The Cheesecake is Rich

So, once upon a time, there was a boy named Gene and a girl named Elaine. They built a house in a mythical city named Cheesecake City. It was their first experience as homeowners and they were determined not to fill the house with disposable furniture – they wanted furniture that was built to last. Plus, Cheesecake City was within an hour drive of many many gigantic furniture stores, so they had their choice of everything. It’s not a lie to suggest that they spent months dragging themselves all around these stores, finding just the perfect items at each store, but deciding to go next door “just in case.” (They went “next door” several times). Finally, they found just the right sofa, end table, dining room table and chairs. And after they handed the happiest salesgirl in Cheesecake State a credit card, they ran like hell all the way home lest they change their minds. Again.

The furniture arrived a few months later (too late to host Xmas 2000, oh well) and all was well. It was a faaaaabulous showpiece of a home for many years, indeed hosting several Xmases. And then… and then… in walked two rescued beagles. Who sat on the couch. And jumped on the couch. And jumped off the couch. And twice jumped over the (back of the) couch. And shedded on the cushions. And chewed on the cushions. And, frankly, possibly infested the couch with something undetermined.

What I’m trying to say is that I had the good people of 1-800-Got-Junk to come over and take away the sofa (and a few other smaller items). Trust me when I say that it was not worth saving. Between this and the removal of the bedroom suite, I think we have less furniture than your average college student or homeless person. Seriously. After 800-Got-Junk left, I booked the next available appointment with Stanley Steamer – which was 20 minutes after I booked it. LOL. Anyway, the Stanley Steamer guy asked if I wanted any furniture cleaned and I laughed at him – “Dude, we are down to 1 upholstered chair now!”

What I can’t figure out is this: if 800-Got-Junk moved all the furniture and Stanley Steamer cleaned all the carpets, why am *I* so sore? I am considering trying to slum my way into a Sunday massage somewhere tomorrow because I am in pain! (Something must be wrong – I was dozing off as early as 5:30 tonight).

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