So, he is playing WordJong (to try and earn my weekly badge). This game is like MahJongg but you have to spell words instead of match animal shapes. “Is Godfart a word?”

Scandalized, I reply “NO!”

“Are you sure? Godforsaken is a word.”

“Okay, it’s two words but still, I don’t think it’ll count according to Pogo.”

Gene smiles. “Google will decide.”

And it turns out, he’s a little bit right.

(Speaking of which, Happy 30th Birthday)

(And way to rock the cradle, young Elaine)

Anyway, since I can’t seem to get the new design for my site (for reasons too annoying to get into), I will instead link to the design teaser. Cute, huh?

(speaking of which, would someone please look at the link above using Internet Explorer? It looks different in Firefox and Safari – Safari doesn’t look correct, Firefox does – and I only use IE at work and LIKE HELL I’m going to Dooce myself so obviously)

OK, fine, since I spent my entire lunch hour venting w/ poor D, I will continue to vent here… All I want is my cute blog template. It’s so cute and it’s exactly what I want (ie, a cute new blog design in blue with stripes) and I am SO annoyed that it’s not here already. Seriously. I can’t get emails from her on GMail, and as such I don’t know if she got my emails suggesting she email it to my Roadrunner email. I know it’s not malicious, but, UGH.

(Guess who’s having a temper tantrum?)

(Not really, but I still enjoyed this cartoon).

(It is so rare that I get to use the “Snaked Again, Naturally” category).

(Crap. Could I have contracted Legionnaire’s Disease?)

So anyway. A week or two ago I’m surfing CraigsList, eyeing all the cool baby stuff when I see an ad that one of the local consignment sales (there are 3 or more different groups doing these sales that I know of) is in need of volunteers. Hey! I can volunteer for stuff, I think, gleefully surfing to their site and filling out the little form to indicate my interest.

Fast forward to yesterday. My shift is in the morning. The sale actually starts this week but the group is setting up yesterday and today. I show up bright and early (on a Saturday! WTF was I thinking?) and help unload a giant rental  truck of boxes, Rubbermaid totes, etc. Inside the room, all the racks and tables have been set up.

By approximately 9:30 AM, I realize that I have volunteered (read: no $) to help this freak set up basically a giant garage sale where most of the merchandise is from HER. And the profit? Also hers. Think about it: a t-shirt sells for $5 (seriously: a secondhand kid’s shirt for $5? Really?). She gets the entire $5! And holy moly, some of these stuff was uuuugly. And smelly too. Yech. Anything that doesn’t sell and isn’t picked up by the consignor is hers, so I imagine the overhead is fairly low.

There was also a little bitchfight between another group renting the hall and one of the volunteers for the sale (no, not me!) where the guy from the other group made it clear to the volunteer that he was damn tired of us women (!) encroaching upon his sacred space with their clothes n’ stuff and that, even though the volunteer has a bad back, we were not to put our heavy boxes of ugly clothes on his empty tables. Jackass.

By the time I left, some people had left their stuff to sell. One item was a Harry Potter something or other. The lady running the sale informed us that “If you see Harry Potter ANYTHING, it goes straight in the garbage.” By this point, I’d had about enough and was (not so) patiently waiting for Gene to arrive to pick me up. She gets into this big conversation about how evil Harry Potter is and he’s satanic and all the spells he casts are really Satanic and some lady in her church showed her a movie of a Real Satanic Ritual. Ooh la la.

So there you have it. Once again, I got Snaked by the, well, you know whos…

1) Baby dreaming – Still not pregnant (or trying, of course)

2) Certifiable, undeniable – In therapy, getting quite a bit out of it. Sometimes I take my Wellbutrin, sometimes I don’t. I attribute being able to go to bed at a reasonable hour to not taking it. After around a week of “accidentally” forgetting, I get a little snappy. I see my regular doctor later. Maybe I will ask him for a different drug.

3) Deadly poison, deadly poision, Ahh! Tasty fish! – I have mastered microwave baked potatoes (scrub, poke, salt, 5 minutes, turn, 5 minutes, done). Mmmm.

4) Elsewhere on the Internet – I have had the same 3 items in my LL Bean “Shopping Bag” all weekend (khaki skirt and two tshirts) all weekend and have not even bothered to find my credit card. What am I going to do with a skirt?? Apparently khaki skirts are what all the rilly (no spelling error) super cool girls are wearing this summer (along with some of the ugliest damned shoes I’ve ever seen) and we all know I’m a shameless follower.

5) Ha! – Apparently there is a career out there where women actually make more than men, CNN says. The story is a video link and I don’t bother clicking those, but I bet it’s either modeling, hooking or porn actress. We’ve come a long way, Baby.

6) I Are Educated – Forgot what the word cliche means

7) Indiana – Happy First Anniversary to my baby brother Macauley/Bill and his beautiful wife Michelle. I can’t believe it was just a year ago that I was cluttering up your wedding pictures. If you get married again I promise to not look like a cow.
Let’s Get Ready to Ramble – Part of me says this is all a big ramble anyway, so, that’s enough for now.

9) Life in Cheesecake City – Baskin Robbins has a new Reeses Peanut Butter Cup sundae and when I went to get one today they were out of some integral part of it. Jerks.

10) Mahjobiscrappis – Despite apparently not getting along with my coworker, I did manage to get stuck buying her a group birthday gift. (Toady: if you’re reading this, it’s going to be a Yankee Candle. Act surprised!)

11) Nerds Ahoy – Gene gave away all of his “Poker” stuff. (Whoooo! He’s not sad and I’m thrilled to reclaim the floor of my coat closet)

12) Reading Writing Listening To – Supposed to be reading The Worry Cure, have actually written two entire pages this weekend (hurray!) and Sirius 22 is on the TV but I have it muted unless something good comes on.

13) Snaked Again, Naturally – No goofy religion related stories now, sorry.

14) Someday When I am Queen of Everything – I don’t know, but when I am queen of everything, it will rock.

15) Sweet Things My Husband Has Done – He cooked me a yummy steak for dinner tonight. (We bought a new grill)

16) That’s Entertainment – You should really rent the movie Accepted. It stars the Mac guy from those “I’m a Mac, I’m a PC” ads. And is mind blowing-ly hysterical, although, not as funny as Harold and Kumar go to White Castle.

17) The Family – Things are pretty good w/ the Boy. I hope he works hard the rest of the school year to bring his grades up.

18) The Hounds – Are going on vacation to summer camp when I go to MI for the girls weekend because Gene is going to Texas for a concert and then somewhere for work.

19) Travels – I WILL BE GOING TO MICHIGAN IN LESS THAN TWO WEEKS. YIPPEEEE!!

Ta-Da!

I took a test two weeks ago to test my insulin resistance and my cholesterol level. I failed both tests. I don’t know what the plan is for my cholesterol level but the plan for the insulin thing is to send me to the Cheesecake City DIABETES Center.

That word up there really has me upset. I do not want to end up with that. I do not think I currently have it anyway, but I need to make changes right now to avoid it before, after and hopefully during pregnancy. So, that’s why all the freaky posts about how much I miss chocolate and Pepsi, Sonic and Krispy Kreme.

The book I bought about Syndrome X describes a diet that is a lot like Atkins – focus on protein and avoiding carbs. The diet may be a little more extreme, actually (and isn’t it funny? I’ve always said I’d be a failure at Atkins – see above re: Pepsi, Chocolate and Krispy Kreme). It recommends eating food in the most pure form. An apple is better than applesauce and applesauce is better than apple juice. I don’t really know how I’m doing yet, but I’m trying. I even bought string cheese (lite string cheese) because it’s important to get protein with every meal. (String cheese is so gross). Oh, and I’m not even going to pretend that sausage gravy and biscuits or Hamburger Helper is low carb anywhere besides Bizarro World.

So anyway, I’m sorry if I haven’t made much sense lately. I don’t mean to come off like a drama queen about maybe having something but probably not, but I am very bothered about it. The diabetes center sent me a form to fill out and one of the questions was “How do you feel about having diabetes?”. Umm, A) I am not diabetic, I am insulin resistant but WORKING on it and B) I am PISSED. (And, another one of the questions was: “What church do you attend?” WTF?)

First, I am #11 when you search for that.

Second, it links to the post about the Christian book about a normal girl who ends up married to a Hollywood star.

Third – and I guess this makes it the trio of life or something – the first 10 on Google when you do that search are really screwed up stuff. I’m a quirky girl but I’m not like that. Yikes. Weeeeirdos.

Time to make spinach salad.

But now that I’m watching it, it has a funny edge to it, like something’s not right. Ah, a student film, I decided. Someone’s directorial debut, acted by all of his buddies from film school! I was coasting along, happy as a clam, folding laundry (hmm, WTF is that all about?) when the main character says something that perks my ears up and, simultaneously worries me.

Main character: “No, he’s a boy from here in Utah”

Hmmmmmmm. Uh-thefuck-oh. All of a sudden, the film acquires that “something doesn’t taste right about this cheesecake” flavor, like when the culinarian at work tricked us with free Atkins-designed desserts. Awww. Snaked again, naturally. By the Mormons.

I’m editing this post a few minutes after I originally published it. I am very impressed that a small (I assume) religious college (other than Notre Dame, which is, of course, not small) had a good enough season to get this far. I just grew up thinking that a certain college in W. Lafayette, IN was #1 and it’s annoying to be wrong.