2) You know what I want to see (other than a picture of Miley Cyrus post head shave – it’s coming, I can feel it)? A movie with a May-December bromance. I’m thinking Abe Vigoda and Michael Cera in a remake of Lethal Weapon. What do you think? We need to get moving on this – Abe Vigoda is 89 fucking years old.

“This is my stop!

Got to get off!

I may go pop!

Excuse me…excuse me!

I’ve got to beee dirrrrect!

If I’m wrong, please correct!

You’re standing on my neck!”

~Splendora, “You’re Standing on My Neck” (Daria main theme song)

(Why am I the only one singing??)

Anyway, so in another case of awesome begetting more awesome, my baby brother Macauley/Bill gave me the DVD collection for sketch comedy troupe The State as an Xmas gift last year and I finished the set the week before Gene and I went to Las Vegas. Fortunately, the previews at the start of one of the DVDs included an ad for the DVD collection for the equally awesome show Daria.

(Sidebar: Thank you Almighty D for the awesome birthday gift).

(Have I said “awesome” enough?)

Daria was on MTV in the 1990s and I feel pretty sure that the freaking awesome main character, Daria Morgendorffer, was me. She was sarcastic, funny and smart. Unlike me she didn’t spend all night on the internet talking to boys, but I assume that was artistic license. I have watched the first of the DVDs already and it feels like coming home. I also am concerned that this means that high school really was the best time of my life, but that has been a sneaking suspicion for awhile. Who knows, maybe my 70s will be great.

Seriously, guys, I was in high school when that song came out. Hell, I may have been in junior high. Please stop making me feel downright elderly.

That said, my birthday weekend w/ Mom feels like it happened months ago. I think that part of why I haven’t written lately is that I am still upset that Kansas lost to Northern Iowa. I mean, Northern Iowa??? That game happened when Mom was in town and we watched the last 10 or so minutes (on the laptop), cringing the whole time. We also watched the last few minutes of the Purdue game at the restaurant we went to for my birthday dinner.

We really had a great time and I feel bad that I haven’t written about it. (Hope your feelings aren’t hurt, Mom!) Mom loved IKEA (at least the meatballs) so much that we walked through it twice. Maybe two and a half times. We also walked all around the outlet mall another day and part of a regular mall another day.

I was pretty certain that I was going to dislocate a hip, we walked so much. (Oh, and we also walked the dogs on a long route through my neighborhood, which they loved). Mom, on the other hand, did all of that walking PLUS played with our Wii Fit PLUS walked on the treadmill. Seriously. One night we all went to bed and I hear noise upstairs in the guest room. The next morning Mom announces that she made her own Mii and played with the Wii Fit. We went to bed at midnight. Mom cannot be stopped!

(Thankfully she still helped us put major dents in the cakes plus once or twice a day she’d sit down with a mini cupcake or two. She is my mother after all!)

So, that was my birthday. (Except for the huge bag of bargain books from Books-A-Million that Mom and Dad got me for my birthday, which I am still working my way through and probably will be for awhile). (And!!!! My dad sent along a birthday present for me, which was a Fleetwood Mac concert poster that he found on eBay searching for Eric Clapton. That was such a sweet gift!)

Work is work – Stefania was out of the office all of last week so I was Accounts Payable for a week. I have more respect for her than I ever thought possible – how does she not drink at her desk every day??? Two days into last week I was ready to start stabbing people and by day four I begged Gwen to not make me help accounting anymore. (She said no. Grrrr). So, between the A/P Week and being off for Good Friday (ha! I worked from 9 am until 2 pm anyway) I am so. freaking. behind. (Seriously, Gwen, all I wanted was a few freaking days where I could focus on the awesome reports you make me put together so everyone can ignore them – is that so wrong?).

In entertainment news, Couples Retreat suuuucked. So disappointed. Vince Vaughn as a family man isn’t just fiction, it’s science fiction! I am embarrassed to admit it but I love to listen to the stupid pop station on the radio in hopes that they will play Lady Gaga or Ke$ha. Oh, and we have watched all three seasons of Arrested Development. The first season was great and the other two were not bad. And did I tell you I watched the first season of Californication using Netflix Instant Queue? I hope they put the other seasons on the Instant Queue because I really liked it.

And the dogs – Scooby had his annual vet visit today and – shocker! – he’s getting old. The vet said that one of his teeth may have to be pulled eventually. Beyond that, he is fine – good ears, no fleas, etc. The vet’s office is so fraking expensive. Booper is also doing well although she is slowing down a little too and we need to talk to the vet about her legs when she has her annual visit later this year. Love the puppies, so glad we have ‘em. There was a picture on the wall at the vet’s office of a whippet who was a patient there who lived for 15 years. It’s shocking to think that we adopted both dogs as puppies and now we’re almost halfway through the best case scenario, life wise.

Finally – tomorrow is Macauley/Bill and Michelle’s baby shower. (Wasn’t it like 3 weeks ago that you guys called and said “We’re pregnant! Don’t tell Mom!”). Unfortunately, I wa$ not able to attend but I sent a Chicco travel system in my place. (And a surprise dilly present, muah ha ha).

And, nothing new on the topics of Plan B or The Boy.

I am fine, hope you are too.

So, the movie theater showed all 10 Best Picture nominees today and last Saturday. If you’re thinking that’s a lot of movies, you are absolutely correct. If you’re also thinking, “Just how long does that take?” the answer is 20 hours and 2 minutes.

Last Saturday, the first movie up was Avatar in 3-D. I thought it was a pretty movie with a mediocre story.

Next was Up in the Air. We skipped it to run home and feed the dogs. Loved Up in the Air when Gene and some of my family saw it on Xmas Day. George Clooney just never looks anything but smokin’ hot, right? And Vera Farmiga is so pretty.

We made it back to the movie theater in time for Precious. Wow, that was the feel bad movie of the year, wasn’t it? Meanwhile, the acting was remarkable and if I were watching the Oscars tonight (stupid cancelled satellite dish, argh!) I would actually root for it to win Best Supporting Actress for the woman who played the mother.

Next up, the anti-Precious, The Blind Side (or, Precious + Plucky White Woman). This is Gene’s favorite of the Best Picture nominees – he said it stuck with him. I understand that this movie is based on a book – I would like to read it because I suspect there is more to the story. It was nice and heartwarming but it was so glossy that I felt like it was a Lifetime TV movie.

Finally on Day One, Inglourious Basterds. (Damn you Quentin Tarentino for not spelling your movie correctly!). I really really really really liked this. And I am not any kind of fangirl, believe me. I.B. was my favorite of the 10 movies.

Fortunately, we had an entire week to rest up for the second 5.

First up on Day Two was Up. Okay, I loved Up but the early part where the Old Man and his wife find out they can’t have kids made me cry (despite knowing the scene was coming), so Gene and I skipped it because that wound is salty enough without going for a second helping, thankyouverymuch. Instead, we went to lunch and my turkey, bacon and cheese sammich was yummy.

Next up, A Serious Man. Gene gave me a look when someone in the row behind us mentioned that the first 20 minutes of the movie is in (subtitled) Yiddish.  A Serious Man is a movie about a man from a cursed family – but it’s a comedy, really! – and how awful his life is – in a funny way! – including a scene where his ex-wife tries to get him to pay for her lover’s funeral. Had a surprisingly abrupt ending, although we were on a trajectory that made it pretty clear that a meteorite was going to land on the poor guy’s head or something. A number of the others who were taking part in the Best Picture Showcase did not enjoy this, but I did. Not sure about Gene.

The third movie that day was The Hurt Locker. Gene reallllllllllly wanted to see this when it came out and I am so so glad we didn’t see it during its early run (mostly because I wasn’t sure what to do if we had 3 more hours to kill at the mall). The movie was OK, not really my thing. It set the tension bar high about 5 minutes into the movie, so I was a bundle of nerves for two hours. Gene disliked the movie because he felt it was too liberal and unrealistic. Still don’t know what a hurt locker is. Perhaps I will ask Gene.

Fourth was An Education. Now, one of the things you may know about me is that I pretty much have a Ph.D in the study of Older Men and Younger Women in books, movies and music so An Education was absolutely My Thing. A month or two ago I actually debated calling into work so I could go to a theater way down in Cheesecake City and see a double bill of An Education and Nine. Anyway, it ended up being a great little movie although probably has no chance of winning Best Picture.

The last of the Best Picture nominees was District 9. Yes, we’ve seen it so we left after An Education. I kinda wish we’d stayed to see it again because traffic outside the mall was completely insane. I mean, terrifying. A minivan wanted our parking spot but we couldn’t go anywhere because a car near us was 1/4 in his parking spot and 3/4 hanging out in the aisle, talking to some teenagers. You know who goes to the mall on Saturday nights? IDIOTS, that’s who. I could go on, but let’s just agree that we made it home alive and that worst case scenario, I have life insurance. Anyway, District 9 was good and interesting and you should rent it or get it from Netflix or steal it from Target. However, it is also a movie that owes its Best Picture nomination to the Academy changing the Best Picture field from 5 movies to 10 (other movies that benefited from this, I think, were: An Education, A Serious Man, The Blind Side, Up and Up In the Air. Or maybe Inglorious Basterds).

So, there you have it. 10 movies, 2 days, 3 bags of popcorn.

(PS: Dear Academy: Please make a rule that no movie with obvious misspelling in the title can be nominated for Best Picture. Thank You).

What the FUCK was THAT?
(Hey, look, a post NOT about W-2s or babies!)

Leonard is in his mid-70s. He is not a young man. And, well, I’ve tortured most of you with listening to my Leonard Cohen CDs with me, so you may recall that even the early stuff from the ’60s had a froggy voice. So.

He played last night for 3 freaking hours. OMFG. I wish I could put into words the three hours of joy we experienced. All the great songs (that no one but me cares about ) – Suzanne, So Long Marianne, Bird on the Wire, Hallelujah. My beloved Eagles can suck it, by the way, with their 3 encores topped off with Desperado. Leonard left the stage and – surprise! – came back for an encore that lasted at least 5 songs and 30 minutes. The last song was Closing Time (from his 1991 album The Future – and my first Leonard Cohen exposure).

But wait! It wasn’t the last song – although with that title, it was apropos. The last song:  I Tried To Leave You (from one of the older albums).

The night blew my mind – I went into the venue with exactly zero expectations. I didn’t read the fan forums (YES there is one ) to check out the set list or anything. If the witty asides, jokes and cartwheels (from the backup singers – YES, female backup singers, love it!) were part of every show (like when Glen Frey calls “Take it to the Limit” the ‘credit card song’), I do not know. Or care.

Basically, he could have walked out, performed the current Top 40 or his favorite Lady GaGa song and I would have been totally cool with it. But that’s not what he did. He sang, he recited a little spoken word poetry (just a tiny bit), he let his band shine (did I mention they all wore hats?? YES, hats!).

In the end, it was the realization of an almost 20 year dream. Been there, have the t-shirt. (Two, actually. A tour t-shirt and one that just says “Beautiful Losers”).

(And I take back what I said about the ticket prices – apparently we got a crazy bargain because identical tickets for the show later this week would have been $534 for two…WOW).

(* Some part of me…possibly the same part that thinks smoking is cool…is curious about “Rock of Love” but purely as a research tool, I swear)

Maybe I’m just the biggest geek in Loser Town, but I am also VERY excited about this. I love, love, LOVE the original miniseries (both part 1 and part 2). Yea!

Seriously…I thought it was almost over and then Gene hits some button on the xBox controller and I realize that we are 90 minutes INTO the movie…and 140 minutes until the end of the movie. “But the good news is that 5 or 10 minutes of it is probably intermission!” Gene says helpfully.

“That is the best worst news I have ever heard, babe.”

(Note: I love old movies…but hate LONG movies)

Anyway, Gene also told me that this is basically an Omar Sharif-Peter O’Toole bromance. Perhaps it will be remade soon with two of the guys from The State, or perhaps Jack Black and the Indian guy from the Harold and Kumar movies.

(Hey, speaking of which…did you hear that there’s going to be a third Harold and Kumar movie in 2010?? yes!)