I just spoke to MIL. I hadn't spoken to her in at least a week, definitely before Gene left. She says that today was a good day but the rest of the week was bad. They have her taking pills as chemotherapy and now she's sick to her stomach and not eating much. However, they (MIL? Dr? not sure) thinks that her nausea is the cancer and not the chemo. I told her that that wasn't fair. She says that she wants to overcome the nausea but she sounds so weak. She lost 13 pounds according to the doctor. They finally had to give her an iV so she wouldn't be so dehydrated.
There are a lot of things that I'd like to say to her that I probably never will. I'm not one for pouring out your heart to a dying person. It just stresses them out when they don't deserve that stress. So, instead, I'm going to post it here.
All I can think of is, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry she moved to OH and I'm sorry she's sick. I'm scared that she didn't feel welcome here so she moved there, even though I know that BIL and SIL need(ed) her. Living in Cheesecake City wouldn't have changed a single thing, I know. And maybe she gets better treatment in OH anyway.
But that's all I can think of right now. I'm just so fucking sorry. I don't know what we're all going to do without her. I am no doctor and I haven't even seen her since she's been sick, but I just think that I will be surprised if she sees 2007. Hell, I will be so grateful if she makes it to our vacation, and that's just 6 weeks away.
What am I going to do? It's a vain, shitty question. This is all so fucking unfair. Why cancer? And if cancer, then why THIS kind?