There is so much fun to be had!

Home from our trip to MD to visit the newborn and the oldborn.


Anyway, I came home alone as Gene is spending the week in NJ. I have so many things to do!

1) Eat something besides donuts and M&Ms

2) Catch up on Facebook. (Huh? Facebook gets the red underlining that means I have misspelled a word?? Get with the program, WordPress!)

3) Catch up on emails.

4) PICK UP DOGS. Was supposed to leave 20 minutes ago; instead, find myself trying to do everything at once because…


(and I don’t have to cook for an entire mfing week!)

I have stories to tell! No, not interesting stories. I think my point earlier in this post just about says it all.

I am…

100% batshit crazy and there are no two ways about it.

Cuh-ray-zee, people.

I just spent a ridiculous amount of the day obsessing about saving money. A good thing, right? Not if it’s on stuff I don’t need!

(Well, OK, “don’t need” is debatable in this case but just wait)

So, I hate cleaning. I miss my cleaning lady. I cannot tell you how long I went without having to mop a thing because of her. And then Unraise #1 happened (Gene’s, 5%) and bye bye cleaning lady. (I don’t think this deserves sympathy, BTW – I am cuhrazy, not delusional!). And now I’m back on mop duty. For example, I mopped last weekend and within an hour there were muddy paw prints everywhere. AUGH.

So now I’m looking for a Better Idea: enter the steam mop. But noooo, I can’t just buy the first one I see. I have to comparison shop myself to death – the Shark? the Hoover Envirocleaner? Fortunately, I was able to get a recommendation from the Almighty D (whose mom bought her one). But now, where do I buy it from? Amazon has it for $99 but that is Not Good Enough – surely there exists a coupon for some online store! So I go to, a website I glance at more or less daily. And those crazies are all abuzz about this Cash Back thing. I like cash!

(Holy shit am I ever boring. Okay, let’s resort to bullet points or else I’ll be here all night).

* cashback is confusing!

* Got overwhelmed trying to figure out and put away laptop. Gene actually had to convince me to try again. This is not normal.

* Cheapest price is at ($69 after cash back) but does it include pads for the steam cleaner? Find online customer service department, IM with “Arthur” who says there are no pads in it at all.

* Got overwhelmed trying to find a slightly more expensive seller who definitely includes the pads. Put away laptop again. Gene keeps asking “Did you order it?”. That is DEFINITELY not normal.

* Hung out in kitchen with Gene, who was cooking dinner. Did the math, realized that even if Overstock’s version includes no pads and I have to order them from or similar I am still coming out ahead. Order from Overstock before I change my mind. Again.

And then I read a thread on SlickDeals about buying a front loading washer and dryer from using this cash back thing and in the end the SET is less than $900. I am so impressed by this that I am trying to figure out a) how to duplicate this and b) how to come up with $900.  Y’all. I do not need a washer. Or a dryer. And I definitely do not have $900 but it is still sooooo tempting.

(Maybe it’s a good thing I cancelled my Visa card).

(And the kicker to this whole Bing cash back thing – now they’re trying to say I only get 4% back instead of 16%, so it’s becoming less and less of a deal).

Gene’s birthday

So, Gene’s birthday was Monday. I won’t tell you how old he is because then he’d look like a major cradle robber, being married to a 29 year old. I will just tell you he was born during Woodstock. Except not at Woodstock.

(:::Pauses to consider Blanche at Woodstock:::  )

(Ha ha ha).

Anyway, I took the day off of work. I spent the morning at the Nissan dealership (oil change! filter change! something or other cleaning! $200 and change! Whee!) and of course at Dr. P’s office (see separate ranting post). (Except I left out the part where my appointment was for 10:45 and I didn’t even get out of the Waiting Room of Doom until 11:30).

And then Gene and I went shooting. He’s a membership of a local wildlife association (don’t worry, we didn’t shoot anything but targets, and believe me, the targets got the worst of it). I shot big guns and I did pretty well. I don’t like guns, but I do think that when I have shot them it gives me a respect for what they can do. And I know one thing: I do not want to get shot. Holy cow that must hurt. It’s hard enough pulling the friggin’ trigger.

And, I made a birthday cake for Gene that we started eating on Saturday. It was this cake and it was delightful. I made it from scratch. Yes, really. The recipe calls for cake flour, but I couldn’t find any. I should probably have looked longer, but the cake was still good. (Oh, and while I was baking the cake, Gene bought me a bouquet of flowers. Yay!)


So I saw Dr. P Monday. First of all, ob/gyn offices should have two waiting rooms: one for the Knocked Up and one for the Not Knocked, because sitting there surrounded by gestating ladies just makes me sad.

Anyway. Dr. P clearly has his head up his own ass. He complimented me on losing weight* (WTF? I just had to buy new underwear because my gut is too big for my current size). And, regarding the title of this post, blah blah blah wait for followup in October.


The Reproductive Endocrinology Associates of Cheesecake City are having a meet n’ greet next Tuesday. I am sorely tempted to go and meet n’ greet. (And I would not greet them with “KNOCK ME UP!!!”. Promise). I just am beginning (ha, beginning?) to feel like it’s time to go play in the big leagues. Maybe it’s time to see a Specialist and say “Here are the problems, here is a giant stack of cash, fix this problem.” (ha, giant stack of cash!) Maybe it’s time to stop dicking around (ha ha…) and go for something that maybe is a sure thing. Or at least surer.

* Maybe I have lost weight compared to when I was rocking 223 pounds of LaineyD, but I am still fat fat fat.

and this…

is why I do not like to take the day off of work.

Don’t get me wrong. I adore not being at work. Mahjobiscrappis, right? But if I take Monday off, it makes Tuesday four times harder to scrape myself out of bed and into an acceptable work attitude (a/k/a Snow White, as D and I call it). And today is Payroll Wednesday (not payday, that is on Tuesday, by which time the rigors of actually processing payroll have made me numb to actually enjoying the little blue scrap of paper that represents 85% of my current worth). So you know I really don’t want to have to go in to the office today.

There was once that commercial about herding cats (it was for a company that may or may not employ my husband). I can honestly say that doing payroll feels that way, but the cats have been lobotomized and there are 160 of them. On the bright side, our payroll provider has changed our rep – yes, that is seriously a good thing – and while it’s not the Uber Rep who helped set us up last year (drat!), I have hope that she will be helpful in dealing with my 10,000 problems. A day. (Perhaps there are 161 lobotomized cats after all).

I am well. I hope all is well with you, too.

bad sign…

I just had to hunt through 4 different “Favorites” menus in Safari (my web browser of choice) before I could find my link to post in my own blog.

In better news, the Great Black and Brown Hunter (a/k/a Betty) killed a rabbit today. And left it behind my chair. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Fortunately, Gene handled disposal. Eek.

And in TRULY better news: Gene got a phone call yesterday from a lady reporting that she had our dogs – black and brown dogs – and that one of them was badly injured. The dogs had tags from the suburb’s police department. They had the same personalized collars (with names and phone #s) that Betty & Scooby have. (That is, the collars had OUR phone #s on them, just different dog names).

“M’am,” Gene says, “I can see my dogs right here.”
How did these impostor dogs get collars with our phone # on them? Weird! I hope the injured dog is safe, but I am enough of an asshole to admit that I am glad the dogs were not ours. When I got home (the lady called 3 minutes before I leave work), Gene was lying in the dog bed, holding both dogs like his life depended on it. (Awwwwwwwww).

Greetings, peeps!

(Eeeew, peeps are so gross)

How are you? I am fine. I am sorry for the lack of posting…unless you read the blog when I had a new post up a few days ago that I later saved again as a draft, in which case I assure you I am fine.

I miss television. Yeah, I know, everyone but me watches almost no TV, and it’s funny but I always thought I was pretty spare about watching TV but it turns out I totally love television. We cancelled our Dish Network membership and I miss TV. We are watching some things on the networks’ websites or on, but it seems sacreligous to watch stuff on a teeny little laptop screen when we have HUGE televisions. I can see one of them right now!

(oh, Chelsea Lately, oh John Stewart, oh Stephen Colbert, how I miss thee. thees? whatever).

(BTW, we’re not broke, we are just trying to save money. Promise)

In other news, I’m seeing my ob/gyn next Monday to have a tiny little “WANT BABY NOW” conversation. Plan B is another topic for another time, though.