Or, I should be at the company Xmas party, but I’m not.
I should be, but I had to miss it because Gene is sick with bronchitis. I could have gone but I’m not really in the work holiday spirit (regardless of the Xmas cards waiting to be mailed tomorrow to each and every person I deal with). I had to cut (print, in accounting-ese) something like $8000 in bonuses today for managers who supposedly are turning profits in their locations.
Well, then, if we’re so effing profitable, can I please have my 401k match? How about the raise and review that have been due since July? Maybe a small Xmas bonus that is not a gift card for our company? (I mean, SERIOUSLY… how cheap is that?).
And I know that there are people in shittier positions right now. (This day in 1999 I was crouched in a cubicle ruining Hannukahs and Christmases for Toys R Us.com while simultaneously hating my life and questioning WTF I was doing in that cubicle?).
And I know that there are starving poor people out there who would love this job.
But really – if we have the $ for these bonuses (average value: $100 gross), why not throw a little love to the girl who prints the paychecks? I mean, seriously. If I get hacked off one day and kidnap the checkstock and the MiCR cartridges (what a great idea!), you don’t get paid. (Also: I’d go to prison, which is a good reason to not get hacked off, etc etc)
So yeah. New Boss’s Boss dismissed us at 4 – if we were going to the Xmas Soiree. I left at 4 anyway.
New Boss: “You’ll have to make up the time!” (Mooooooooo)
Me: “Of course, it wouldn’t be fair otherwise” (Said in a nodding, ‘of course’ type voice)
A minute later, in New Boss’s Boss’s office:
Me: “You should know that I’m leaving at 4 but I’m not going to the party. I’ll make up the time.”
NB’sB: “Blahblahblah, good idea” (clearly, he has no idea that he agreed to dismiss partygoers early)
Me: “And how does my Saturday trip to City An Hour Away to deliver paychecks factor into this time?”
NB’sB: “Yep, you’ve made it up.”
I haven’t had such a satisfying conversation with my wretch of a boss in a long long time. It was truly fun thwarting her plans to make my life miserable.
So, Merry Xmas to my coworkers (especially D, because she’s the only one who counts – and she’s skipping the par-tay as well). I hope it’s a good time (because, really, mmmm, buffet chicken fingers and cold club sandwiches, yum) and that this isn’t the year the old coot goes off his rocker and says something insane like “AND EVERYONE HERE GETS A $1000 BONUS!”
I wonder if I can talk Typhoid Gene into Taco Bell for dinner. Yum.