Important things to know

…about W-2s

(Groan!)

(Yes, this is the time of year where I talk about nothing but W-2s but at least I’m not talking about babies, so shut up).

So, let’s say that you are shocked (!) that only $9 was deducted in federal tax all year long. Don’t go crying to your employer’s payroll clerk, as if she deducted another $100 and is spending it on beer and cashews or something. You claimed Married and 4 and all of your paychecks were for $300. Did you not notice each pay period that the federal tax YTD was $0?

And don’t ask the payroll clerk “What SHOULD I claim?” Ummm… I have a grand total of 6 days training in payroll and 0 days training in taxes. Don’t ask me. What’s next? Asking me what religion to choose? (ha ha hahaha) Most of the time I refer the person to a CPA, accountant or H&R Block, although I am considering no longer mentioning that last one because I spoke to one of their crack tax preparers and frankly they sounded like perhaps they used crack.

And finally, here is a thought: If you moved three years ago and then quit your job with my company, maybe you should have called me with your new address sometime in the last 3 years. Mo-ron. Your f’ing address was on each of your payroll checks, so the fact that it was wrong is not a surprise. Neither is the fact that W-2s come out every f’ing year. (Trust me on this – I am on my 10th W-2 “Season”).

Speaking of W-2 Season, I told a co-worker today that W-2s are like politics. You spend all this time working to get everything done and then all you can do is sit around and wait for the returns. (For example, I have received a half dozen back in the mail already. The rest of the week will be mayhem-a-riffic).