{"id":2859,"date":"2012-10-06T22:00:05","date_gmt":"2012-10-07T02:00:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/laineyd.com\/?p=2859"},"modified":"2012-10-06T22:00:05","modified_gmt":"2012-10-07T02:00:05","slug":"paptacular-2012","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/?p=2859","title":{"rendered":"Paptacular 2012"},"content":{"rendered":"

So, I had my annual visit with the girly doctor* on Thursday (I only had to reschedule it once…Lainey D for the win!). He brought up that he likes his patients (he likes to call us “the ladies”, which always makes me want to smack him) to get their first mammogram around the age of 35. Which, grrr. How did I get old enough to have to start scheduling mammograms? (Alternatively, my mother is going to be SO pissed when she finds out that I’m old enough for a mammogram).<\/p>\n

Anyway, so I got home that night and Gene asked how it went. “The doctor wants me to get a…” and then I forgot the word I was looking for. I almost said “mastectomy” but I knew that was wrong. And then I almost said “vasectomy” but… ha.<\/p>\n

Further aside, I thought we didn’t have to do these things until we turn 40?? I feel like it’s another way for me to pay for some doctor’s boat payment, like when I had two EKGs earlier this year at Urgent Care or all of those years I was on the Pill (because what was the point of that?**).<\/p>\n

Oh, beyond the general indignity of having to do…that, everything’s fine. I may or may not have given up trying to the doctor explain exactly what my anti-depressant is for and finally just let him believe it’s for psoriasis.<\/p>\n

Conversation as follows:<\/p>\n

Doctor: “What’s the Viibryd<\/a> for?”<\/p>\n

Me: “Anxiety or depression”<\/p>\n

Doctor: “I’ve never heard of this medication. Is it for anxiety or depression?”<\/p>\n

Elaine: “I don’t remember, but it’s one of those”<\/p>\n

Doctor: “Well, maybe it’s for psoriasis like Clobex<\/a> is?”<\/p>\n

Elaine: “Yeah, sure, doctor” (mentally rolls eyes hard enough to pop them out of my head). (Seriously. Of the two drugs, I smear one of them on my psoriasis and the other one I take with water in the mornings so I’m less tempted to shiv my coworkers. I wonder which is which?). (And even seriouslyer, neither drug has anything to do with my gyno and both are prescribed by specialist-type-doctors so can we get on with this?)<\/p>\n

* Congrats Dr P for only being 30 minutes behind schedule, despite the total lack of patients in your office. I pulled up to his office 10 minutes early and literally watched him walk out the door to his car to pick up his lunch. I thought the upside to him getting out of the OB game was that he wouldn’t run so behind due to delivering babies. Feh.<\/p>\n

** And yes, the point of the Pill was so I wouldn’t get pregnant in college. But were we fertile when I was in college? If I had to choose between having a b-a-b-y at 20 or zero b-a-b-i-e-s at 35 which would I choose? (Deleted joke about my mother’s reaction if I’d gotten pregnant in school but look for it in the director’s cut).<\/p>\n

Hmm. My degree has proven to be pretty useless so the gamble might have been ultimately worthwhile. Oh wells.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

So, I had my annual visit with the girly doctor* on Thursday (I only had to reschedule it once…Lainey D for the win!). He brought up that he likes his patients (he likes to call us “the ladies”, which always makes me want to smack him) to get their first mammogram around the age of…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13,19,20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2859","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-certifiable-undeniable","category-lets-get-ready-to-ramble","category-life-in-cheesecake-city"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2859","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2859"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2859\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2859"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2859"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2859"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}