20 years ago

Yes, its time for another serving of Tales of Little LaineyD…
20 years ago, my mom and I went to see Fleetwood Mac perform in Indianapolis. Except for the shoes, I remember every stitch I had on. Before the show we had dinner at the restaurant attached to the venue, where we had the honor of hearing the roadies do the sound check.
I’ve always preferred Christine McVie, the Melanie to Stevie Nicks’s Scarlett O’Hara
(Did you see what I did there? It’s a Fleetwood Mac slash Gone With the Wind casserole, just for you).
(Ok, nevermind, it’s probably just a thing only a huge dweeb like me gets).
The concert was so awesome. I saw them again about 10 years ago and it was good but not as exciting. I think it was me, not them. Something like a concert is the biggest thing when you’re 14 and whacked out on hormones (and a little extra crazy besides).

Hmm. Wait a minute…I saw them in 1990, not 1991. Did I just lose an entire year?? LOL. Maybe my 4 days of pretending to be retired has given me early onset Alzheimers.

Thankful ’11

This year, what am I thankful for?
I’m thankful for my husband. This year has been tough but it’s on the upswing. I’m hopeful that this holiday season will be  the best one in the last few years.
I’m thankful for my job. I’m pretty sure I won’t retire from Big Payroll, but it’s ok for right now.
I’m thankful for my family. I miss you all but I’m planning my next trip to Indiana for March.
I’m thankful for my friends, who are so much fun to talk to. I don’t know what I’d do without you. I see Denise infrequently and Brandy even less but there’s never a worry about picking up and making up for lost time.
And finally I’m thankful for my sweet puppies. They love me even when I’m distracted (I think I passed my certification because Betty was such a good and furry study buddy).

So, that’s this year’s list. Happy Thanksgiving!

Better here than Facebook…

I want a puppy for Xmas. What the hell is wrong with me? I finally am in the process of un-breaking Scooby Doo (how the hell did he get scabies? And could I have contracted it from him?) and now I get this yen?? WTF?

(Seriously, scabies is the second worst thing ending in -abies that you can have; rabies, of course, is the worst and babies is the best).

Ugh, I am so weird.

The good thing is that Scooby is already feeling better. The vet (the good vet this time, not Dr. Lady Mullet, not to say that Dr. Lady Mullet is a bad vet, she’s just not as capital-A Awesome as the Good Vet) gave him a shot of something that helped tremendously as well as a 30 day supply of some sort of pills and a prescription for a different heart worm drug called Revolution. His office was out of Revolution so he gave me a written prescription.

Two problems:

1) Do you know what a pain in the ass it is to find Revolution for Dogs in the right size in a brick and mortar store or vet’s office. Impossible!

2) Do you know what a pain in the ass it is to order Revolution for Dogs from one of the major pet medicine websites? Huge pain. First you order the stuff, then you have to mail (yes, as in, find a stamp and an envelope and mail it somewhere) the prescription. And then you have to wait, so instead of your dog feeling even better super quick, it’ll be sometime next week before this freaking stuff arrives. Yay.

Awww, crap

It’s Sunday afternoon, isn’t it? Dammit. Can I have more time off please? Can I perhaps trick Gene into letting me be a stay at home dog owner? This past week off was really lovely (even though in my heart of hearts I would rather have been in Las Vegas, dammit) and I am so not ready to return to work. This coming week is a 3 day work week (viva Black Friday!), which is great but Year End is lurking around the corner. I think the 4 day weekend (the only one that my employer believes in, BTW) is a trick to get us all to think “Ahh, four day weekend! Life is awesome! Work is awesome!” so it’s easier to smack us in the face with a Year End shaped 2 by 4 (2×4? Regardless, I’m going to end up bruised and wood chips out of my teeth).

Thursday, I drove Gene to a doctor’s appointment and guess what I did while he was there? I drove to work (which was literally across the street from his doctor’s office) so I could cobble together a client’s file because I forgot to tell anyone about it. Actually, that’s a big lie. I remembered, I just didn’t feel like explaining to anyone why we do this; the answer is

:: shrug :: “I dunno”

And my boss Belinda does not like that answer. If it were up to her we would do no extra stuff for clients at all. Admittedly the file is pretty easy to put together (although I suspect it would take Broomhilda an hour and 47 phone calls to me to figure it out) so really the client  should do it her own darn self but… well, the client more or less screamed for this file earlier this year and so I do it for her every week.

(Freaking weekly payrolls).

The good news about this week is that I will be so crazy busy that hopefully I won’t have time to complain, even to myself. Or maybe I’ll show up tomorrow and get fired for not telling my team about the client with the file, or the necessity of running a report every day to tell us who we need to nag about their payroll. Hmm. Yeah, I should probably have done that. I also think I didn’t tell anyone about running empty payrolls when clients don’t need a preexisting check date.

Oh boy! Now instead of dreading returning to work I’m also super anxious about it. YAY. (Speaking of anxious, my search for a therapist hasn’t gone anywhere, so good luck to me with finding a doctor who’s nearby, accepts my insurance, has evening hours and can deal with my effed up schedule for the next 120 or more days).

(Then again, if I get fired then I will be less anxious and my schedule will open up tremendously).

More Fox News

Since we don’t have cable at home, I have really enjoyed watching tv at grandpa’s house. We watch a lot of Fox News (he’s old and there’s a law – do you know any 89 year olds who watch MSNBC? No, because there are none) and I have realized that all of the women on the channel have crazy eyes. Possibly due to Botox.

In other related news, grandpa calls Greta Van Susteren his girlfriend. I don’t care what happens but I’ll never call her grandma. I’ve debated telling him she’s a Scientologist but I’m not sure if I’m up for explaining why that’s bad or what that even is.

I will post more later when I make my triumphant return to Cheesecake City. Typing long words on a virtual keyboard is hard…do you know how many tries it took to get Susteren and Scientologist spelled right? A lot.

The good news is that I brought White Dog with me on this trip and Gene fixed Silver Dog. Then again, did he fix it by loading Windows 7 on it? Shudder.

Things I’ve learned from Fox News…

…The president is awful (secret service, I disagree so please do not wrestle me away)
…Fox News viewers are obsessed with “cash into gold”, class action lawsuits, erectile dysfunction medications and Rick Perry
…which reminds me: in his ad, Rick Perry refers to himself as a ‘do-er’ and every time I see it, I’m convinced he is going to call himself a douche. So much for truth in advertising.

Greetings from Arkansas

So, I’m on vacation. Here are some things that have happened..so far. (Also, my internet access is entirely from my phone so this will be short)
1) met weird lady @ Atlanta who felt the need to comment on every news story on headline news
2) had cinnabon @ cheesecake airport, used plastic fork missing one or two tines. If I mysteriously perish in the next week, please tell CSI to check for pieces of plastic fork.
3) sat next to a man on the flight to little rock who looked like my dad and grandpa. Talked to him the entire flight and it was very interesting. Sample discussion: guy says that his wife told him he’d better pursue his retirement dream of being a truck driver now as there are no trucks in heaven. I respond that I disagree because surely mechanics go to heaven so what do they do w/ their time?
(Guy either liked my point or was one of those really nice Christians who is too nice to tell me to stfu).

More later.

Silver Dog Nouveau…

So, remember awhile ago when I wrote that it might be time to look into replacing White Dog (my beloved MacBook)? I think it was around Memorial Day, when Gene and I drove downy to the Apple store to let the Genius Bar take a look. I was flipping out again about the power cord.

(Note to self: You actually went through 4 power cords with White Dog, including the one that Apple swapped out for free that day)

Well, yesterday was the day to replace White Dog. Earlier this year Apple revealed that they were no longer going to sell the MacBook and that they were more into selling the MacBook Air, starting at the same price point as I paid for White Dog.  The Air, while beautiful and thin, seems so … flimsy. And there’s no CD-ROM drive (not that I use it often, but it’s a good thing to have for the random time I want to watch a DVD and cannot commandeer the XBox or one of the other devices in the house for that purpose).

So, instead I bought a 13 inch silver MacBook Pro, Silver Dog. I was able to use a feature called Migration Assistant to move everything – including my wallpaper (Blanche holding my older nephew) and my super outdated version of Safari (web browser) – to the new Silver Dog. It was a little tricky figuring the migration out – somehow the little bit of stuff I wanted to move over required 5 hours to migrate so I was the loon Googling “migration assistant problem” at 4:30 this morning. (I couldn’t sleep because of an itchy ear, it wasn’t really an attack of the crazies). Turns out the trick is to not let either computer go to “sleep” during this process.

In other news, only two more days of work before vacation. Woot. In other news, OMG I only have two more days to get a LOT of work done before I’m gone for a week. Yikes!

The stuff I forgot to write yesterday

1) The word “stuff” makes me think of the word “stuf” as in Double Stuf Oreos. Mmm. I have also tried the Trader Joes version, the Joe-Joe, which is also good. I wonder if I can talk Gene into making a return trip to Trader Joes on Saturday after we drop the dogs at the groomers? Mmm. The problem is is that there is another hippie grocery store across the parking lot from my office (and a good 20 minutes closer than TJs) so we’ve been going there instead. (Yes, the Target boycott is still in effect).

2) And yes, I still miss Target. Mostly for the frozen Cokes.

3) I sped-read all three Hunger Games books in about a week and a half. I had barely finished the first one (which I borrowed from the library) before I went ahead and ordered the second and third books for my Kindle (or, my Kindle app on my phone and on White Dog). So good. The first movie comes out the day after my birthday in March so I think there’s a pretty good chance I am going to force a certain husband of mine to attend a midnight showing 😉 (OK, maybe not).

4) And yes, if you haven’t read them, you should. For no other reason than to get the taste of the Twilight saga out of your mouth. (Ptooey).

5) So, remember what I wrote last night about ‘working off the clock to make myself feel some peace’? Yeah. So I did that tonight, worked until 6:45 (only the last 45 minutes were off the clock of course) and felt amazing until I got home and sat down and it all crept in. I had four tasks to complete. Finished one of them (they got to go first because the client called and read me the mfing riot act), got about 90% done on another (just have to pull the trigger once I verify that the client understands that they will have to pay ~$200 for us to amend a tax return), and glanced a little at the third. The fourth, arguably the biggest, remains untouched. Boss returns from her trip on Monday so maybe I’ll luck out and manage to get it all done tomorrow.

6) Fumbling towards getting back into therapy. My old therapist is rather booked up so I have left a message with another doctor, whose specialty is Life After Infertility. What’s making me crazy isn’t really the infertility thing, but it’s always there anyway. What I really want from therapy is for someone to say “Hmm, yes, your work situation is awful. Quit immediately and get a job folding tshirts at Kohls.” Doctor’s orders, right?

7) It’s not that I’m eager to work for minimum wage, but spending my work day folding tshirts and organizing stock at Kohl’s sounds so relaxing. No one would ask me how questions, no constant phone calls, emails, etc. I could probably pretend to be mute. I would never wake up at 5:30 in the morning for weeks on end worrying, “Did I remember to put the blue shirts next to the brown pants?” Is it wrong that my idea of a happy place is envisioning an entirely tidy dressing room at a department store? What if I point out how much I hate to clean at home?

8) My team lead said something fairly rude today to Broomhilda and my first thought was “Aww, crap, I’m going to be alone with Broom for an hour or so later today and all she’s going to want to do is bitch about that.” I was right. I had an hour off the clock to try and get Huge Things Done and instead I had to help her out with her crises and listen to her complain about what the team lead said. I could have finished another item off my to-do list of To-Doom if it hadn’t been for that. Ugh!

9) For the record, I think team lead was about 30% in the right and 70% in the wrong. Tomorrow’s his last day and I’m not sure why he picked today to be the day to get all leader-y and why he picked that particular topic to be the Hill to Die On. As of tomorrow by about 5:30 our team will be down another member (down to 5 from 6, originally 8, members), and with it goes about 30% of the brain power. Look at it this way: Not counting Boss Belinda, I’ll be the most senior member of our team.

No gnus is good gnus

(Surely I’ve used that blog title post before?)


The latest:

Work, work, work, work. I dream about work sometimes and I’ve come to the realization that sometimes working off the clock is OK if it means that I can feel some peace. I have a list of four or five really huge tasks that I’d like to get done before my vacation, in case the clients call and ask about it while I’m out. I really don’t want to come back to find out that my boss has figured out that I haven’t done anything yet. My boss is out the rest of the week so it’s an ideal time to get caught up.

Vacation – Vegas is off (::sigh::) so instead I’m visiting family in Arkansas for half the week and trying to relax the second half of the week. All I really want is to relax, because I know that the next 5 months is going to be very tough.