Blah blah, LinkedIn, forced to join by boss, blah blah kiss ass bullshit, blah blah friending people there sucks. Blah blah too many emails, blah blah “Who the hell are you?” Blah blah Aloooooooone.
Oh and my worst fear about LinkedIn is that if I change my job title because of my new promotion it’ll fire off an email to all my LinkedIn friends “Congratulate Elaine on her new job!” and I’m afraid that they’ll mistakenly email the company and say “Thank GOD you finally fired that dumb Elaine girl!” Ugh, I know I would.
So anyway, I have joined Pinterest (and I just had the worst time spelling that word, even though it is literally one tab away from this tab on my browser), albeit under an assumed name. Sometimes, after a tough day of payroll fuckery (autocorrect, what the hell? Stop correcting “fuckery” to “fakery” – neither is an actual word! Let It Go!) and other assorted crap (oh the stories I would tell if this wasn’t so…public) I really enjoy going there.
1) For the absurdly delicious looking baked goods and other food things. Peanut butter, chocolate, cake, cupcake, frosted, cheesy, potatoes, whatever. (On an unrelated note, I am starving right now).
2) To scratch my head over people who think the solution to all of life’s problems comes in painting a pallet and making it into a swing, a table, a planter, a nuclear reactor, whatevs. Or buying mason jars from the Dollar Tree and turning them into “thrifty and beautiful wedding centerpieces”. And someone even pinned a method to make buttons using only a mile of yarn and a plastic O-shaped circle. You knit the button. Really? I’m going to come home from spending the day trying to not stab myself in the face with a knitting needle and instead knit a button? No I’m not. I’m going to the Dollar Tree instead and buying buttons there because I am not as batshit crazy as that person.
3) I do find it tremendously helpful to look up dresses, houses, etc when I’m writing. It will also help me when I write a World Famous Novel and Hollywood Wants to Make a Movie Out Of It.
4) My favorite thing to do on Pinterest and probably the entire Internet is to go through the “Everything” board and find the weight loss scam pins and report them to Pinterest for being spammers. When I don’t have the energy for Canasta, for Words With Friends, for blogging (duh), I always always have the energy for narcing. Am I a huge goody two shoes? Yeah. Am I a mean bitch? Definitely. Am I crazy enough to knit my own buttons? Nope.
So, here’s what is up with me in no particular order:
1) Saw my dermatologist last week, she’s advocating coal tar as this visit’s miracle cure for my psoriasis. Guess what smells terrible? Coal tar. On the bright side, it is working I think. I’ve got coal tar lotion, some kind of mystery goop and pine tar soap. I am totally kicking it 1830s style here. I smell like the service department at a car dealership.
2) Speaking of skin, the doctor also advocates me getting some sunshine as it will also help. You know you are one fucked up person when your dermatologist is recommending you get sun. (Or maybe she’s just banking that I’ll end up with melanoma so she can make her boat payment in a couple years). She told me to get out in the sun at exactly noon every day. What?? First of all, what are the odds of me escaping the office for lunch at noon ever? And where am I supposed to sunbathe at the office? (Never mind, I just figured that one out). So far I have made it out at noon once this week and the closest I could get to sunbathing is propping my feet up on the car dashboard while eating McDonalds.
3) Work is, well, worky. I have probably explained that every email we receive at work is turned into a “case” and since most of my coworkers are
nitwits inexperienced, most of the cases end up with me. Hence, I have approximately 120 “cases” assigned to me, which is officially more than the rest of my (former) team combined. Unnnngh. Working tomorrow, BTW.
4) On the bright side, I think I love my new role at work. I have an awesome boss. Now if I could just get smart enough to do my job. More about this later.
5) And now to move backwards…my visit with Mom and Dad (when then visited Cheesecake City) was wonderful. We had some yummy meals out, did some shopping, and circled the Kabletown Arena about a zillion times waiting for Dad to come out of the Eric Clapton concert. It is very rare that I get my parents to myself (which is understandable since I moved 800ish miles away) but it was just so great to have them in town.
6) Breaking news: Sitting on the porch swing (sunning my ankles) and I think Sadie just ate a bee. Holy crap. She is one hardcore mutt.
(First Day in New Job! New Desk! Same Everything Else!)
1) Got to work early to catch up with stuff, prepare for back to back training sessions
2) Ran web meeting with client (which I’d totally forgotten about until I saw it in Outlook – “CALL CLIENT NOW!”)
3) Trained 1st client on new time and labor management system. Started late due to client lollygagging getting on the phone (15 minutes late! Urgh!)
4) Trained 2nd client on same new system. Made it to the section on tracking time off, prompting client to say “Yeahhh, this isn’t going to work for us.” They terminated service in the middle of the training class. What?!!!?!
5) Hmm. Gotta say, the client terminating service kinda ruined my day. Oh wells.