OMG, it’s Sunday night already. What the hell?? It couldn’t have been more than 10 minutes ago I was happily driving home from work, thinking “YAY this is the weekend that will last 20 years instead of 30 seconds! I will write the Great American Novel, lose 50 pounds and clean my house from top to bottom this weekend!” Even though we gained an hour the weekend is still far too short.
On another note, I’ve been meaning to thank whomever I inherited my nose from. Gene and I were watching The Voice a couple of weeks ago and I told him “I may be fat* but I was born with a perfect nose” because two of the contestants had schnozes that made them look like Beavis. Tragic. I can think of three things immediately that I’d get corrected (were a plastic surgeon offering free services) but my nose is perfect. A friend once told me my nose was a little snout-ish and I almost hit her.
Because you care, the shoes from Ross are terrible but the purse is awesome. And the wineglasses are effective vessels for getting wine into my winehole. The message is clear: Just buy the damned Danskos you moron.
You didn’t hear this from me, but the word on the street is that the Twilight movies are only 99 cents each on Amazon Instant Video**. Betty and Sadie, both of whom sat through the first one, agree that that is at least 99 cents too much.
Speaking of videos, I just watched a video on a fashion blog about curling and styling your hair (well, my hair) (well, the blogger’s hair). Maybe someday I will do my hair everyday, but my basic reaction to the video was to try to figure out if this woman has a day job or if she’s managed to monetize owning a curling iron.
In exciting medical news, I really think most of my crazy has been re-eradicated by actually taking my anti-crazy pills. Better living through science! Also, I got the all clear on the mammogram. Also also, I can’t wait for Ambien O’Clock because I have a cartful of stuff again at Sephora and I can’t figure out how to explain to Gene that I need more perfume rollerballs. Presenting it as a fait accompli is a ton easier.
(Or maybe I can convince Betty to walk on the laptop keys in the right order later when she’s watching the next Twilight movie).
Can you believe that 4 years ago today I was in Malaysia? Yes I’m still talking about that because it’s been 4 years since I’ve done anything even slightly interesting. I just checked the archives (LOSER!) and 4 years ago today was the day I took a cab all by myself to Petronas and went to the observation tower.
Anyway, I’m OK, I hope you are too.
*Seriously, I tell all my skinny coworkers that if they woke up with my body they’d throw themselves bodily onto the highway. I’m a little worried I look like Honey Boo Boo’s mom, which is a unique worry considering we don’t have cable.
**Gah, I hope they’re all still only $.99. I want to watch them all like the other girls (much like Pinnochio I want to be a real girl!) but I’ll be damned if I’m going to pay much for the experience.