So, I just read about this interesting idea elsewhere on the Internet where some people are writing letters to the 20 year old version of themselves. I am also avoiding going to bed even though I have to get up at 6 and told Gene I’d come to bed an hour ago.<\/p>\n
Therefore, I give you the following:<\/p>\n
Dear 20 Year Old LaineyD:<\/p>\n
First of all, it’s sorely tempting to just write “RUN!” and call it a day, but I won’t. (Ditto “STAY OFF THE INTERNET!”). So, 13 years in the future, let me just say that there are things you don’t want at age 20 but you might want them later, so don’t be surprised when it happens (or not). Choose wisely because sometimes people say they want things but are actually big fucking liars.<\/p>\n
Here’s a big “Don’t”: Don’t think you’re different from the others. You’re not. You’re just like them. Again, don’t be surprised when this happens. Try to reduce the smug\/judgmental side of yourself just a hair, OK?<\/p>\n
Strongly consider changing your major right now. Yeah, journalism sounds great – notice how you’re not actually practicing journalism at the collegiate level? If you don’t have the cajones to write for the school paper at Ball State, you’re never going to get it together to write professionally. Get a degree in something vaguely useable because you only get one gratis college degree (if you’re lucky, and you are). Try not to squander every opportunity and\/or Get Out of Jail Free card that life hands you.<\/p>\n
Speaking of jail, you know who is a very bad person. Try to remove that person from your life NOW. I know it sounds all glamorous, but, honey, he was 48 when we were 16. That’s not glam, that’s straight up chi-mo territory.<\/p>\n
Turning 30 sucks just as much as you think it does – but soon you’ll see the rise of a group of women called “celebutantes.” The good news is that they’ll all turn 30, too. You’ll still be older than them but they’ll look older than you. You win.<\/p>\n
Anyway, keep on with what you’re doing. In the absolute vast majority of ways, you’re doing fine. Here are some bits of gossip for you: Guess who’s been married two times (as of late May 2010)? No, really, guess! Yes, I KNOW! You take some bullets, you dodge some, I guess (so much for ditching the smug stuff, eh?). Oh, and go find 20 year old Brandy and tell her she’ll be driving a mini-van with her 3 babies inside. Exactly zero of them are fathered by Christian Slater, but it turns out she dodged a bullet too.<\/p>\n
Much love,<\/p>\n
LaineyD, Age 33<\/p>\n
PS: Seriously. Stay off the internet. Unless you’re inventing something called Facebook, you should probably be studying anyway.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
So, I just read about this interesting idea elsewhere on the Internet where some people are writing letters to the 20 year old version of themselves. I am also avoiding going to bed even though I have to get up at 6 and told Gene I’d come to bed an hour ago. Therefore, I give…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13,15,16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2039","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-certifiable-undeniable","category-elsewhere-on-the-internet","category-ha"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2039","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2039"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2039\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2039"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2039"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2039"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}