Meatballs, Thwarted…

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(well, for a little while!)

So, Gene and I are home from our mini vacation in the very big city south of Cheesecake City. We had an awesome time. Our first stop was to be IKEA. Our directions (thanks to our research assistant Google) took us from our house directly there. We hit the big city (and oh, was that some scary traffic! And people who say that Cheesecake City is bad need to spend the 4 o’clock hour where we were!) and exit the highway perfectly. We could SEE the IKEA (it’s fucking huge and blue!) so we knew we were close. Our next direction was to turn onto, oh let’s name it Joe-Bob Blvd.

We find a Super Target, a questionable neighborhood and a lumber yard, but no Joe-Bob Blvd. Oh, we also found an adult entertainment spot named “Swinging Richard’s” (YES REALLY). Through the resourcefulness of my husband (who won’t ask for directions but has an internal map that rivals Rand McNally), we end up on another street that seems a little closer to IKEA. Eventually, we make a U-turn (why are we not dead??) and then another u-turn (ditto???) to make it to IKEA. But we can’t go in the lot for loading, of course (we only intend to load meatballs) and fuck if we can find the real entrance. In desperation, Gene finally joins the line of cars in the line for the loading zone where a kind gentleman is standing next to a sign reading:


On the bright side, he hands us a furniture coupon to use the next day. And he was all mysterious as to the reason “technical difficulties and that’s all I can say!” The next day, we got the girl in the IKEA food marketplace to fess up (electrical issue or something) but I had fun telling Gene that I thought perhaps we were at war with Sweden. Hey, it could happen. During one of our multiple approaches to IKEA (even Saturday it took extra death defying effort) there was a military plane of some sort flying above the store.

Anyway, the meatballs of infamy were a big thumbs up from Gene. They were just as tasty as the meatballs I enjoyed in Detroit and the Daim torte? Yeahhh. I have a bag of Daim candies waiting on me. I think it’s pronounced “dame” but I pronounce it “Damn” as in “I want some damn cake”. Yes, I am hilarious. Imagine being married to me.

Something else that was either funny or just weird – there were Amish (or maybe Mennonite) people at IKEA. Isn’t that a lot like a famous Italian chef eating at the Olive Garden??

One last thing Рwe were checking out this changing table when we were attacked by a rabid IKEA fanatic who used it to change all the diapers for her twin babies. Seriously. When we first built our house, we spent days shopping at a very huge furniture mart west of Cheesecake City and not once did someone stop to tell us that they had that couch or table or whatever and that they loved it. Therefore, I conclude that IKEA is a very special place. I think it may be a little too special for us (what with our dislike of putting furniture together), but I sure do love the meatballs and the Damn torte.


Let’s conga around the living room!

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I am on vacation!

I am on vacation!

(OK, fine, maybe I’m the only one…it’s a very short conga line).

So Gene and I are leaving for the very big city south of us to spend the weekend. We’re going to go to the IKEA (must…have…meatballs), out to dinner (okay, maybe not too many meatballs…), and going to relax. I think this is our first vacation where we’re not visiting my family or Gene’s family since our 2003 cruise. Gene demanded a vacation and I don’t have enough vacation time to do something longer. We’re leaving tomorrow and returning Sunday.

OMG, the meatballs…. mmm. I would not be surprised if I end up just eating¬†a salad or similar at the nice restaurant we have reservations for tomorrow night. I can have steak any time but IKEA meatballs?


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I just loved the part where he talked about how “We’re in a state of vague American values and anti-intellectual pride”. LOVED IT. (And it helps that apparently Larry the Cable Guy is the only one of the 3 Redneck comedy guys who I have never found funny when their stuff comes on the iPod).

(oh, BTW, the link above has some cursing as well as one small mention of “finger banging”, so read at your own risk).