So, how did the election go for you? I called my mother earlier this week on an unrelated topic and she thought I was calling to discuss the election, which I gather did not go well for Democrats.
(See, I used to get my news from the Daily Show and now we don’t even have Dish Network anymore so now I mostly get my news from gossip websites).
Here is what I recall about our conversation:
Mom: I assume you’re calling to discuss the election?
Elaine: (thinking, what election?) Oh, right, I hear that didn’t go well.
Mom: (let’s all picture her in full mourning, like Jackie at JFK’s funeral) No, it did not.
Elaine: I heard that we (Democrats) kept the majority in the…um, the one where there are lots of members and did not keep the majority in the…umm, one where there are only 100 members.*
Mom: ::shoots herself for having a college educated daughter who can’t remember which one is the Senate and which one is the House of Representatives::
::end scene::
*Bad news – Gene tells me it was the exact opposite.
Sidebar: Elaine tries to remember the names of the Supreme Court Justices:
Let’s see, there’s the guy who may or may not have sexually harassed Anita Hill, there’s the lady, there’s the new lady, there’s the guy who became Head Justice right out of the gate and good for him, there’s Scalia, is there still a guy named Marshall?
::two minutes at supremecourt.gov later::
Holy crap, there are 3 women on the Supreme Court. When did THAT happen? So, there’s no longer a guy named Marshall, the head guy is Roberts, the Anita Hill guy is Thomas, there’s a Kennedy, I was right about Scalia (high five everyone!), there’s a Breyer, an Alito and the three ladies, one of whom is (almost) named Elaine, which is pretty damn cool.
Sidebar to the sidebar:
While I may be politically retarded, I have just discovered that I can no longer name all of Brad and Angelina’s kids without having to resort to secondary sources. Ta-da.