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The post with all the hilarious footnotes…

Posted on June 9, 2009 by laineyd

So, back in the day I had a Speak and Spell and a Speak and Math (or whatever the math version of the Speak and Spell was called*). I credit the Speak and Math with my ability to do simple math in my head. (I also credit my mother’s handy memory tricks such as “Refrigerator Perry is 9 feet tall and 8 feet wide, ergo 9*8=72“**).

Anyway (but I bet you’ll never forget what 9 times 8 is, will you? Especially if you owned “The Super Bowl Shuffle” on vinyl, like I did***)… what has always bugged me is that if you multiply anything times zero, the answer is zero. How unfair is that? I have 8 apples, you have zero, multiply them, now I have no apples. I want my damn apples! Where did they go? Ugh, it’s like gambling.

(*Ha ha! I was right, it was called the Speak and Math!)

(** And she had all kinds of tips to teach foreign capitals. I will be 90 years old and senile but will remember that Bogota is the capital of Colombia. Do they even make kids learn South American capitals anymore? Geez, I bet the average 10 year old now wouldn’t last a minute in the ghetto elementary school I attended from K-5, and NO not because they’d surely be mugged for their cell phone and iPod).

(*** Yeah, I know. Hated football then, hate football now, but it was the Midwest in the 1980s…)

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