don’t practice it, I miss it.
50. I have figured out that I can either clean the house or cook and clean up after meals, but I can’t do both and still hold a full time job and hold down my exhausting “Sit next to Gene and watch Dr. Phil/CSI/Cheaters” schedule.
51. My current preference is to cook. I really really hate cleaning.
52. I know that I could technically both cook AND clean if I could only convince either Betty or Scooby to help out some, but the lack of opposable thumbs is an obstacle.
53. I have no idea what I’m going to do when Plan B comes along. I have figured out a way to get my house clean now, but that option dries up when I’m no longer working. And who’s going to have the energy to cook a meal?
54. I am a control freak.
55. Anyone who has driven a car that I am a passenger in knows this.
56. It’s better to just let me drive.
57. When someone else is driving, I can’t properly relax. I used to be able to read in the car (for hours, my dream!) but I can only read a few pages before having to vigilantly watch traffic.
58. I do this because I know we’re going to be in a huge accident, but if I watch carefully maybe I can save us.
59. I think this all means I’m pretty solidly a “glass is half empty” girl.
60. I added to my supersecret Gymbo stash this weekend. Just a hooded towel thing. Or maybe it’s a pajamas. I’m not really sure.
61. Stupid Gymbo and their stupid Penguin stuff again this year.
62. I suspect that Plan B is going to grow up and hate penguins and the Eagles.
63. At that point, s/he is going up for adoption.
64. My favorite punctuation mark is either the semicolon or the long dash –. My journalism writing prof gave me such crap for over using one or both of them.
65. I had a great childhood.
66. I got a reputation early on for being weird, which is why Gonzo from the Muppets (the “Weirdo”) is my favorite character.
67. My dream is to have a daughter who wants to be a cheerleader.
68. I loved my childhood and being smart but it would have been neat to be popular.
69. I tend to have road rage. Maybe it’s related to the control freak thing. Acutally, strike that. It definitely is related.
70. I would be very happy if I never received another anything with penguins on it. Enough ornaments, pictures, etc.
71. I am afraid of hospitals.
72. I have never had to stay at a hospital for myself.
73. Plan B will be born in a hospital and that really, really scares me.
74. Hopefully, our hospital will be one of those with the rooms that the dad can stay in.
75. I am THAT afraid.
76. Actually, Gene is threatening to have a Rat Pack style birth, with he and his brother smoking cigars and drinking scotch. (At a bar, not the hospital)
77. I want to hire an Eastern European woman in a babooska to sit at the foot of my bed and yell “PUSH stupid American woman!”
78. Seriously, I think she’d be more helpful than Gene anyway.
79. One of my big dreams in life is to ride in a 747 airplane. I take forever to choose flights on the off chance that USAirways will need a friggin enormous plane like that to fly from Cheesecake City to Indianapolis. No dice yet.
80. I used to want to be a flight attendant. I even interviewed with D*lta and USA*rways and was asked to interview with another (C*ntinental? U*ited? Someone).
81. All of this happened during the Gene and Elaine breakup of February-June 1999. (In one long freakish, drunken fit of internet surfing one afternoon I applied to every airline that did not require FAs speak a foreign language…viva le screwdriver!)
82. The day I interviewed with D*lta in Atlanta was the greatest day of my life. I felt so grownup flying (!) to a job interview (!) for a job where I’d fly (!) everyday (!). I couldn’t get a flight back that night so I had to find a hotel room. It all worked out but it was still the coolest day ever!
83. I had a note in my calendar to call one of the airline recruiters in June 1999. They wanted to interview again but I had to do my journalism internship and graduate from college. (I had originally interviewed in February or March of that year).
84. But instead of calling the recruiter, I IM’d Gene, and history was yet again made.
85. I was a little wistful until 9/11.
86. One of my friends from college is a flight attendant now. Whenever I see her (not often enough), I beg her to tell me stories about her work.
87. I have a very small group of friends. Small = 4. (Hi Brandy! Hi Julie! Hi Amanda! Hi D!)
88. I’ve really always been that way. I just don’t have it in me to be a social butterfly. Even at work events now I usually can’t bring myself to mingle with more than one or two people. If I try, I usually end up asking people something stupid like, “So, was your paycheck right?”
89. I’m winning an award from my employer in a few weeks. Gene is going with me to the dinner and hopefully I’ll have an “on” day so I don’t seem rude or loserly.
90. I am an obsessive bargain shopper. This weekend alone I saved nearly $100 on groceries.
91. I also love to shop online using EBates. If you click on the link to the store you’re shopping at through ebates.com, you usually get a percentage of your total order (3%-8% for most retailers) sent to you quarterly. I have mine sent to my PayPal account. I’m going to blow it all on baby stuff on eBay if we go through with Plan B.
92. I also pad my PayPal account with secret shopping. I did two shops last week and I have another in a week or two. The money isn’t very big but I think it all adds up.
93. I have not paid a dime to be a secret shopper. Never, ever, ever pay to secret shop. They are supposed to pay you. You can get all the pertinent data for free.
94. I love being from Indiana. It gets a bad rap but I like it because it’s so darned flat. Where I live now your options in bad weather are hindered due to mountains and that’s just dumb.
95. I can’t handle complicated computer/video games, but I love to play games like Diner Dash and The Simpsons Road Rage. Anything that you can play for free through Yahoo games is probably my speed.
96. I love getting email but hate reading it. I commented on a blog and the blogger emailed me back (!!) and now I’m too scared to read it (!!). As if it’s going to say “UR STOOPID N I HATE U”.
97. This has taken months to get written. I think I started it in October 2006 (?).
98. It’s hard to do. One hundred is a LOT.
99. Eight is my lucky #.
100. But I like 100 the best.