{"id":1065,"date":"2008-06-13T03:41:04","date_gmt":"2008-06-13T10:41:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/laineyd.com\/?p=1065"},"modified":"2008-06-13T03:41:04","modified_gmt":"2008-06-13T10:41:04","slug":"i-guess-it-pays-to-learn","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/?p=1065","title":{"rendered":"I guess it pays to learn&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>So, I just heard a story on the news where two thugs tried to carjack some poor dude here in Cheesecake (what? did you think my dessert-named city was crime free?). Only one thing stopped them &#8211; they didn&#8217;t know how to drive a stick shift.<\/p>\n<p>Awesome.<\/p>\n<p>I just know that the next time I pass a bank parking lot on Sunday or a school parking lot now that school is out I&#8217;ll see nothing but thugs teaching each other to work the clutch. If they&#8217;re anything like me (and we know what a badass I am), it&#8217;ll devolve into a lot of stalling the engine.<\/p>\n<p>I still can&#8217;t drive a stick, but I wish only the best of luck to Lefty, or Johnny One-Eye. Whatever criminals are calling themselves now.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>So, I just heard a story on the news where two thugs tried to carjack some poor dude here in Cheesecake (what? did you think my dessert-named city was crime free?). Only one thing stopped them &#8211; they didn&#8217;t know how to drive a stick shift. Awesome. I just know that the next time I&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[16,20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1065","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ha","category-life-in-cheesecake-city"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1065","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1065"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1065\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1065"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1065"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1065"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}