…and exhale.

So, Gene is listening to an Ann Coulter book on the iPod and it’s getting a little tense. Eek! But now we are home and watching 30 Rock (starring Alec Baldwin) from Thursday and now, all is right in the world.

That said, I did learn one interesting thing from the book. Apparently Barack Obama is partially Atheist. Hearing that makes me want to consider not writing in Stephen Colbert as my vote in November.

Compulsive, repulsive…

Hi! Nope, not dead. Lost FireFox again (silly me, daring to reboot my computer), but it’s found. Yea!

Anyway, I am posting today to tell you all something you all already know:

I am completely loony-toon compulsive. I figured it out when I was counting the number of bottles of hand soap and hit a dozen.

And then there’s the fact that I cannot say no when the grocery store has those Crystal Light single serving packets BOGO, as they do this week. I have four boxes of them in my desk at work for when I drink water and Gene has a ton of them at home as well. (I only drink the lemonade kind because of course I am very picky).

And then there’s the ridiculous number of rolls of paper towels. I bought two big packages of them at CVS trying to earn ExtraCare bucks and then I had coupons and the grocery store had them on sale during Triple Coupon weekend for 4 big rolls for $7 and ohhh, I cannot resist. (I love the big rolls of paper towels versus the smaller rolls in the multi-packs, but still, ExtraCare bucks are ExtraCare bucks).

And then there’s the personal care items. Gene and I are both set for deoderant for the next year, easily. And if by some mystery I manage to get pregnant during our Clomid-Free Spring, aww, geez. I hear that some stores will let you exchange diapers for the next size up, but will they let you trade, say, a dozen pregnancy tests and (wait for it, TMI) maxipads for the diapers in the spirit of “Oh, who knew?” if you shrug adorably?

On the bright side, I am down to about a half dozen bottles of my beloved All Small & Mighty Free & Clear and a few botles of Downy and I haven’t begun to panic yet. And I did successfully tell myself “NO!” when I was reading this week’s CVS ad and came upon a deal wherein if you buy a bottle of the new Softsoap body wash, you pay $3.99 and you get $3.99 back in ExtraCare bucks. That means it would be FREE.

(Now, if it turns out there’s a coupon for the stuff in the paper, the body wash is better than free and all bets are off…)


I found Firefox.








No, not really. So, on the topic of things I am glad about:

I am very glad I have an entire bag of Daim candies. I hope they are hidden well enough that I don’t come home from work to find Gene passed out in a pile of their wrappers.

I am very glad today is Sunday and not Monday because of course, Sunday is my fun day, my I don’t have to run day. (Do all seven days of the week have psychiatric disorders or just Manic Monday?)

I am very glad I have this computer. Even when word processing kicks my ass, I can always find web browsers (you would think I could find it using Finder, but not so much).

I am very glad I woke up early this morning and it was quiet. No TVs, no dogs making noise (kenneling them at night was my brightest idea lately). I could think and it was marvelous.

I am very glad I have my friends, both the newer ones and the older ones (that’s not an age joke, I’ve just known some of you longer than others).

I am very glad I have my husband, who supports me in all ways and didn’t stop me from buying the MBUS (and totally supported the purse search, even if he is privately pleased I didn’t buy one) and didn’t look at me funny when I told him what my YouTube user name is (ooh, I wonder if MahMBUS was taken?). (Seriously – have you tried to get a YouTube user name? LaineyD? TAKEN. The same for just about everything else I could dream up, including Scooby123).

Well, bad news, kids…

I seem to have lost Firefox (a web browser), so you know what that means! No hard returns! (How did I lose an entire program? it was there before I rebooted after an upgrade to iTunes or something, UGH). All in all, though, it’s OK because I don’t have anything interesting to say today. I was going to write a post about things I am glad about because lately I’ve just posted stuff about the new computer and work, but without the Glory of Hard Returns, I just can’t do it. So instead I’m going to go write something in iWork Pages instead. Despite my earlier promise, I still haven’t purchased it (::thumbs nose in general direction of Cupertino, CA, the home of Apple::), but I will, at least in the next 15 days.

Million dollar idea

Benadryl tables – in beef flavor!

I just had to give “pink treats” to both of the dogs and it was a struggle. Surprisingly, not for Scooby, who took his with maybe only one spit out, but Betty’s was a PITA. I even had to call her a bad dog, which I rarely do. Maybe I should just buy some generic peanut butter for this – (I don’t want to contaminate the good peanut butter with dog germs.)

…and dream of sheep

(no, I have not gone completely crazy).

It’s 11:30 and I’m not asleep. The alarm went off today at 5:30 am and I’ve been on the go ever since (well, it all winds down when I get home from work, but still, it sucks). The other night I was up until 3 in the morning working on the laptop.

I’m not opposed to sleep, of course. Most of you know how deeply I love to sleep, to rest, to nap. I can promise you that even if I’m wide awake now, by lunch time tomorrow I will be full of regret about having been up late. Sadly, my brain won’t shut up (!!), so here I am.

My love/hate relationship with Open Office has ended with the needle pointing to “DEEPLY HATE”. In the middle of my late night festival o’ reading stuff I’d written, OO simply decided to stop saving. So really, that’s why I was up so late, trying to find an answer as to what to do about that and finally giving up and moving everything (back) to iWork. (Steve Jobs, you win. I’ll buy the full version this weekend and I’ll probably download some more stuff from iTunes, too…must…buy…Feist…CD).

At one point, I got so frustrated I made new folders titled “Open Office can bite my ass” and something akin to “I hate this computer with a fiery hot passion,” except it cut me off in the middle of “fiery”. I must say, the most interesting thing about that word “fiery” is how “fire” is usually spelled “F-I-R-E” until you make it an adjective (adverb? proverb? amateurverb? one of those) and all of a sudden the spelling changes. I guess “firey” is just too cute to be very effective.

Today’s “Do Not Need” item

…is a purse. It is hysterical that I am looking at purses because a) I have carried the same purse since 2000 (making my cost per day just pennies) b) I purchased a new purse on my honeymoon in 2002 that I haven’t used yet c) the purse I’m eyeing lustfully is red d) and probably counterfeit e) and I am nowhere near cool enough to pull off a red probably counterfeit Prada purse. (And no, I am not buying anything, I promise).

Mahjobiscrappis, April edition

So, apparently my escape plan has not worked out since we are not going to VA anytime soon. Dangit. So, I have to made do with my current job (well, there’s always the option of another job in Cheesecake City but it turns out I’m actually pretty well paid. Oops).

Gwen has been my boss now for 6ish weeks and now I remember why I didn’t really mind not having her for my boss for the previous 3+ years. Oops. She has all these expectations and doesn’t live in Scotchland (I’m not saying Stefania’s boss is from Scotland – I’m saying I think he’s a fucking alcoholic) so she’s actually awake and present during the day.

And I think she (still) checks my web surfing history which makes it really hard to check my 3 personal email addresses multiple times a day.

So anyway – she has all these expectations of me as an employee and payroll as a job. And what’s amazing is that I really believe that (with her help sometimes) we may be able to make them happen. Yesterday we sat down and devised a report that we’re going to present to the Bosses to say “Hey bitches! Fix this shit!” (ooh, I should totally call the report that). And we’ve got the people that installed our crappy software coming out so I can say (to them) “Hey bitches, fix this shit” and that will save me so much time.

And there’s the Major Payroll Initiative – yikes! – that I’m working on STILL. I swear, it’s not going to be fixed any time soon (possibly because it involves me, spreadsheets and figuring out the minimum wage for overtime hours – FUN!). The good news is that Gwen told the Big Big Boss and he was supposedly suitably appalled. Which feels good, since it’s not my fault.

And then there’s all the Extra Crap that was shoveled at me a few weeks ago. The good news is that we simplified drug testing so part of my job may get a little easier (I no longer have to call some random medical center in Noplace City and beg them to stay open until 5:30). And I’m working closer with our insurance, which is super scary.

So, while I definitely feel that Mahjobiscrappis, things may get better with Gwen’s help (and D to shovel chocolate and Diet Dr Pepper at me). I’ll stay insanely busy (seriously – I can’t go to the chiropractor without thinking of another 4 things to add to my to do list), but I hope I won’t freak out like I did the last time I worked with Gwen, when my to do list hit 20 items and I decided to read a book at my desk while the boss was away and then TELL someone I did that, (stupid me). Maybe I can live up to my actual potential.

And wouldn’t that be fucked up?