{"id":4278,"date":"2013-12-01T02:50:59","date_gmt":"2013-12-01T02:50:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/laineyd.com\/?p=4278"},"modified":"2013-12-01T02:50:59","modified_gmt":"2013-12-01T02:50:59","slug":"dear-immune-system","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/?p=4278","title":{"rendered":"Dear Immune System&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Dear My Immune System:<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s December, so it&#8217;s time for me to make my annual reminder: There is no getting sick in December. There is altogether too much to do!<\/p>\n<p>(Sidebar: People of Earth! Can we please move Christmas to July for real? I get that you want to decorate your house, your car, your kids, buy presents, take a week off, enjoy the snow, do the Elf on the Shelf thing and sing along to Debbie Gibson&#8217;s immortal version of Sleigh Ride but year end is on the way so this is seriously inconvenient).<\/p>\n<p>Anyway. So no getting sick in December. I&#8217;m out of sick days anyway.<\/p>\n<p>And none in January because that&#8217;s Year End.<\/p>\n<p>February is absolutely a no go on illness because I need that month to catch up on the stuff that I didn&#8217;t get done in December and January.<\/p>\n<p>March? Only if absolutely necessary. I have a week off scheduled but I really do not want to spend it sick.<\/p>\n<p>Maybe April. Okay, immune system, you can wreak some havoc in April but only if my boss is in town and my robot coworker is around too.<\/p>\n<p>And noooo, immune system, I will not do anything to make this easier. I got a flu shot what more do you want? I will not stay hydrated, I will not take vitamins, I will not get 8 hours of sleep. I will wash my hands frequently but that&#8217;s it.<\/p>\n<p>Fight the good fight, immune system.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dear My Immune System: It&#8217;s December, so it&#8217;s time for me to make my annual reminder: There is no getting sick in December. There is altogether too much to do! (Sidebar: People of Earth! Can we please move Christmas to July for real? I get that you want to decorate your house, your car, your&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13,20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4278","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-certifiable-undeniable","category-life-in-cheesecake-city"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4278","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4278"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4278\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4279,"href":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4278\/revisions\/4279"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4278"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4278"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4278"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}