Xmas will be magic again? Not this year!

Had a lovely holiday, thanks. Hope you did too. Had a caffeine headache Xmas afternoon, went to the gas station for diet soda. Walked out of there like a wino – a two liter to get me through the day and a fountain Coke just for the drive home. LOL. (Diet Coke, not effective – generic Flexeril, very effective). Still yakked, missed Xmas dinner, never even made the damned casserole.

There is something horribly wrong about a holiday where I have to work the day before and the day after. It’s times like this that I miss college, with its two weeks off for Xmas.

Well, on to New Year’s. (woooo!)

Xmas ’08: Thank God It’s Over

(More from the drafts archives – looks like I actually wrote in the “message” box this time. Whoa!)

(har har)

What is there to say about the holidays (be it Xmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, Father’s Day, Mother’s Day, the 17th of August or the 22nd of January) at the Chateau LaineyD?

Well, let me tell you. The holidays for us are all about missing someone. Xmas ’06 sucked because it was our first Xmas w/o Gene’s mother, but it was not entirely awful because we were up north with Gene’s family and with my family. I was proud to bring both of the boys to Xmas, as if to say “Ha! Yes I do indeed have a family.” And then you know what happened? Just as Xmas was getting good, Xmas Day ’06 began to suck more thanks to someone’s ex-something. (Let’s just all say a big fucking THANKS FOR NOTHING to HER and by the way I HOPE YOU STILL READ THIS BLOG YOU STUPID WHORE). And it’s kinda stayed that way ever since.

(I don’t remember where I was going with this one)

And so this is Christmas…

(Am I the only person who really loves John Lennon’s “Happy Xmas (War is Over)”?)

Anyway… Merry Christmas to all of you. Xmas ’08 is going to be a quiet affair spent in beautiful Cheesecake CIty as a day off between one crazy work day and the next. Gene and I bought a ham and we’re going to make sweet potato casserole and chocolate cake. Like Thanksgiving ’08, we’re only making the foods we love best. At some point we’ll open our presents – I bought Gene some neat stuff; I hope he likes it.

So, again, Merry Christmas. Hope it’s a great one.

Fall(out) on Me…

So Gene’s devotedly playing Fallout 3 on his XBox. I have no idea what game is about except that Gene is very proud not to have eaten any corpses (???), but I do know that the soundtrack is very limited and VERY maddening. It’s a fairly endless loop of “Anything Goes” and other old songs that I don’t know the names of but will guess they are called “I’m in Love” and “I Don’t Want to Set the World on Fire.” There’s another song that reminds me of one of the old Christmas songs on the Muzak at work right now – I woke up this morning with that song in my head

(Hey, no complaining – I made it to December 21 before even mentioning the work Xmas Muzak… it’s a record!)

Other goings-on: The box with Xmas gifts for my family in Indiana was sent out Friday minus the present for my very beloved Aunt Lyn as her present had not yet arrived, despite it being very small, easy to mail, and having been ordered an entire week prior (yeah, I know it’s Xmas, but it’s a ::shh:: gift card, not a mountain bike). Even though this one thing was missing, Compulsive Elaine just HAD to get the box out of her house.

I got home from the shipping store and the mail had been delivered and…wouldn’t you know it? So has Aunt Lyn’s present. Grrr. I am a terrible niece – I’m just going to mail it to her home and she won’t get it on time. (Yes, I could mail it to Mom’s house, where she’s spending the holiday, but what if it gets there after Aunt Lyn goes back to Illinois?).

It’s 9 o’clock on a Sunday…

(the slacker named Lainey shuffles in…)

So Gene is out of town this week. I wasn’t sure how I was going to fill the hours this weekend, but it turns out it was easy. The dogs and I all got groomed yesterday. I did laundry and baked while they were away. Last night I drove down into Downtown Cheesecake City and saw The Nutcracker. I enjoyed it – seeing a real ballet was something I’d never done before. Down the street from the performing arts center, Cheesecake’s pro basketball team was playing (at the arena, not a game of HORSE or whatever).

I wasn’t sure where to go once I parked the car (and that was a neat trick!) but I had the choice of following two older ladies dressed in holiday finery or two inebriated men in wifebeaters. I followed the older ladies and it turns out that was the right choice.

Proof how lame I am…

So… as I have blogged about incessantly, I got back from an awesome vacation in Malaysia, where I had little to do besides feed myself and get massages. The food part was amazing. Gene and I discussed before leaving how much fun it would be to be total shits and say things like “Oh yes, the chicken satay here in America is fine, but for real satay you MUST go to Hole in the Wall Restaurant in Kuala Lumpur!”.

That said, why did I just eat the two entree meal from Panda Express and like it more than any of the Asian food I had in actual Asia?

Sorry, food snobs.


Again, someone got here by Googling “Cheesecake carry on.” I can’t imagine why people are Googling this, but whatever. Back in the day (pre 9/11) I used to see people carrying on all kinds of food (whole lobsters, etc) and I dragged a ton of candy through four airports on the way home from KL only two and a half weeks ago, but a cheesecake?

Dude. Go crazy, eat it in the airport. Let me know which airport and I’ll be there with plastic forks, ready to help. You are so welcome.

it’s all so blah blah blah

I have nothing of interest to say. It’s been rough ’round the homestead of late and I was pretty close to just saying fuck it all and running away from home and coming to live with you guys instead (if you are wondering “Does she mean me?” the answer is a big fat “YES” because I was planning on embarking upon a Needy Elaine tour of the homes of friends and family).

Wooh. Boy did you all dodge a bullet! So instead of cashing my paycheck and grabbing the necessities and driving…somewhere… instead I’m in a rental car (Murano’s at the body shop – loooooong story) in Staples parking lot. I need to get back to work but – newsflash – I don’t want to.

The good news at work is that Muzak loves me. While yes, there is a fuck ton of Xmas music at work right now, it’s not every song being played and while my beloved Eagles version of “Please Come Home For Christmas” is not on the play list, Darlene Love’s “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home),” a song that I feel is too, too sublime, is played at least once a day.

Then again, her equally sublime version of “White Christmas” is also not being played, which is good. If I had to listen to her sing that verse about “It is December 24th and I am longing to be up north” (don’t have time to get the quote right, you get the point), I might be forced to puncture both eardrums or run away to Indiana after all.