Is this true? Is Grover really no longer on Sesame Street? What’s next? Firing Mr. McFeeley on Mr. Rogers?
Oh, god. Tell me Mr. Rogers is still on TV. I know he’s dead – and I think there’s a Mr. Rogers statue somewhere in Iowa or something – but he just had better be on TV. How could I ever raise a kid w/o Mr. Rogers to watch? Then again, how do I explain to A Child to be Named Later why Mrs. McFeeley looks an awful lot like Mr. McFeeley in drag.
Then again, again, maybe we could just bite the bullet and go straight to transvestite comedian Eddie Izzard. It would be pretty awesome to have a kid who can tell the joke about the beekeeper trying to impress a girl. “I like my women like I like my juice box, covered in bees!”
I know, Eddie said “I like my women like I like my COFFEE…” but this is a kid we’re talking about.
I guess that’s not really the point, is it?
In other child related news, the boy goes home tomorrow. This is the longest July ever. And now, my selfishness is really giving me pause. If I’m so freaking glad he’s going home tomorrow, does this mean I should probably not procreate? And please, PLEASE don’t give me that business about “It’s different when it’s your own.” How awful is that??? That’s just favoritism, which was one of Gene’s main concerns even before we got married, that I’d favor our kid above the boy because, well, our kid is OUR kid and not my red headed (more brunette) stepchild.
You don’t get to give them back, kids. What if I’m more into buying the perfect gear and raising someone exactly like me (because I’m such a winner?). For why?
But if I don’t do this, then what? Am I really supposed to spend the rest of my life focusing on my stupid career? Bouncing from stupid job to stupid job? Taking the occasional vacation and justifying all my dumb purchases because “I don’t have anything better to spend it on”? Turning into one of those miserable husks of a person like two of my coworkers? (One isn’t a miserable person, because he’s child free, but rather because he is an enormous asshole, the other one just screams of “I’m super involved in everyone else’s life because I DO NOT HAVE ONE OF MY OWN”).
Oh, and the cursing. Would definitely have to cut down the cursing. Called someone dickless today while the boys and I were out at Wal-Dump and lunch.
And if I do this (have a kid, if you’re keeping score), am I doing that for the wrong reasons? I feel so bad for my friends from various times of my life who are getting married, etc just because they have nothing better to do.
As always, I’m glad today isn’t the only day to decide because I just do not know.