{"id":265,"date":"2005-04-25T18:57:00","date_gmt":"2005-04-25T18:57:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/laineyd.wordpress.com\/2005\/04\/25\/did-you-miss-me-internet\/"},"modified":"2005-04-25T18:57:00","modified_gmt":"2005-04-25T18:57:00","slug":"did-you-miss-me-internet","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/?p=265","title":{"rendered":"Did you miss me, Internet?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Because I sure missed you!<\/p>\n<p>I got home from Friday to find our Internet &#8220;down&#8221;. Begged Gene to &#8220;unbreak&#8221; the Internet. No good. Called our ISP and told them to unbreak the Internet. They said, &#8220;How about Thursday?&#8221; I thought, but I want my blogs and my Sploofus and my email.<\/p>\n<p>Oh, yeah. And Gene needs the Internet to DO HIS JOB. And we all know that&#8217;s how the thought process was. Oh, yeah, Gene uses the Internet for work&#8230; They said they&#8217;d escalate to the Local Office and they&#8217;d call back Saturday to maybe come earlier. 2 PM Saturday and no phone call and Gene made me call them because he&#8217;s &#8220;tired of being the bad guy&#8221;. (Funny, I&#8217;m tired of being the cleaning lady but I&#8217;m still scrubbing toilets&#8230;). So I call and they transfer me hither and yon, suggest I call back hither, which I do. They transfer me to the Local Office. Local Office called dispatch and forced an appointment for today (Monday). They showed up about 4.<\/p>\n<p>Wanna hear what the problem was? Apparently our ISP &#8211; the name of which company shares part of the name of a major city in Pennsylvania &#8211; has being doing some upgrades&#8230;and telephone spamming us about it (because god knows, if they&#8217;d emailed we would never know!), always saying &#8220;And you don&#8217;t have to do anything.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>But &#8211; as <a href=\"http:\/\/www.eddieizzard.com\/home.izz\">Eddie Izzard<\/a> says &#8211; they lie. We needed a new modem. The girl I spoke to in tech support asked me what modem I used and I told her. I told her what it looked like, who it was made by and what color it was. Never did she say, &#8220;Hey, I think Cheesecake City highspeed internet is now using a different modem!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Well, we fucking are. And it&#8217;s a damn good thing I&#8217;m back on the Internet because I&#8217;m a junkie and I was about to start shooting hostages. Uck. No Internet? What is this??? 1988? Uck.<\/p>\n<p>Anyway, I&#8217;m home! More to follow later.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Because I sure missed you! I got home from Friday to find our Internet &#8220;down&#8221;. Begged Gene to &#8220;unbreak&#8221; the Internet. No good. Called our ISP and told them to unbreak the Internet. They said, &#8220;How about Thursday?&#8221; I thought, but I want my blogs and my Sploofus and my email. Oh, yeah. And Gene&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-265","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-really-deep-thoughts"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/265","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=265"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/265\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=265"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=265"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=265"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}