Remember last April when I post that April 2012 was cancelled because my dog killed the Easter Bunny?

AIEEEEEEEEE.

In other news, guess what happened this morning?

I guess this explains why we had such a hard time getting Betty to come in the house, despite the rain. (Technically, I think both girls had a paw in this one, so to speak).

EEEEEW.

1) I saw two of my dogs eat something I’ve heard of dogs eating but I’ve never seen MY dogs eat. Eeeeeewwww.

2) A wooly worm landed on my shoulder. Aaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeee.

In other important news, Bob Evans still has sliced mush on the menu. I apologize for the incorrect information. Mush fans, please resume eating at Bob Evans.

That is all.

(Actually, PS: Sunglasses are awesome).

(Rhymes totally unintended)

Did I tell you that Scooby has scabies? I think I did. He does.

Did I tell you that Sadie Pot Pie is heart worm positive? No, because we just visited the vet this morning before work. (What fun, spending every dime I made today before 9 AM). Well, OK, Sadie was heart worm positive even before we adopted her but back in June it was a “weak positive”. Now it’s a less weak (i.e., MORE) positive. Rrrrrgh.

Dr. Lady Mullet asked if we wanted to do another “fast kill” treatment, which is a shot they give that kills the baby worms (?) and then the adults die off in time. She theorized that Sadie may have some very strong adults still in her system, which is why she has started to cough a big, chesty hacking cough. Yay. The fast kill also requires that we keep her calm for 30 days following treatment. I didn’t move the link about heart worm treatment to Silver Dog because I thought we were past the issue but you can Google if you’re interested. Adult worms can live for 3-4 years, which I learned today.

Fortunately we have a little time before we have to decide how to handle this (she’s on doxycycline and prednisone for now so until that’s finished we don’t have to choose). Tomorrow we’re buying the biggest package of American cheese we can find since we’re going through it at quite a clip to hide doggie pills.

Typing this one handed…Betty is sleeping with her head on my lap and right hand. Who’d guess that my chunky Corgle would end up (temporarily) the healthiest of my sweet puppies?

(Seriously, scabies is the second worst thing ending in -abies that you can have; rabies, of course, is the worst and babies is the best).

Ugh, I am so weird.

The good thing is that Scooby is already feeling better. The vet (the good vet this time, not Dr. Lady Mullet, not to say that Dr. Lady Mullet is a bad vet, she’s just not as capital-A Awesome as the Good Vet) gave him a shot of something that helped tremendously as well as a 30 day supply of some sort of pills and a prescription for a different heart worm drug called Revolution. His office was out of Revolution so he gave me a written prescription.

Two problems:

1) Do you know what a pain in the ass it is to find Revolution for Dogs in the right size in a brick and mortar store or vet’s office. Impossible!

2) Do you know what a pain in the ass it is to order Revolution for Dogs from one of the major pet medicine websites? Huge pain. First you order the stuff, then you have to mail (yes, as in, find a stamp and an envelope and mail it somewhere) the prescription. And then you have to wait, so instead of your dog feeling even better super quick, it’ll be sometime next week before this freaking stuff arrives. Yay.

Last month, apparently on May 29, I ordered about 6 different kinds of dry dog food. The dog food store that was literally at the front of my neighborhood went out of business (sad), but the puppies gotta eat…

(I ordered a variety because, since we were starting from scratch, why not try to figure out which kind the dogs like best?)

(Spoiler alert: They’re dogs. All three of them liked everything equally)

Anyway, apparently I managed to create an “Auto ship” for 6 small bags of dog food, to reoccur every month. On the 29th.

Fast forward to today. I’m thinking, Hmm, almost out of dog food, gotta order some more. I mention this to Gene, who says, “Hey, they charged us (redacted dollar amount) twice today”.

“Really?” I check my account with petfooddirect.com and, lo and behold, my autoship activated. Twice. Sixty pounds of dog food and (redacted dollar amount times two) …. uh oh.

Fortunately! Petfooddirect.com’s warehouse is smarter than I am and had already cancelled the duplicate order. The good news is, the dogs will be fed for basically a month. The bad news is, it cost about 2x the cost of 1 big bag of food. Nuts. I’m so annoyed when I do something so dumb.

So, this morning I was running late due to a early morning headache (fixed by Aleve because I don’t have time for a migraine on a work day) that resulted in sleeping late. I had to rush around to get lunch made (mmm, leftover ham!) and get my stuff together.

“C’mon, Sadie! Let’s tell Daddy bye bye before I go to work!” Sadie and I turned to go to Gene’s home office when

ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK

Dead bunny in my living room.

(No pictures were taken)

(You’re welcome)

It was Gene’s turn to remove the …. ummm… departed and I walked it to the garbage can outside. Which fortunately had been emptied perhaps 30 minutes prior. Here’s to an entire week of grossness in my garbage can.

*Well, OK, it could have been Sadie or it could have been Betty. Was Betty trying to teach Sadie to hunt? Regardless, Scooby’s a big cowardly innocent.

By which I mean that we have specific voices that are the “Betty” voice and the “Scooby” voice. I haven’t dreamed up a third voice yet, so poor Sadie expresses herself only only with “Huh?”

One of my friends on Facebook sent me a question “Do you consider yourself a pet owner or a pet parent?” Would you believe I really had to think about that?

And then I remembered that we call ourselves Mommy and Daddy in relation to the dogs (“Scooby, go see Mommy!” etc).

Well, it’s something, right?

*Don’t knock it – amusing ourselves with the dogs is one of ways we have been able to save on the entertainment budget.

Betty will eat her pill straight – no cheese, no peanut butter, no shoving it in the middle of a bowl of dog food. She will grab her pill in midair. (Sidebar: Yes, we buy the odorless kind…she’s gassy enough, thank you).

Sadie will eat hers in a bowl of kibble and usually leaves no trace of it.

Scooby…on the other hand…! Today’s lunch was beef stew meat covered in (shameful pause) bacon grease, with the pill somewhere in the mix. Bacon grease. Raw beef. Surely he would snarf up that pill in his exuberance. After I finished my lunch (BLTs, no bacon grease) I walked up to his kennel to check out his dog dish. Empty. Except for that stupid Target brand Benadryl, which was either licked clean or entirely untouched.

Belligerent. Freaking. Beagle.

I woke up after 2 hours of sleep (so, at 1:30 am) and got out of bed after being unable to go back to sleep. I wanted to research some stuff on the internet and of course the dogs could hear me so Sadie…er, Scratchy…starts whining (she is not yet on board with the kenneling thing). So, I (as Mr. Burns on the Simpsons would say) released the hounds and Sadie immediately scratches my right arm and right leg (stupid night shirt) in her excitement for being released (she was prancing, hard to explain). As the dogs and I head back into our living room I notice that the scratch on my arm is deep enough that it drew blood and looks vaguely like I have tried to kill myself by dragging a safety pin across a wrist.

Grrreat.

I think Sadie may get to meet the groomers a little early – her coat is clean but she is in desperate need of a nail trim. (Note to self: Ask Gene to take her tomorrow).

And now, I am going to unload on my poor defenseless blog for a moment.

So, AMC’s Best Picture Showcase is taking place over the next two Saturdays and we have tickets for both days. Last year we just had The Dog Lady come over and that worked out fine so that’s what we’re doing this year. But this year we have Sadie and two new kennels with doors that shut differently from the old kennels

::pause while I stop Sadie from eating a chicken nugget, which someone not named Elaine has left on the side table::

Anyway, new dog, new kennels. I guess I just feel like a grade-A jerk for leaving Sadie (and Betty and Scooby) in their kennels all day while we’re out having fun (we so rarely are out of the house or that long). The Dog Lady will visit 2x per day and I know I’ll be concerned about how it goes. I’ll leave her a long note explaining the whole thing (how the kennels open – but it’s not like she’s never seen them, I know). And I think I’ll talk to Gene about letting the dogs bunk with us Saturday night so they get a special treat too.

And finally, I know that Sadie wasn’t scratching to be mean. I know she’s excited to be out of her kennel. There’s a learning curve to owning three dogs, especially because Sadie is taller and larger than Betty and Scooby – we, the humans, aren’t used to having a dog who can swipe stuff off the side table or the bathroom counter. When I say learning curve, I mean ours, not Sadie’s. Maybe we, the humans, need remedial dog training.

Going to try to go back to bed now….