Mahjobiscrappis: A New Chapter (?)

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(The chapter, BTW, is #11 of the Bankruptcy Code. Chapter 11 is not as serious as Chapter 7 – it’s more a reorganization tactic than a death sentence, theoretically).

So, fun is when your payroll provider calls you and says, “So I hear your company filed bankruptcy. How do you plan to pay for your payroll?”

(The answer, BTW, is “We plan to pay for our payroll with $$$ so we can continue to have glorious things like a payroll clerk”). (Because if they can’t ‘make’ payroll, I plan to vacate immediately).

I told Gwen, my boss, this and she said that I couldn’t up n’ quit if I wanted unemployment.

(SERIOUSLY, Gwen? I didn’t think you could get more myopic than telling me that I wouldn’t feel so bad about not having a baby if I were religious).

(Or the time you asked if I’d heard of adoption).

I spent yesterday forehead deep in the Essence of Futility (entering invoices into the Accounts Payable software that we will never pay). It’s sad, guys. Every invoice from before the date the company filed won’t get paid. Some of these vendors are small companies and we owe them thousands of dollars. (Some of them are HUGE companies and we owe them tens of thousands).

Gwen has pretty much told me that she won’t stand in my way if I choose to quit (umm, I think denying me unemployment = standing in my way, boss) but that she hopes I will stay. So I do plan to stay, mostly because it’s still a paycheck (..::crosses fingers::..), I still get to hang out w/ The Almighty D (when time allows – yesterday we went to Walgreens for chocolate and it was the highlight of my working week), I have over 4 weeks of time off to use, and I have no place else to go. Yet.

But, there will always be another pink collar job out there. Plus, I realized earlier today that if the company goes under, there is literally nothing tying us to Cheesecake City (if we can sell the house). I’ve thought for awhile that we needed to get out of this house, so maybe this could be the push we need. Who knows?

D asked me the other day how I was so calm about all of this. I told her it was partially an illusion but that I had enough chocolate to get me through the week. This morning, I was taking my two-shot (generic Wellbutrin XL and generic Zoloft) and I realized, “Hmm. I bet that helps too.”

Life Lessons

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(By which I mean, “Things I just figured out that everyone else has known for years”)

* If you are boiling water (for pasta, etc), fill the pan with hot water. (I was so thrilled when I figured this out last year, but it turns out I’d heard it on Hell’s Kitchen before that).

* When the masseuse asks how much pressure you like, don’t be a hero and say “I’m not a baby!”. And if you do, have the guts to speak up and say “AHHHHHHHHH, less pressure!!!!!!!” So much of the massage (using a gift card that was a birthday gift from Gene) was really lovely but I think she brought in an elephant for the part where she worked on my back because owwwwwwwwww.

You’re welcome. Now go into the world and be smarter than me.

I need a hobby

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I need something to do as a hobby. I like to read. I like to watch movies. I loooove to write (you don’t say, Elaine!). But I need a new hobby that’s not reading online baby forums, reading infertility/baby/mommy blogs*, looking at baby gear online. Plan B is over and it was all for nothing so now I need to move on if I am ever going to be truly happy.

Also, this new hobby can’t be computer related. I want to write more but it’s too easy to start something and then get distracted by something shiny (Babycenter for example) and the next thing you know, Gene’s been out of town two weeks and I haven’t written 5 words. (Not that that ever happened. Repeatedly. Arrrrrgh).

Gene and I have discussed this (although I didn’t have the heart to bring up the Plan B angle to him, he can probably guess) and some of our ideas are to walk the dogs more, play with the Wii, and try camping (in a cabin – no need to get crazy). I also want to investigate getting my Certified Payroll Professional certification (although if I’d been hired for the job I interviewed for earlier this year, they would have made that process a great deal cheaper) and maybe some kind of craft (knitting? is embroidery a craft?). I do not want a hobby where I get dirty or sweaty or have to talk in public (Gene suggested Toastmasters….eeesh). Hmmm. Meditation?

(*Other than a few favorites, of course – Hi Erin!)

Where have I BEEN?

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I guess it’s been awhile since I posted, huh?

That said, my birthday weekend w/ Mom feels like it happened months ago. I think that part of why I haven’t written lately is that I am still upset that Kansas lost to Northern Iowa. I mean, Northern Iowa??? That game happened when Mom was in town and we watched the last 10 or so minutes (on the laptop), cringing the whole time. We also watched the last few minutes of the Purdue game at the restaurant we went to for my birthday dinner.

We really had a great time and I feel bad that I haven’t written about it. (Hope your feelings aren’t hurt, Mom!) Mom loved IKEA (at least the meatballs) so much that we walked through it twice. Maybe two and a half times. We also walked all around the outlet mall another day and part of a regular mall another day.

I was pretty certain that I was going to dislocate a hip, we walked so much. (Oh, and we also walked the dogs on a long route through my neighborhood, which they loved). Mom, on the other hand, did all of that walking PLUS played with our Wii Fit PLUS walked on the treadmill. Seriously. One night we all went to bed and I hear noise upstairs in the guest room. The next morning Mom announces that she made her own Mii and played with the Wii Fit. We went to bed at midnight. Mom cannot be stopped!

(Thankfully she still helped us put major dents in the cakes plus once or twice a day she’d sit down with a mini cupcake or two. She is my mother after all!)

So, that was my birthday. (Except for the huge bag of bargain books from Books-A-Million that Mom and Dad got me for my birthday, which I am still working my way through and probably will be for awhile). (And!!!! My dad sent along a birthday present for me, which was a Fleetwood Mac concert poster that he found on eBay searching for Eric Clapton. That was such a sweet gift!)

Work is work – Stefania was out of the office all of last week so I was Accounts Payable for a week. I have more respect for her than I ever thought possible – how does she not drink at her desk every day??? Two days into last week I was ready to start stabbing people and by day four I begged Gwen to not make me help accounting anymore. (She said no. Grrrr). So, between the A/P Week and being off for Good Friday (ha! I worked from 9 am until 2 pm anyway) I am so. freaking. behind. (Seriously, Gwen, all I wanted was a few freaking days where I could focus on the awesome reports you make me put together so everyone can ignore them – is that so wrong?).

In entertainment news, Couples Retreat suuuucked. So disappointed. Vince Vaughn as a family man isn’t just fiction, it’s science fiction! I am embarrassed to admit it but I love to listen to the stupid pop station on the radio in hopes that they will play Lady Gaga or Ke$ha. Oh, and we have watched all three seasons of Arrested Development. The first season was great and the other two were not bad. And did I tell you I watched the first season of Californication using Netflix Instant Queue? I hope they put the other seasons on the Instant Queue because I really liked it.

And the dogs – Scooby had his annual vet visit today and – shocker! – he’s getting old. The vet said that one of his teeth may have to be pulled eventually. Beyond that, he is fine – good ears, no fleas, etc. The vet’s office is so fraking expensive. Booper is also doing well although she is slowing down a little too and we need to talk to the vet about her legs when she has her annual visit later this year. Love the puppies, so glad we have ’em. There was a picture on the wall at the vet’s office of a whippet who was a patient there who lived for 15 years. It’s shocking to think that we adopted both dogs as puppies and now we’re almost halfway through the best case scenario, life wise.

Finally – tomorrow is Macauley/Bill and Michelle’s baby shower. (Wasn’t it like 3 weeks ago that you guys called and said “We’re pregnant! Don’t tell Mom!”). Unfortunately, I wa$ not able to attend but I sent a Chicco travel system in my place. (And a surprise dilly present, muah ha ha).

And, nothing new on the topics of Plan B or The Boy.

I am fine, hope you are too.