If it’s called Labor Day, why am I not at work?

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Sooo, how are you?

I am doing pretty well. It’s the first day of a glorious three day weekend. I left work at 1 PM yesterday and Gene and I went to a late lunch. Yum. Did I mention Gene is home? He arrived about 3 AM on Thursday. He’ll be going back sometime in the next few weeks and to a foreign country in November.

Work is finally calmed down but I know that it’s going to get nuts again before the software conversion. We have meetings on Tuesday and Thursday. If everything goes well, I may only have to process payroll two more times using our shitty current software. I am keeping my fingers crossed.

I am also working a little on redesigning the blog. I just spent the last two or three hours perusing istockphotos.com choosing cute little illustrations and now I’m looking at backgrounds. I really hate my current header (the rose just annoys me and the font is sooooooo pedestrian) but I think I will stick with pink, although I do like the idea of red or blue or stripes or dots or chocolate and pink dots.

NOTE: When I talk about redesigning the blog, I mean that I will be hiring someone to put all the cute stuff together. They will know they are done when I stop making gagging noises when I look at it. (I’m paying via PayPal using my secret shopping money so I know I’m not paying much!)

Why, yes, I do know that this all spells a certain amount of doom and that it could all end with me desperatel writing blog posts on post-it notes and sticking them to my monitor.

Yeah, the summer’s gone but a lot goes on forever…

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(well, OK, it was neigh onto 80 degrees today, so I guess it’s a stretch to say that summer’s GONE)

(Oh, and the title of today’s post comes from Leonard Cohen’s song “I Can’t Forget” from his amazing album “I’m Your Man”)

So where the hell did summer go??? Huh??? One minute it’s Memorial Day and then twenty five minutes later it’s almost Labor Day. WTF?

I have also come to the realization that if I had it all to do over again, I would have dropped out of school sometime in the third grade. Yes, really. Ugh. Just the thought of having to start ALL over again EVERY year just makes me want to go back to bed and I’m 10 years out of college now. (And already in bed, technically speaking). New friends, new school sometimes, new teachers, new lessons. Urrrrgh.

I was lucky in elementary school, honestly. From the second grade until the fifth grade I was in a special program for nerds losers geeks social misfits smart kids and the Indianapolis Public School system kept us all in the same class year after year. That made it easy to figure out who my friends would be because they were the same as they were last year. And the cute boys? Same as they were last year. And the ubiquitous pretty/stuck up girl? Yep, she was there too. (And she wasn’t ME, by the way – I was pretty stuck up, but not PRETTY and stuck up. Really!).

The irony is that I was ghetto elementary school smart but not regular elementary school smart. We moved after the fifth grade and while I was in the best reading class I got kicked out of the better math and science classes because I just couldn’t hack it. Junior high is tough. I think maybe there should be an entire year where you just get used to changing classrooms, opening your locker and dealing with the stuck up girls, without having to learn anything. Education baby steps.

Daim candies…

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So, I was cleaning out our prescription drug cupboard (cubbard? whatever) (wait, you don’t have that much space devoted to medication? really?) and found an unopened pristine bag of Daim Candies from IKEA in Metropolis South of Cheesecake City.

And they expire on 9/1.

Yep, sounds like I’ve got some eating to do. Mmmm.

And yeah, I have failed spectacularly at being a good girl during my self-imposed Plan B break. Haven’t been good about drinking water, not drinking soda, eating junk food (I would say “Please see bag of Daim Candies”, but I’m afraid I might hurt anyone who gets between me and the Daim Candies) or taking any sort of medication. (including the Wellbutrin, which I think I need very much right now, hi how are you?).

So yeah, Daim candies it is.

And, a movie review or three

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So! I have seen some movies of late. (Not including the movies I’ve watched on TV, which is a whole other topic).

First, Gene and I saw Pineapple Express. Ehh. I enjoyed it but it was – as Cartman from South Park might say – hella violent. Very funny, but not as good as…

Next, we saw Tropic Thunder. Loved it. In fact, you should stop reading this post and go see it right now. It was hysterically funny. Additionally, I feel it has completely made the last 20 years of my life spent slavishly reading up on gossip and the entertainment industry all worth it. Thanks, Ben Stiller! Now, if only you could have saved…

Finally, I saw Mamma Mia today. I clearly have a black, black heart because it was awwwwful. Holy Crap. I am glad tickets were “only” $5. Does this movie take place in a world without DNA testing or something? Jesus. Jerry Springer could have solved the movie’s central dilemma (“Who’s the baby daddy?”) in less than an hour and it would have given us the larger benefit of a bare knuckle fist fight between Colin Firth and Pierce Brosnan. Damn. And maybe I’ve just spent too much time and money seeing the Eagles reunion tours, but fuck – ABBA refused to reunite when they were offered a BILLION dollars? Really? Each of the four members (A, B, B and A) could have had $250 million dollars from that – think of how many IKEA meatballs that equals! – and they wouldn’t have to deal with the lasting legacy of the dreck I watched today.

Oh, and lately I’ve seen (on DVD or thanks to the DVR): Smart People (hated it – I admit that I fell asleep toward the end (?) but didn’t feel interested enough to rewind), Conversations with Other Women (really enjoyed it although it was filmed in split screen, which I bet was nausea inducing in the theaters) and The Pursuit of Happyness (loved it, loved it, loooved it, so perhaps my heart is not so cold as previously thought).

News you can use

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(and if not you, then someone)

If you are on a medication called, let’s say, Blomid and it makes you batshit crazy for an entire month (and when I say “batshit crazy”, I am NOT in any way, shape or form joking) and you tell your doctor or the midwife that hey, the Blomid made me crrrrrraaaaaazzzzzyyyy for 28 straight days to the point where I wanted to jump off a cliff, they will be spectacularly unimpressed. And tell you that if you think that’s bad, wait until you’ve taken double the dosage and see how crazy you are then.

(Seriously – if I ever say to you that 100 mgs of “Blomid” don’t work and 150 mgs don’t work, so we’re going to try 200 mgs, please just send me a link to a cute puppy on Petfinder.com because I am literal when I tell you that I will end up speaking in tongues rolling about the backyard for 28 straight days if that is my only option to get knocked up).

On the bright side, at least the midwife didn’t call me fat, which is kind of her. I do wonder, though, why she expressed no surprise that it has been an entire f&*^%*g year and still no on the baby front. Pffft.

(OMG what if my future includes having to give myself shots in the ass?? Ack it could be so much worse).

Can I be totally honest?

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oh, good.

Anyway, I totally don’t feel like doing anything. I tried to go and get the Murano’s oil changed but there was a long line so I went and got breakast and took it home and now I’m back in bd and it’s nearly 10 AM on a beautiful Saturday and I don’t feel like doing a damn thing.

(This extends to just about everything, including this blog and my email and frankly, I’m not that into Facebook anymore so I’m nearly ready just to delete it and call it a day).

BLAH. It has been a loooong week. Last weekend was certifiably horrible, Gene is out of town (which is not a bad thing right now) and I worked my ass off all week at work. Payroll would be so awesome if it wasn’t for all the damned payroll. Feh.

So instead, a list:

Things I would like to do:

1) Go to see Mamma Mia  (yes, I know. Damn you impossibly sexy Colin Firth)

2) Go to theme park and ride roller coasters (too pathetic to do this alone, I think)

3) Go buy a caramel apple. I’ve been favoring their peanut butter chip apples lately but I think I would prefer to kick it old school.

Things that I should do:

1) Go to work and catch up on all the mayhem that just didn’t get done. (If only I’d worked more of my ass off, ha)

2) Ubiquitous laundry

Doctor, doctor

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So… turns out I didn’t see Dr. P yesterday. Even though I had a handy little appointment card that said I was to see him on 8/19 at 9:15 AM, it turns out that his receptionist didn’t put my appointment in their appointment book (!!!!). So instead I see Dr. P or the midwife on Friday at 2:30. Which is SO very convenient since I work 30 minutes away and it’s the day after payroll printing. Pffffft. Maybe I should reschedule.

(Don’t mind me – I’m in a crappy mood anyway).