1. What did you do in 2017 that you’d never done before?

Turned 40, Tweeted (a fair bit), Got Laid off, Filed for unemployment, Got a new job, quit that job, Got a new new job

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I don’t remember if I made resolutions, but I probably didn’t keep them. My 2018 is to Do Better.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My sister in law had my awesome nephew A. With any luck I will meet him someday!

4. Did anyone close to you die?

One of my sorority sisters passed away. We weren’t close (I don’t think I saw her since midway through my college career), but we were Facebook friends and her death shocked me. She left behind a 20 year old son, whose father died not even a year prior. I just don’t understand how that is at all fair. What 20 year old in 2017 should have to bury both of his parents?

5. What countries did you visit?
Belgium and France

7. What date from 2017 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

January 24 (?), the day that Big Payroll laid me off (?), January 26, the day I got my New Job, August 14, the day I quit my New Job (first) and accepted my New New Job when I went back to Big Payroll

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Losing a job, gaining a job, quitting that job after getting recruited out of nowhere. It all feels a little magical even if it also feels undeserved. (If I got the job I thought I deserved, I’d be unemployed).

9. What was your biggest failure?

Taking the New Job and not holding out for something greater. I think my heart was in the right place (I didn’t want to be unemployed for long)

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nothing that even needs to be thought about. My neck hurt a tiny bit after my car accident, but it was temporary.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

I bought a really cute pair of rose quartz earrings. Ooh, and the VW Golf. I don’t get to drive it much but even if I walk past it I greet it enthusiastically, “Hi Baby!”

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Mine, dammit.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

My former colleague, the Payroll Troll. #1 reason when my old team-lead texted me “Do you want a job?” I immediately said “YES PLEASE”. I kind of wish I’d had an exit interview so they could ask why I was leaving and I could say that her shitty attitude sucked the joy out of my life for 8.5 hours a day, bookended by a an hour long commute each way only to be criticized all day. Ugh.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Gas (I guess a 2 hour commute adds up even in my Golf!)

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Going to LA for work.

16. What song will always remind you of 2017?


17. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder?


18. Thinner or fatter?

Fat, fat, fat. I am now a land whale who doesn’t even walk to the mailbox daily.

19. Richer or poorer?

We’re doing OK.

20. What do you wish you’d done more of?

I wish I’d spent a tiny bit more time unemployed and I wish I’d visited Indiana and Arkansas.

21. What do you wish you’d done less of?

I wish I’d spent less time driving.

22. How will you be spending Christmas?

Xmas 2017: at home, just Gene and I and the dogs.

23. Did you fall in love in 2017?

No, but I am always reminded about how happy Gene makes me and how much I love him.

24. Any one night stands?

Dude, I can’t afford any furniture!

25. What was your favorite TV program?

Catastrophe. Bojack Motherfucking Horseman. The Crown.

26. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

No one new

27. What was the best book you read?

I finally read/listened to Pride and Prejudice. It was really lovely.

28. What was your greatest musical discovery?

My greatest musical discovery in 2017 was the full album option on YouTube. It’s so nice to listen to music I love while I work without trying to figure out exactly what app or whatever all of our music is squirreled away on.

29. What did you want and get?

A car I can drive whenever I please. It’s not just your car it’s your freedom, yo.

30. What did you want and not get?

A fucking Belgian waffle in fucking Belgium.

31. What was your favorite film of this year?

I enjoyed Guardians of the Galaxy, but it’s mostly because I want to adopt Baby Groot.

32. What did you do on your birthday?

OMG my birthday sucked! I worked all day at the new job because I couldn’t take the day off. It was a very lonely day.

33. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

If the voters of America hadn’t done that bad, bad thing in November 2016. Please note that I’m not necessarily wishing for Clinton presidency, round 3, I just wanted a better option than the guy in office. And I didn’t vote for either of them, but I am most likely NOT making that mistake again!

34. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2016?

January-August: decently put together (although not dressed as a Clown Hooker like one of my bosses, who dared to criticize my choice in footwear, what is wrong with you lady?). August-December: ::sniff, sniff:: yeah, these 3 day old sweat pants can make it another day.

35. What kept you sane?

Slacking off, in tiny increments.

36. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

37. What political issue stirred you the most?

I have obviously reached a “Bitch Eating Crackers” level of frustration with all of them. I was glad to see Doug Jones win office in Alabama. Could this undo the horrors that have been visited upon us?

38. Who did you miss?

I miss the Boo.

39. Who was the best new person you met?

So far, I like my coworkers at the New New Job (Big Payroll II: Electric Payaloo).

40. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2017:

Believe in yourself.

41. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

I was looking for a job and then I found a job,

But heaven knows I’m miserable now

(The Smiths, Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now)

(PS: I’m actually not miserable now, Morrissey! But if you’d asked me in early August, that would have been my answer!)

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