(And yes, if I’d been the adult in charge I would have done it, of course…but I am merely a guest star in this episode of A Baby Story so, huzzah!)

G-Dawg is completely my favorite niece. (Yes, she’s also my only niece. But I’m my Auntie Lyn’s only niece so I’m HER favorite, too!). I hope to add her to my collection of Godchildren. Yes, I know. Godchildren, in this instance, really just means that Gene and I are legally responsible for children (other than the Boy) if something happens to Gene’s best friend and his wife. And while it makes a mockery of the religious use of the word “godparent” (I could go on from there but I know at least two of you take the whole Godparent thing seriously so I will stfu out of respect), I just look at it as building my Army of Children Not My Own. Like Angelina Jolie.

* I don’t know who equates to Turtle in this math problem but the concept amused me Thursday night when I started this post and it still amuses me now so it stays.

Yesterday’s annoyances:

1) Got to work early, but later than I’d planned since I was making an early exit and Boss Gwen wasn’t aware of it

2) Car service I’d scheduled for ride to airport did not materialize. Took hoopty cab to airport, cost more than car service, driven by cabbie who had to be coerced to pick up my suitcase. Tipped said cabbie for absolutely no good reason.

3) At Cheesecake Airport, sat next to older lady who would not shut up! Ugh, go buy a copy of People and let me enjoy my laptop (and free Wifi) in peace!

4) Flight from Cheesecake left late, got to Atlanta late (due to weather), 45 minute layover turned into two hours of pacing airport waiting for it to reopen (closed due to weather). Made it to Indiana about 11:30 instead of before 10:00. Mother Nature, phhhhhfffffffttttt.

5) Seatmate on flight from Atlanta stole my cookies! And was not respectful of the “Keep your damn self on your side of the arm rest!” rule.  Isn’t that a universal rule? If I don’t know you, I don’t want to be touched by you. (Oh and!! when she brushed off the crumbs of MY COOKIES she brushed them onto me! Rude!) (And she took any unclaimed packages of cookies she saw as we exited the plane). (Ahem)

Good Things That Happened Yesterday (in order of happening):

1) Dad met me at the airport. It is so nice to be met at the airport.

2) WHITE CASTLE WHITE CASTLE WHITE CASTLE (I think this is the cheeseburger the LOLcats are after)

3) Met GWEN my adorable tiny tiny niece. She is SO cute and I will pester the heck out of her with the camera. Once I wake up.

Second, I wonder what Gene plans to cook for dinner. He was in VA but he’s home now (showed up just as I finished making the bed with clean sheets).

Third, my hives (why do I want to call them scales? or scabies? or rabies?) are recovering remarkably after just two days of Prednisone. Yay!

Fourth, that means that the hives will not be accompanying me on my visit to Exotic Indianapolis. I’ll be in town from late on the 29th until midday on the 4th. YAY! YAY!!!! I plan to pack an entire suitcase with my Illicit Gymbo Stash (gifting it to Brandy), which means that I will need to buy a new wardrobe once I get to Indiana. Actually, that’s not a bad idea. YAY!

(And those are the official dates – I finally booked my flight earlier today. Holy Hell, I miss Indiana and its residents and I am SO excited to finally meet Gwen.)

(I will get to Arkansas, I WILL). (I’m not proud that I have been saying that since 2008). (Also not proud that I am annoyed that my – ?? – step-cousin? – will be there more or less when I want to be there. Not thinking the most charitable of thoughts).

So, yay! Can’t wait to see my beloved family in Indianapolis in July. And that goes double for my beautiful niece, who I cannot wait to meet!

YAY!!!!!

I have seen a few pictures on Michelle’s Facebook and the happy family are adorable! Can’t wait to meet her!

That said, my birthday weekend w/ Mom feels like it happened months ago. I think that part of why I haven’t written lately is that I am still upset that Kansas lost to Northern Iowa. I mean, Northern Iowa??? That game happened when Mom was in town and we watched the last 10 or so minutes (on the laptop), cringing the whole time. We also watched the last few minutes of the Purdue game at the restaurant we went to for my birthday dinner.

We really had a great time and I feel bad that I haven’t written about it. (Hope your feelings aren’t hurt, Mom!) Mom loved IKEA (at least the meatballs) so much that we walked through it twice. Maybe two and a half times. We also walked all around the outlet mall another day and part of a regular mall another day.

I was pretty certain that I was going to dislocate a hip, we walked so much. (Oh, and we also walked the dogs on a long route through my neighborhood, which they loved). Mom, on the other hand, did all of that walking PLUS played with our Wii Fit PLUS walked on the treadmill. Seriously. One night we all went to bed and I hear noise upstairs in the guest room. The next morning Mom announces that she made her own Mii and played with the Wii Fit. We went to bed at midnight. Mom cannot be stopped!

(Thankfully she still helped us put major dents in the cakes plus once or twice a day she’d sit down with a mini cupcake or two. She is my mother after all!)

So, that was my birthday. (Except for the huge bag of bargain books from Books-A-Million that Mom and Dad got me for my birthday, which I am still working my way through and probably will be for awhile). (And!!!! My dad sent along a birthday present for me, which was a Fleetwood Mac concert poster that he found on eBay searching for Eric Clapton. That was such a sweet gift!)

Work is work – Stefania was out of the office all of last week so I was Accounts Payable for a week. I have more respect for her than I ever thought possible – how does she not drink at her desk every day??? Two days into last week I was ready to start stabbing people and by day four I begged Gwen to not make me help accounting anymore. (She said no. Grrrr). So, between the A/P Week and being off for Good Friday (ha! I worked from 9 am until 2 pm anyway) I am so. freaking. behind. (Seriously, Gwen, all I wanted was a few freaking days where I could focus on the awesome reports you make me put together so everyone can ignore them – is that so wrong?).

In entertainment news, Couples Retreat suuuucked. So disappointed. Vince Vaughn as a family man isn’t just fiction, it’s science fiction! I am embarrassed to admit it but I love to listen to the stupid pop station on the radio in hopes that they will play Lady Gaga or Ke$ha. Oh, and we have watched all three seasons of Arrested Development. The first season was great and the other two were not bad. And did I tell you I watched the first season of Californication using Netflix Instant Queue? I hope they put the other seasons on the Instant Queue because I really liked it.

And the dogs – Scooby had his annual vet visit today and – shocker! – he’s getting old. The vet said that one of his teeth may have to be pulled eventually. Beyond that, he is fine – good ears, no fleas, etc. The vet’s office is so fraking expensive. Booper is also doing well although she is slowing down a little too and we need to talk to the vet about her legs when she has her annual visit later this year. Love the puppies, so glad we have ‘em. There was a picture on the wall at the vet’s office of a whippet who was a patient there who lived for 15 years. It’s shocking to think that we adopted both dogs as puppies and now we’re almost halfway through the best case scenario, life wise.

Finally – tomorrow is Macauley/Bill and Michelle’s baby shower. (Wasn’t it like 3 weeks ago that you guys called and said “We’re pregnant! Don’t tell Mom!”). Unfortunately, I wa$ not able to attend but I sent a Chicco travel system in my place. (And a surprise dilly present, muah ha ha).

And, nothing new on the topics of Plan B or The Boy.

I am fine, hope you are too.

Anyway! We just walked in the door from our trip to the Frozen North (and Frozen it was – it snowed in both IN and OH), so now I feel safe in promoting that we weren’t home the whoooole time.

Highlights:

In Indiana, we hung out at Mom and Dad’s house, opened Xmas presents (where I was spoiled – Xmas ’09 was wayyy better than Xmas ’08), ate a tremendous amount (including the traditional family fruit salad, yum), saw “Up in the Air” with George Clooney (recommended!) and saw Brandy and her daughter Sophia. We were in IN for far less time than we were in OH but it was quality time and I would not change it for much (barring actually moving to Indiana, which looked like a possibility in ’09 but not so much now).

The BEST thing I did in Indianapolis: Well, my SIL and I went to CVS on Xmas Day and I got to park in the “Expectant Mother” parking space. I had to take gooood care of SIL because she is carrying…my niece! Yay! (Cannot WAIT to finally shop the girl section at Gymbo – my regular sales clerk will be so confused!)

In Ohio, we did Xmas presents, ate a lot, Gene and his brother went to see Sherlock Holmes (meh, I stayed at the hotel and played Makeover Madness on Pogo), and, as I mentioned previously, I did laundry to get apple goo off my pants (which I should have wiped the apple goo off of before washing, oh well!). I also came to a surprising realization, but that’s a whole separate post. Maybe later.

(Oh, and one of us respectfully requests no Plan B chat over Xmas, please. Babies Not Yet Born = Yes, Babies Not Yet Conceived But Would Live At My House= Try Again Later).

Wanna hear something super cute? So, Gene is XBox friends with my brother, Macauley/Bill. As you know, Bill is going to be a FATHER in May. Due date 5-14. So, whenever Gene goes through his XBox friends list, he sees my baby brother and under his user name is “5-14 A New Era*”

C’mon, say it with me: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

(* I think that’s what it says. Either way, it is adorable).

Mercy pie, a week is a LOOOONG time. (And I am palpitating with fear, trying to figure out what I forgot to do that Gwen will shoot me for when I return to work on Monday).

(Also: I am right now avoiding doing some real writing, so there you go).

So, it has been a great vacation and I am not lying. First, I woke up last Friday morning with a huge cramp in my side that turned out to be a UTI (my first! oh, the timing) so I had to leave work early and there was SO much I should have done that I did not and OMFG, Monday will be hell. Anyway, Cipro is a wonder drug and, as Mom put it, at least I don’t have anthrax.

Oh, and Gene came home from a business trip with a sinus thing. Yeeeeeeargh!

But this meant that I was not certain we’d be leaving for Indiana the next day as planned. Originally, we were going to get up around 7-ish and leave Cheesecake City by 9. So instead, we left at noon and got to IN about 10. Thereby erasing an entire day of Fun In Indiana.

Fun In Indiana = Mom and Elaine take off to do Things. One thing we did was buy drywall for a project at Mom and Dad’s. It had to be a certain thickness and it had to be flexible to patch up a hole in Mom and Dad’s curvy staircase. (Almost all of you have been to my parents house – or possibly live there – so I am sure you can picture it).

(Oh, and the project is going to be done this weekend, so I dodged that bullet. But look forward to seeing the finished results at Xmas 2009).

One of the highlights of the time in Indiana was slugging my brother. He knows why. I know why. When I related the tale to Friend Julie, I said that hitting my brother never gets old and I meant it.

(Oh, hey, now we’re home in Cheesecake City – still, please do not rob my house).

Ohio was also nice. I had an entire afternoon to myself on Friday – and you know how I adore alone time! – while Gene and his brother went to see Inglorious Basterds. Saturday morning I woke up and realized that when I packed, I inadvertently forgot my nice pants (stupid Cipro and UTI, ugh!) so I had to wear jeans to the wedding yesterday. Fortunately, Ohio state law does not prohibit college friends wearing denim to weddings in order to make the marriage legal, so it was not a worry (in the end – although I had to talk myself out of an early morning trip to Meijer for pants). The wedding was really nice and it was so great to see a friend marry someone she so obviously loves (not that any of us married people we didn’t love, I guess it’s hard to explain).

Anyway, home now. Need to pick up the dogs, I just don’t feel like it right now. (I do, however, feel like slugging Gene, who is still sick).