So, I just heard a story on the news where two thugs tried to carjack some poor dude here in Cheesecake (what? did you think my dessert-named city was crime free?). Only one thing stopped them – they didn’t know how to drive a stick shift.
Awesome.
I just know that the next time I pass a bank parking lot on Sunday or a school parking lot now that school is out I’ll see nothing but thugs teaching each other to work the clutch. If they’re anything like me (and we know what a badass I am), it’ll devolve into a lot of stalling the engine.
I still can’t drive a stick, but I wish only the best of luck to Lefty, or Johnny One-Eye. Whatever criminals are calling themselves now.