Wishes

I wish that I could meet Stephen Colbert. I would like to get a picture taken with him where I’m pointing at him with a crazed look on my face – a version of this one. I could totally be his New Atheist Friend.

I wish that I had remembered to watch the opening games of the Olympics. I have no idea why. Now I’m trying to watch the rerun on the Mandarin Chinese channel that is devoted to the Olympics, but it’s in freaking CHINESE. (Problem solved – thank you NBC.com!)

I wish that (ooh, TMI alert) that my fucking Aunt would show up or just stay the fuck away for a year or more. (Truthfully, I think she’ll be here soon – what are the odds, really?).

I wish that – speaking of Aunts, this time non-theoretical – that my Aunt will get better quickly. She is expected to do well (get your mammograms!) but still. I may not see her often but I am certainly fond of my mother and father’s sisters.

I wish that I had more money in my PayPal account.

I wish – scarily – that I could spend tomorrow at work. I haven’t touched my mailbox, checked a Social Security Number, responded to requests for paystubs, done a background check or filled out paperwork for Baby Daddies to get bitchslapped by our insurance in at least a week. One of the location managers asked me if I had an assistant to do all the little things (like enter 2500 lines of payroll by fucking hand) and I nearly laughed her out of the state. If it is to be, it’s up to me. (Not entirely true: I would be floating in Lake Cheesecake now if Gwen hadn’t been a HUGE help. Stefania’s Toady was also a help, but I have already paid her off in frosty drinks from Sonic).