The Cheesecake is Rich

(or, Holy Hell, Academy – did you have to increase the Best Picture Nominees to 10?)

So, the movie theater showed all 10 Best Picture nominees today and last Saturday. If you’re thinking that’s a lot of movies, you are absolutely correct. If you’re also thinking, “Just how long does that take?” the answer is 20 hours and 2 minutes.

Last Saturday, the first movie up was Avatar in 3-D. I thought it was a pretty movie with a mediocre story.

Next was Up in the Air. We skipped it to run home and feed the dogs. Loved Up in the Air when Gene and some of my family saw it on Xmas Day. George Clooney just never looks anything but smokin’ hot, right? And Vera Farmiga is so pretty.

We made it back to the movie theater in time for Precious. Wow, that was the feel bad movie of the year, wasn’t it? Meanwhile, the acting was remarkable and if I were watching the Oscars tonight (stupid cancelled satellite dish, argh!) I would actually root for it to win Best Supporting Actress for the woman who played the mother.

Next up, the anti-Precious, The Blind Side (or, Precious + Plucky White Woman). This is Gene’s favorite of the Best Picture nominees – he said it stuck with him. I understand that this movie is based on a book – I would like to read it because I suspect there is more to the story. It was nice and heartwarming but it was so glossy that I felt like it was a Lifetime TV movie.

Finally on Day One, Inglourious Basterds. (Damn you Quentin Tarentino for not spelling your movie correctly!). I really really really really liked this. And I am not any kind of fangirl, believe me. I.B. was my favorite of the 10 movies.

Fortunately, we had an entire week to rest up for the second 5.

First up on Day Two was Up. Okay, I loved Up but the early part where the Old Man and his wife find out they can’t have kids made me cry (despite knowing the scene was coming), so Gene and I skipped it because that wound is salty enough without going for a second helping, thankyouverymuch. Instead, we went to lunch and my turkey, bacon and cheese sammich was yummy.

Next up, A Serious Man. Gene gave me a look when someone in the row behind us mentioned that the first 20 minutes of the movie is in (subtitled) Yiddish.  A Serious Man is a movie about a man from a cursed family – but it’s a comedy, really! – and how awful his life is – in a funny way! – including a scene where his ex-wife tries to get him to pay for her lover’s funeral. Had a surprisingly abrupt ending, although we were on a trajectory that made it pretty clear that a meteorite was going to land on the poor guy’s head or something. A number of the others who were taking part in the Best Picture Showcase did not enjoy this, but I did. Not sure about Gene.

The third movie that day was The Hurt Locker. Gene reallllllllllly wanted to see this when it came out and I am so so glad we didn’t see it during its early run (mostly because I wasn’t sure what to do if we had 3 more hours to kill at the mall). The movie was OK, not really my thing. It set the tension bar high about 5 minutes into the movie, so I was a bundle of nerves for two hours. Gene disliked the movie because he felt it was too liberal and unrealistic. Still don’t know what a hurt locker is. Perhaps I will ask Gene.

Fourth was An Education. Now, one of the things you may know about me is that I pretty much have a Ph.D in the study of Older Men and Younger Women in books, movies and music so An Education was absolutely My Thing. A month or two ago I actually debated calling into work so I could go to a theater way down in Cheesecake City and see a double bill of An Education and Nine. Anyway, it ended up being a great little movie although probably has no chance of winning Best Picture.

The last of the Best Picture nominees was District 9. Yes, we’ve seen it so we left after An Education. I kinda wish we’d stayed to see it again because traffic outside the mall was completely insane. I mean, terrifying. A minivan wanted our parking spot but we couldn’t go anywhere because a car near us was 1/4 in his parking spot and 3/4 hanging out in the aisle, talking to some teenagers. You know who goes to the mall on Saturday nights? IDIOTS, that’s who. I could go on, but let’s just agree that we made it home alive and that worst case scenario, I have life insurance. Anyway, District 9 was good and interesting and you should rent it or get it from Netflix or steal it from Target. However, it is also a movie that owes its Best Picture nomination to the Academy changing the Best Picture field from 5 movies to 10 (other movies that benefited from this, I think, were: An Education, A Serious Man, The Blind Side, Up and Up In the Air. Or maybe Inglorious Basterds).

So, there you have it. 10 movies, 2 days, 3 bags of popcorn.

(PS: Dear Academy: Please make a rule that no movie with obvious misspelling in the title can be nominated for Best Picture. Thank You).

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