Doomsday Thought of the Day…

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You know how old people are always saying things like “What this country needs is a good war” to combat America’s tendency toward overconsumption and overpopulation?

What if this economical meltdown is just that? Is this just one of those Adam Smith* invisible hand of the market things, but this time people are supposed to starve to death because they have no home because they have no job because there are no jobs? And then they die off (we die off?) and whoevers left is totally hunky-dory.

(And what if the so-called invisible hand of the market is God?)**

(Well, I know what – if so then I am in a lot of trouble!)

(*Oh come on, you know I had to look that up on Wikipedia! I get all those economists mixed up – as if I’d heard of any not referenced on The Colbert Report and in fact I originally thought this was a French guy’s concept)

(**And let’s not even go there…)

Stupidest blog post of the year

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The dogsitter left her cell phone on my kitchen counter. She’ll pick it up tomorrow but until then it beeps approximately every 2 minutes. I am close to going spacefuck crazy listening to this. I can’t imagine how the dogs made it through 3 hours. Argh.

(ah, yes, – vapid as always)

ETA: If I hide the phone in the freezer will that break it?

New Favorite Words

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So, I have two words I am currently using way too much:

1) Devastating, as in “The last thirty minutes of Atonement were devastating” or “OMG, the ending of that Carly Simon song was devastating.” If I knew how to blog via text message, I would have used both of these sentences already. Apparently, everything is devastating. That probably means something, but I don’t know what.

2) Fuckery, a word I used a day or two ago to describe Gene’s un-raise. Here is a not-safe-for-work sentence using this word: “If that biotch at work doesn’t stop that personal phone call fuckery, I will throw a stapler at her.” You can thank for that – lately, the guy who runs the site hasn’t been able to write three straight posts without using it.

Elaine’s Super Bowl…

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It’s Oscar night! Yeeeeeaaaah!

(Good news: I finally have seen all of the Best Picture nominees from last year’s ceremony and I can say that you should totally watch Atonement if only because the last 30 minutes will absolutely slay you)

Anyway…I could never be cool enough to live blog the entire ceremony, so I’m going to simply say that the joke in the opening act about the “Craigslist Dancers!” cracked me up.

(And what the hell is up with Mickey Rourke? He is CREEPY)

Give me back my White Dog…

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So, I took White Dog to the Apple Store because the touchpad is squirrely about responding. And, instead of saying “You’re a crackhead, this computer is fine”, they KEPT IT. Argh. The Apple store is a 30-ish minute drive from our house so I will probably not be able to retrieve it until Saturday. Until it returns, I am using The Boy’s laptop.

Oh, White Dog, come home soon.

(Admittedly, the screen on this thing is HUGE, and that’s not bad)

It was mortifying, though. I hadn’t realized how dirty White Dog’s screen is. It was the technical equivalent to wearing dirty underwear to the hospital. Sheesh.