Read this – most of you will find it funnier than anything I could dream up. Sorry mom!
Just as I predicted, Gene, the dogs and I are staying put in Cheesecake City. No NoVa for us! I am secretly relieved, by the way (maybe not sooo secret now that the internet knows). I love visiting up there but I am nowhere near cool enough. I want to be cool enough, but I’m not and that’s OK for now.
Appropos to nothing, I saw Dr. Hottie this morning and pranced out with not one but three different prescriptions PLUS they are supposed to call me to do a sleep study to see if there’s a good reason I don’t sleep well (Gene suspects restless leg syndrome since apparently I jitterbug in my sleep). Better living through science!
Hey, watch this!
Look! A new paragraph!
(I can finally say that I like white dog…)
How did I not figure out there’s not a version of MS Publisher for the Mac? Fuckity. Granted, I never do anything brainy in Publisher (purely an ego thing) but the files don’t even open in Pages (the Mac version of Word). Crrrrrrap.
First of all, I just sat here a little while ago today and thought “Thank heavens it’s Friday so I can watch the Woot Off.”Second of all, a week or two ago on the Colbert Report, he revealed that the week of shows they are shooting in Philadelphia are being sponsored by a new Doritos flavor (something like Sweet and Spicy Chili flavor). Doritos sponsored his (sadly truncated) run for the White House. Anyway, I watched this episode last weekend (yes, I’m behind, thanks) and decided I must have these new Doritos. Gene and I drove around, going into gas stations, drug stores, grocery stores on Easter in desperate(ish) search. I found them on Monday at the gas station near my office. They are delicious. Yum.
It felt like it had been weeks since I posted here. Turns out I posted on Monday. Maybe Monday seems like weeks ago. Could be!!
So, Gene and I may be relocating to the state directly north of ours. Being curious, I hit my beloved realtor.com to see exactly what we might be able to afford. Wow. I never realized how downright AFFORDABLE our suburb of Cheesecake City is. OMG. I wonder if the Murano will fit Gene, the dogs and I? Can you even get wifi in your car?
Here is Easter in the Elaine World: “Gee, I’d sure like to go to…” “AUGH, it’s closed for Easter!” “Oh, I wonder if (something else) is open” “Nope, closed!” I cannot believe that in a country where the mall opens on THANKSGIVING that Easter is still…err…Holy. Even Target’s closed (I think -they were a few years ago when Gene was out of town over Easter weekend). I think I will rename Easter “Day the Cadbury Mini Eggs go on clearance Eve”. Then again, I have CVS Extra Care bucks and a day with nothing to do but laundry, so today may be the day after all.
So, my NCAA bracket has been going…. oh, what’s the phrase? Not well. I have correctly guessed 65% of the outcomes so far, but the following teams are on my (Stephen Colbert-approved) “Dead to Me” list: Indiana University (well, like IU has ever NOT been on my Dead to Me list), Kent State, Clemson, Vanderbilt, USC, Kentucky, St. Mary’s, BYU, Drake and Connecticut.BTW, I don’t think I ever explained the method I used to pick this year. Obviously, first I went through and selected the teams with the lower # next to them. If that didn’t help, I picked who had the higher ranking in their conference. If THAT was a no-go, I picked whoever had the better in-conference season. And in rare cases where I was still confused, I used my rule for “Who will win the Best Foreign Film Oscar?” and chose the team with the goofier name (which is why I had a hard time passing Gonzaga by, but I knew in my heart that Davidson would win).
Today is my 31st birthday. Hmm. All I know is that I never expected to turn 30 and still feel so immature. And now I’m a whole year older than THAT, and if anything I have only backslid to become less mature. Geez. Maybe the people on Thirtysomething were in their late 30s. Those people were grownups and me…well, I don’t think I’m any different from the way I was at 14.