wants me to post more. Can I convince her that this is a bad plan? Let’s find out.
(I can’t wait to go to Indiana again – this time next month I’ll be there!! Yay!)
So I was driving to Blockbuster and talking to Mom about the no cable television thing and I point out to her that if we can make it through 10 months, that is $1500 saved that we can use to pay the Visa bill or put toward the “Get Elaine Knocked Up” Fund.
“Elaine, money can’t get you pregnant! I guess we should have had the birds and the bees talk a lot younger.” (Dear mom, please Google “cost of IVF” and let me know what you find).
“Yeah, you kind of left that to stand up comedians. It was an interesting choice, albeit perhaps not a GOOD choice.”*
“As a bonus, they also taught you to curse!”**
* Okay, not really. The Girl Scouts and trashy novels helped as well.
** Hey, did I tell you about the 18 month old of our friends in MD saying “shitty” while we were there? I have my fingers crossed that it was just coincidence but I bet there’s a “$1 per curse word” coffee can on their dining room table now. Whoops. Those years between where they parrot things they hear and the teenage years (when you can start cussin’ in front of them again) are kind of the Wilderness Years.
(And also come to think of it, Mom sometimes g0t us out of bed with the instruction to “haul our ass(es) out of bed”? Mom is and was a good Mom and the above instruction is how we knew She Was Serious).