I don’t know when I’m going to take my Super Hard Payroll Exam yet. I (through the subterfuge-iest of subterfurges) figured out that the exam center in Cheesecake City’s last test date is October 6. I need to get that nailed down ASAP, but first I need to apply for the test. And then I need to somehow get a company credit card to pay for the exam (which is, at $360, at least $360 more than I am willing to personally spend). And then I need to pass a “pre-test” or they won’t let me take the test.
But first I need to study for the exam, which I have only barely started to do in earnest. I spent an hour studying yesterday and an hour or so today, not counting when I passed out while trying to read a chapter about health insurance. It all reminds me why I’m glad I did the college thing when I was fresh out of high school because other wise I wouldn’t have made it.
I hate this stupid test.
I hate studying for it.
I hate that they cancelled my study group so now I’m left pursuing the crumbs of whatever help I can amass.
I hate that it is important to my career in Big Payroll.
I hate that I had to create a fake person to even see the testing schedule because apparently I registered for an ID for the testing company’s website, but I no longer know my username or password and it was apparently vitally important that I know all of this at 11 o’clock at night. (Let’s chalk this up to an “Elaine as I Love Lucy” moment, like the time I tried to fish mail out of the mailbox at work due to being an idiot).
I hate that I’m not disciplined enough to study for this test for real, that I keep getting distracted by bright and shiny objects like dinner, cleaning up after dinner, watching an episode of Mad Men (on Netflix), etc. I knew some girls in college who went to a full time group of classes, were in a sorority and also on a ton of committees. I envied them, I wanted to be like them, but I am not like them. I’m the girl who (still) says “OMG, Target AND the grocery store? And vacuuming the living room too? In a single weekend? Ugh, better rest up…”
I so need to get my act together. The sooner this all happens the better, but not quite yet. I need at least another couple weeks for studying and cramming and going over the material some more. I know some of this just because I’ve ‘done’ payroll for the last decade, but there is so much! Augh.
And it does. not. help. that I keep getting mixed messages from a coworker. Here’s a conversation we had via IM last week
Her: “How’s studying for the exam going?”
Me: “It’s OK. They cancelled my study group” – I told her this thinking she’d say “Oh no, that’s foolish, you NEEEED the study group – would you do brain surgery without going to medical school first? No, of course not, let’s hold off on this for another testing cycle!”
Her: “Oh, that study group is silly. They go over the entire book and not just the stuff that’s on the test”
Me, dumbfounded: “Well, Coworker J has offered to help quiz me a little, hopefully that will help”
Her: “Oh, she’s the one who wants to go over the entire book!”
Me, horrified and considering smashing head into wall: “Oh.”
And at work itself, where I’m supposed to be able to study for the exam (a little!), they have just decided to start shipping extra phone calls in the direction of my group. Yay.
The good news (says the eternal optimist) is that a month after the exam (win or lose, pass or fail) I get to go to Vegas. Hopefully by then I’ll have sobered up a little because this thing is driving me to drink.