(Note to self: You actually went through 4 power cords with White Dog, including the one that Apple swapped out for free that day)

Well, yesterday was the day to replace White Dog. Earlier this year Apple revealed that they were no longer going to sell the MacBook and that they were more into selling the MacBook Air, starting at the same price point as I paid for White Dog.  The Air, while beautiful and thin, seems so … flimsy. And there’s no CD-ROM drive (not that I use it often, but it’s a good thing to have for the random time I want to watch a DVD and cannot commandeer the XBox or one of the other devices in the house for that purpose).

So, instead I bought a 13 inch silver MacBook Pro, Silver Dog. I was able to use a feature called Migration Assistant to move everything – including my wallpaper (Blanche holding my older nephew) and my super outdated version of Safari (web browser) – to the new Silver Dog. It was a little tricky figuring the migration out – somehow the little bit of stuff I wanted to move over required 5 hours to migrate so I was the loon Googling “migration assistant problem” at 4:30 this morning. (I couldn’t sleep because of an itchy ear, it wasn’t really an attack of the crazies). Turns out the trick is to not let either computer go to “sleep” during this process.

In other news, only two more days of work before vacation. Woot. In other news, OMG I only have two more days to get a LOT of work done before I’m gone for a week. Yikes!

1) It said my blog’s name is Your Blog Name Here

2) The directions from the people I purchased this theme from were: “Open file blogheader.png in Photoshop, Paint or etc and type in your blog’s name”

3) Because I’m using White Dog, I do not have MS Paint so I downloaded a free trial of Photoshop…

4) Which took about 45 minutes to download and install…

5) Only to find out I’m too stupid to figure out how to bust into the “Type layer” of this stinking document to change the blog name and then…

6) I get pissed and change the ‘theme’ back to Free WordPress blog theme #5. I get it…the best themes in life (at least in my experience) are free.

7) Dammit.

I may email these people and say “Whaaaat?” to their two sentence explanation.

9) All of the above doesn’t even touch on how much time I spent browsing themes, then buying theme, then remembering how the hell I upload said theme to my FTP site, then realizing that DreamHost’s Net2FTP interface has been removed, then reading about WHY it was removed (hackers, ahoy!), then debating about trying another interface, then deciding to try my luck.

10) Dammit (yes again, for good measure).

Grocery store (had 10 things on the list, still managed to buy a lot of stuff – how does this always happen?)

Sat at home, thought about White Dog’s power problem, saw that the Genius Bar had available appointments at 12 noon (which was about 75 minutes from when I discovered same). Ascertained that we had no other plans for the day (losers!), so then I claimed the 12 noon appointment and got White Dog packed up and ready to go. Gene came along, possibly to ensure I didn’t accidentally just buy a new MacBook. (tempting! but not really!)

We made it to Apple and I checked in at 11:50…actually, let’s sidebar for a moment. Apple calling their tech support the “Genius Bar” makes me cringe. Having to check in for my tech support appointment with a random Apple Droid makes me crazy. Checking in 10 minutes early only to hear “Yeahhh, we’re running about 10 minutes late, why don’t you go stand next to the Apple TV display and I’ll come get you” really makes me batshit crazy.

Not getting any help at all until nearly 12:30 nearly sent me over the frakking moon.

But, to pass the time, I had Gene’s help. We played a game called “Top 10 Funniest Ways to Clear Out an Apple Store on a Saturday Afternoon in Summer”.

Gene: “Bring Booper” (who, yes, is gassy)

Elaine: “Start a rumor that IKEA’s giving away flat pack furniture!”

Elaine: “Start a rumor that the Volkswagen dealership is having half price oil changes on Jettas”

Gene: “Maybe some kind of protest?”

Elaine: “Yes! Protesting Newt Gingrich at the Tiffany store” (I’ve heard something about Newt Gingrich and Tiffany but I’m not sure what it was about – surely it’s not Tiffany the 1980s pop star, right?)

Elaine: “Beck’s giving a free concert at the food court!”

Gene: “Free hackysacks for the first 50 in the door!”

Seriously, I love Apple (even though my next cell phone will almost certainly NOT be an iPhone). I love White Dog, I love the iPods (when did those get so crazy expensive?). We looked at the current model of MacBook (Un White Dog Nouveau) and it’s the same damn computer I bought 3 years ago. Why hasn’t the price gone down?

And I am just as uncomfortable at the Apple store on a Saturday (eeeek, hippies) as I am at Walmart on a Saturday (eeeeek, rednecks). I’m getting better though – the first time I stepped foot in the Apple store, I had to immediately leave. It felt like the entire store was humming (like when you’re in a casino and it’s all just dingdingdingdingdingding).

Endgame: White Dog’s fine. Improbably (or maybe not improbably), the issue was just the power cable I bought at Best Buy in January. Willie, my own personal Genius, replaced the cord for me gratis. And that’s a good thing; I am nowhere near ready (financially, etc) to replace White Dog. First, I have to convince Gene that once you go Mac you don’t go back.

Oh, I hope that’s the problem anyway! I’m not entirely sure what would happen if White Dog were to need to be replaced (other than that I’d have to eat crow because I told Gene recently that I would do anything necessary to keep White Dog running for as long as possible!). Ideally I’d replace White Dog with Un White Dog Nouveau but…well, Gene works for Schmulet Shmackard so I think that I’d probably have to cross back over the divide into PC Land.

(Also, did I mention that my Genius Bar date is on Monday @ 10 AM? About 30 minutes away via highway? When there’s a big race in Cheesecake City all this weekend? Arrrrrrrgh).

(I wonder if Gene would be cool w/ me changing the appointment to Saturday AM instead? I’m down to 63% power).

Edit #1: As soon as I put White Dog down in the cubby next to my La-z-Boy it started to hold a charge. Are all of my dogs (Betty, Scooby, Sadie and White) just unbearably recalcitrant?

Edit #2: Nonetheless, I changed my Genius Bar appointment to be today, in about an hour. I found an Apple approved repair person on the internet who would swap out the case for about $230. I hope the Genius Bar is cheaper, but I doubt it. I may end up with a Schmulett Schmackard before this is over!

Well, you can count me as one who joined in the last few years but was NOT fine. Boo, hiss! However, they had a neato thing where I could chat live with a real live technical person (I hope he was real, live and really named Ian) and “Ian” told me my version of PHP was old. Oh well. He fixed it. Yay “Ian”! Yay for never having to really troubleshoot tech stuff for my blog!

Directly (!!!) from the Internal Revenue Service’s website:

Why report tips to your employer?

You must report tips to your employer so that:

Your employer can withhold federal income tax and

social security and Medicare taxes or railroad retirement tax

(Right there! HA! In yo’ face, Tax Professional Ol’ Biddy!)

Anyway (but I bet you’ll never forget what 9 times 8 is, will you? Especially if you owned “The Super Bowl Shuffle” on vinyl, like I did***)… what has always bugged me is that if you multiply anything times zero, the answer is zero. How unfair is that? I have 8 apples, you have zero, multiply them, now I have no apples. I want my damn apples! Where did they go? Ugh, it’s like gambling.

(*Ha ha! I was right, it was called the Speak and Math!)

(** And she had all kinds of tips to teach foreign capitals. I will be 90 years old and senile but will remember that Bogota is the capital of Colombia. Do they even make kids learn South American capitals anymore? Geez, I bet the average 10 year old now wouldn’t last a minute in the ghetto elementary school I attended from K-5, and NO not because they’d surely be mugged for their cell phone and iPod).

(*** Yeah, I know. Hated football then, hate football now, but it was the Midwest in the 1980s…)

Maybe I’m just the biggest geek in Loser Town, but I am also VERY excited about this. I love, love, LOVE the original miniseries (both part 1 and part 2). Yea!

Anyway, I’ve never eaten Peeps. Gene bought a pack of them. I ate one. It was awful. Never again. Why eat Peeps when there are Cadbury Mini Eggs and Starburst Jelly Beans? Another coworker has informed me that Sweet Tart jellybeans are even better. I have a bag in the pantry waiting to be enjoyed.

We were under no legal obligation to send out your W2 until yesterday, February 2. (Happy Groundhog Day, by the way). Most employers want them the hell out of their way long before the deadline (including me most years) but sometimes we have to send them out on the last day. Sorry. Oh, and in 2010 we have until 2/1 so hold tight, dude.

If you don’t have the W-2 by Valentine’s Day, call your employer. Have you moved (seventeen times)? Was your home address correct on your paychecks to begin with? (How do employees not notice that their ZIP code is listed as “0″ on their paychecks??) If you know anyone who still works at the employer, ask if they’ve received their W-2. If they have, yours is a-coming, I promise.

(Do not even get me started on the lady who called me after receiving two W-2s from us this year… and neither form is right…and oh crap I just remembered I did not call her. crappity).

(So see? Even the ol’ Payroll Princess has a less than excellent moment).