A quarter to crazy…

So, I have been collecting the statehood commemorative quarters. Blanche got a cardboard book for the Boy, shaped like the US Map, with spaces for each state’s quarter. She didn’t get very far before losing interest, forgetting, or moving. While I was upstairs admiring my Dorky Collection of Baby Clothes, I came across the project and took it over. (As it was Blanche’s, it makes me feel close to her, and because it was for the Boy, it makes me feel close to him, too). So I’ve been going through my daily life and always checking my purse for states not already filled in.

Last night I had a brilliant – albeit deeply loony – idea. Gene collects change (I don’t know why). Since he’s out of town, I went ahead and cracked open the half full bank to see what I could harvest. As of today, I have all 48 available quarters in the little cardboard book (Alaska and Hawaii have not yet been released).

I am also reminded of why I was not a US History minor. I sorted through a ton of quarters looking for missing states (Michigan, why were you so hard to find???) and I kept coming across Delaware’s entry. “Why in the hell is there a horse on Delaware’s quarter?” I wondered before feeling extra stupid because – DUH – it’s supposed to be Paul Revere’s ride.

Now I’m extra extra stupid because – thanks US Mint for your very informative website – it turns out it’s actually commemorating someone named Caesar Rodney’s horseride. Funny, I thought that guy was the dog whisperer.

Vacation Envy


Everybody is on vacation and I’m not. Or else they’re TALKING about the vacation they have booked. I want a real vacation, where we pack up and go somewhere and DON’T spend it with either of our families. (Sorry, Mom. I love you but there are no drinks of the day in Indianapolis). (And don’t get me started on Ohio – I love all 4 of my inlaws, but the Fun Ship to Columbus sailed when Blanche died). I want a BEACH. And ROOM SERVICE. And to not have to deal with ANYONE not offering me, for instance, a refill on my pina colada.


(I also have my raging annual case of Convertible Envy, exacerbated by the huge # of convertible Mini Coopers I saw while I was up north last weekend).

Things I can do, things I cannot…

Well, I still can’t successfully send a text message (tried while sitting in the Philadelphia airport). I can’t do higher math. Ovulation is sometimes iffy (and here you thought I wouldn’t bring THAT up again…)

But I can successfully wheedle my way into getting the fuck on home. I’m going to post the play by play because it really makes me happy.

Here’s how my itinerary was, originally:

Philly to New York, leaving around 3 pm

Three hour layover in NYC – woohoo! Big plans to buy a touristy tshirt

NYC to Washington DC

Hour long layover

Washington DC to Cheesecake City, arriving home about 11 pm

Here’s what really happened:

Checked in at Philly, flight already delayed to 3:30. That’s OK, I think. It’ll cut into my time in NYC but now I’m just glad that I had that long layover. Flight delayed to 4:20, flight from NYC to Washington delayed until 9:30, flight from Washington ON TIME. AND…. the plane I was supposed to take from Philly hadn’t left Virginia (I learned this about 4:15). All in all, I was going to end up stuck in Washington for the night.


By this point I had become skilled at pacing the airport (in search of an actual cold bottle of Aquafina). I
finally decided something had to be done so I wised up and went to USAirways ticketing. (Inexplicably, ticketing wasn’t a nightmare, despite the fact that many many flights were cancelled). Here’s the funny part: I was flying from Philly on USAirways and the rest of the way on United. I explained the situation and asked if I could get a seat on a direct flight from Philly to Cheesecake City. She said that she wasn’t sure if they could touch it but she would try. She ended up on the USAirways rebooking hotline and waited on hold with them for a good 15 minutes. I was sure I was doomed.

Eventually, USAirways had to get on the phone with United. For a minute, she was worried that United would put the kibosh on the whole thing. (I told her at least three times that if it couldn’t be done that it would be OK, but on the inside I was panicking). Finally, she said that they’d fix it for me.

“How much?” I asked, meaning, “how much would I have to pay?”

She gave me the “it’s nothing” wave. I think that TSA would have kicked me out of the airport if I’d come across her desk to hug her, so I had to refrain. When I walked away, boarding pass in hand, I looked straight at the guy next to the USAirways ticketing lady and said “She’s been amazing!” He replied, “She always is!”

Endgame: Landed in Cheesecake at 9:30. Over an hour earlier than my original group of flights would have had me home without any delays.

To look at it another way- my original flight from Philly ended up leaving at 9:24 pm (yes, six and a half hours late!).

Anyway, I’m supposed to be out the door in 35 minutes, so I’m going to finish this missive like this: I finally did something proactive (even if it took me 2 hours of waiting to do it) and I am really proud of myself.

Stormy Weather…

and here’s where the weekend in NJ w/ Gene has gone to hell. It is raining officially like a motherfucker in Philly and my flight has been delayed until 4:20. (Here’s hoping the pilot isn’t a stoner).

So now I’m stuck in PA and I haven’t even begun my exciting day of flight yet. I knew something was weird when I didn’t have to wait to get through security. (Amazing).

Here’s how my weekend was otherwise: Gene picked me up about 11-ish Friday night. It was SO NICE to see him!!! It totally felt like the old days when we were dating and I’d fly into Cheesecake City or wherever to spend a weekend with him. Saturday, we wandered around and had breakfast at a coffee shop and then drove around the Princeton campus. I thought about buying a Princeton alumnae shirt but decided against it as it would devalue the shirt’s worth if they let a Ball State grad like ME wear it. (It would also devalue the shirt because I just tried to spell the word “shurt”).

Gene showed me the office park where he works. It’s one of those fancy “campus” settings with a day care and a cafeteria. The amount of land was huge and as we drove around the city he kept saying “And here’s another building where I had to go for a meeting” or, my favorite, “and here’s the building for the big wigs with the helopad”.

Some of my coworkers joked with me that I’d get here and Gene would surprise me by making me go look for houses for sale because he’s been relocated. Fortunately, NO. And I say fortunately because it turns out I wasn’t too thrilled with NJ. Gene’s been here off and on for the last few month and he keeps complaining because there are no restaurants that serve anything other than A) pizza/Italian or B) wings. HE’S RIGHT! Eeesh. I was reminded again that I don’t like old cities. Just don’t. Cheesecake City, being part of the New South, is not an old city. I hear that Los Angeles is the same way, but luckily Cheesecake isn’t that far gone YET. I know there are good parts of NJ and good parts of Philly but I also know that I didn’t see any of it this weekend.

(Hell yeah I’m a princess. What of it?)

Back at the bait shop…

(a/k/a The Cheesecake City International Airport)…

I’m off to spend the weekend w/ Gene. Yippee! My flight starts to board in about an hour so I’m just relaxing at a different gate and marvelling over how annoying Safari is right now (why, oh WHY won’t you load FaceBook??). I enjoyed a super delicious late lunch courtesy of the Pizza Hut.

Anyway, White Dog came with, but mostly as airport entertainment as I will be hanging around various airports  (or in airplanes) about 16 hours of the next 48. (Hmm. All of a sudden, my bargain flight doesn’t seem so bargain-y).

I miss Gene. I will be glad to see him. I hope he does not have to travel again for a little while. That would be lovely.

When you build your house, call me…

(Look, still using lyrics for blog posts… fancy!)

Anyway, since Gene is out of town, I have all evening to do whatever I want. It’s getting a bit ridiculous. (I’d hoped to fly up to visit him this weekend, but USAirways was determined to thwart me with crappy E-Savers).

So, I did something I hadn’t done lately – I went to Realtor.com and searched for all the big million dollar houses in the 90210 area code. (I always feel that if I’m going to look at big-ass houses, I’m going to go to where the concept was practically invented).

This is the first time I’ve done this since the housing crisis started and it’s amazing the number of $1 Million+ houses that are in short sale or “desperate”, etc. Cheesecake’s housing market has supposedly been strong until very recently so I haven’t seen any of these here. Wow. So, even the rich are affected by this. Hmm. Probably makes them miss the days when there were no property taxes (I think it was property tax), which is why so many super-rich people (I’m thinking of all the silent movie stars) had houses that were nearly palaces.

The BIG big screen…

So, Gene and I saw the new Batman movie on the IMAX screen in downtown Cheesecake. He had me get the junk food so he picked the seats. Believe me – 2 and a half hours in the 5th row at IMAX is a recipe for certain disaster.

The movie itself was fine. I don’t get all this yammering about Heath Ledger and a posthumous Oscar, though. He played a cartoon character cartoonily. Not as hammy as Nicholson in the 1989 Batman movie, but still. (Can anyone name a Jack Nicholson movie where he does not feast on scenery?).

Something else I do not understand is the news article on Yahoo News about parents being upset about the violence in the movie. First off, it’s rated PG-13. Who in their right mind would take their young child to this?  (Answer: the same braniacs who bring their toddlers to Midnight Shopping on Black Fridays). It is  an incredibly violent movie. The opening scene, a bank robbery, was very scary. Perhaps The Joker was the only cartoony thing in the movie because the majority of the rest of the movie (esp. the violent bits) were very realistic.

After a few years as a teenager spent watching horror movies like The Evil Dead, I have realized that now as an adult that I just can’t go there anymore. Perhaps it’s maturity (oh sure, this is where I finally mature), perhaps it’s the buildup of anxiety in my system. It could be that there is enough in the world to fear anymore, who needs entirely fictionalized problems? Maybe it’s because The Dark Knight was two and a fracking half hours long and most comedies don’t break the 2 hour mark. In the end, I don’t think I want to see movies with causeless murders and other acts of senseless violence anymore.

Anyway, the LaineyD.com PSA for July 21 is this: Don’t be stupid and take your kid to see a hyper violent movie, even if its basis is in comic books. DUH.


I have a sick, sad lust to buy Gene a Nintendo Wii for his birthday. We were standing in the GamesStop store across the street from our house yesterday and they had 3 of them (I think – they had the boxes and I think that means they had the systems). I don’t particularly want to use the Wii (anything more complex than Super Mario Bros 3 is just too much) but I want him to have it.

Is that the manifestation of “love means wanting to make your partner happy” or is it just the manifestation of “money fixes everything”? It is probably the latter, and we have racked up a huuuuge Visa bill from our party-hearty lifestyle so I guess I should refrain from making a $500 purchase (yeah, the system is a mere $250 but when you add in all the extra thingies and then buy games for the thing, $500 is probably a lowball estimate).

Plus, the reason Gene wants the Wii is to set it up upstairs to use Wii Fit and we can’t just buy a Wii and Wii Fit, we also have to buy a TV, mount it to the wall and buy enough mats to plastic carpet the entire upstairs. (“The upstairs” = The Boy’s room and also where I have stashed adorable items of tiny clothing and the MBUS.) And yes I know that we could just buy the Wii and the game and call it a day, but we really can’t. Neither of us like to do stuff half way.

The problem is this: Gene is really, REAAAALLY generous to me on my birthdays. For example, when I turned 30 (shhh, don’t tell!), I got flowers, an Edible Arrangement, dinner out, an iPod shuffle, a gift card to a salon and other assorted smaller items. How can I just turn up on August 17 with only… nothing? (Well, not literally nothing, but there are SOME things I do not discuss on the blog, tyvm).