I have no idea what I meant by that, BTW. It’s one of the sentences to spill out of my mouth, along with “Hell Yeah Bitches!” and “Rock Out With Your Cock Out”. You’re right if you’re thinking “Elaine’s mother must be so disappointed with her and that vulgar mouth!” unless you are my mother,…
Category: Certifiable, Undeniable
2012 Year in Review
1. What did you do in 2012 that you’d never done before? I attended the midnight premiere of a movie (The Hunger Games), I watched the Twilight movies (so bad, so very very bad), I ate and enjoyed avocado/guacamole and I watched many many episodes of Star Trek The Next Generation. 2. Did you keep…
Fo Shizzle. Yo.
So anyway, I was just reminded about Gizoogle.net. You know how there’s an International Talk Like a Pirate Day? Well, Gizoogle.net translates a website into (oh, what’s the best way to put this?) street speak. I just used Gizoogle.net to re-read the last two posts on my site here and it was hilarious. Two posts…
Merry Tuesday
Seriously. Christmas is on a Tuesday this year. This isn’t a holiday, it’s playing hooky from work. Maybe I’d Understand Better if I Were A Christian, but I call shenanigans on Christmas on a Tuesday. So this week I get to work Monday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday? I had to work yesterday. I have to…
Fashion Advice, from me, to me
Dear Elaine, You need new clothes. Your black pants are rapidly going kaput and even your trusty stash of $6 Old Navy tshirts is getting a little thin (impressive for shirts that were neigh on to see through to begin with). That said, the first step in going clothing shopping is NOT buying a tshirt…
Oh, the dreams you have
(when you’re not taking Ambien) I kind of had a bad day on Friday that led me to not feel well all day Saturday due to it…it’s a hangover with an extra side of shame, so it’s really a Shameover. But Friday and Saturday nights were the first nights that I’ve slept without taking my…
Paptacular 2012
So, I had my annual visit with the girly doctor* on Thursday (I only had to reschedule it once…Lainey D for the win!). He brought up that he likes his patients (he likes to call us “the ladies”, which always makes me want to smack him) to get their first mammogram around the age of…
Whooops
I assume we are all familiar with the concept of doing surprising things after taking Ambien, right? (Oh, Ambien, I Love You) (Love You!) Anyway, so the other day I was washing my hair in the shower, as one does, when it hit me. “Hmm. I bought something last night. Oops.” Apparently, after Ambien O’Clock…
Well, that was stupid
So, I made it to Urgent Care and it was closer to the scenario I described last night where the trip was useless. (Note to Self: The doctors working on the Sunday urgent care shifts are NOT the valedictorians from Harvard) They listened to my heart, did an EKG (they did two actually – the…
Ugh, sorry about that
I had an appointment with a new shrinky dink yesterday so it was a little…errr…emotional. Nothing a weekend won’t (hopefully) fix.