So, about 30 days ago, I had my annual appointment with the gynecologist. For various reasons, we decided to have some blood work done to see if I had anything interesting.
Imagine my surprise when their office called back to say “Hey, you probably have hepatitis C!” So, the cure for probable hepatitis C is to go see a gastroenterologist and explain that you have never done anything interesting in your whole goddamned life, so how did this happen?
(Seriously. No sharing needles. No tattoos. No blood transfusions).
(Hep C, btw, is spread via blood)
Dr. Gastro says to get an ultrasound and do some repeat bloodwork! And whaddya know, they have a lab upstairs to take more of my blood. And give me a bruise on my arm the size of a half dollar. Return appointment 2 weeks later. Ultrasound 1 day prior to return appointment (which is such a rich clusterfuck that they had better pray I don’t get the random email survey because I will light them the fuck up).
Anyway. Blood work is negative for hepatitis C. (And all the other hepatitis variants).
Seriously. I have spent the last 28 days worried about this and spending a fortune to figure it out. Thank you, insurance!