When the in-laws were in town for Thanksgiving, the tale that brought the house down was this one:<\/p>\n
MIL isn’t a fan of animals. Especially when animals get too close to the baby. SIL has a dog, Alice. Alice roams the house during the day and is pretty interested in the baby. One day, SIL was working on the laundry and MIL was doing…oh, hell, I don’t know. Let’s say she was washing dishes. MIL looks over and discovers the dog HUMPING my nephew. Nephew was on a blanket face up, playing with one of those Gymini things. The dog was doing it as a dominance thing (what do dogs consider a submissive stance? Laying on your back).<\/p>\n
Blanche screams “MISSY! MISSY! ALICE IS HUMPING THAT BABY!!!!”<\/p>\n
Now say it again using a thick Southern accent.<\/p>\n
Dog’s fine, baby’s fine and totally unharmed. Everyone but MIL found it amusing (“It was like an 18 wheeler on that baby!!!”). Before you call the Child Protective Services, I promise that all the adults agreed later that they’d make sure it never happened again.<\/p>\n
Ha ha ha. MISSY! MISSY! ALICE IS HUMPING THAT BABY! was the rallying cry the whole weekend. For her own good, I hope Alice sticks to humping adults.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
When the in-laws were in town for Thanksgiving, the tale that brought the house down was this one: MIL isn’t a fan of animals. Especially when animals get too close to the baby. SIL has a dog, Alice. Alice roams the house during the day and is pretty interested in the baby. One day, SIL…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-458","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-really-deep-thoughts","category-the-family"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/458","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=458"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/458\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=458"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=458"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/laineyd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=458"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}